A NIGHT WITHOUT ONE KID, IS LIKE VANILLA ON AN ALREADY ICED CAKED!

OH and please don't forget the night ALSO included or I should say did NOT include my husband…SO LOVELY! I clearly need to get out more. In any event there are is not enough red wine in my home for the evening. You know when you are so looking forward to something and you are like YES WINE…and then you are like wait, I opened that bottle yesterday so there's not a full bottle? Yeah that moment, but at that point you have already had a drink or 2, so NOT going to go out and get more. NOT to mention, you have a kid sleeping in the other room so there's no going anywhere! Tomorrow is New Years Eve day, another year goes by and I keep waiting for THAT year THAT special year to blow me over, to make me understand my being here, to make me feel like mountains have moved. I am STILL waiting for that, so it kinda leads me to believe that YEAR may not happened. BUT I AM the girl that's glass half full, not half empty. Wishing all you (that small amount that even reads and cares), a VERY Happy & Healthy New Year! Here's to another, hoping it does not SUCK ROYALLY! XOXO BTC

RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS ALWAYS GET ME DOWN..

When I had kids, rainy days just changed. I used to LOVE being home in sweats all day, drinking wine, chilling and doing NOTHING. BUT now that I have kids it just involves all of that but with no relaxing, and also no chilling, literally! I have to worry about them having an activity, not being bored and more importantly keeping them away from each other so that no one gets killed!! I miss the days I could just smoke a J have a glass of wine and chill…alas those days will return, when the kids are like 18. Happy Holidays!! XOXO BTC

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS, MERRY CHRISTMAS…AND HAPPY HOLIDAZE!

AND another year goes by, as we bounce right into celebrating 2013 and look forward to 2014! The possibilities, the challenges, the hard times and the good ones…I look forward to what it to come (I think:). I hope everyone who celebrates the holiday today, had a lovely day with their family and friends. I had a nice day, was a little emotional and not quite sure, but all and all given I was able to spend it with everyone I love…I am truly thankful! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! XOXO BTC

WHAT'S THAT SAYING? WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE? WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Today sucked royally, ALL the way around! It's still not over and it still seems to be going out with a bang; and not literally (too bad for me:). Everything that could go wrong did, AND it I already know it's going to continue into tomorrow…FOR SURE! I am ring to have to seriously drown my sorrows in friends and WINE! It's a week before Christmas and I still have to get a few more last minute gifts, but I feel like class A Scrooge so I find very little fun in ANY of it. It said December is going to be incredibly challenging, and dear lord Susan fucking Miller was right! XOXO BTC

CHRISTMAS IT COMING THE GOOSE IS GETTING FAT…PLEASE PUT SOME MONEY IN THIS WOMAN'S HAT

I love the holidays like the rest of em, but gifting a gagillion people is more annoying than ever lately! I know it's the thought that counts, and I LOVE getting people gifts but I am seriously running out of ideas for everyone, AND running out of DOE! When did holidays become the well, not about the actual holiday? Isn't Christ's birth or some shit? Didn't the light stay on for 8 crazy nights? ANYWAY, I used to have all of this holiday cheer partly I think because I was the receiver and less the giver? Meaning I would not have to worry about giving the free world, NOW I am more scrooge than I like to be…UGH. Isn't this what people mean when they say the holidays are so stressful?

I CAN'T SEE THINGS, WELL AT LEAST CAN'T SEE THINGS YOUR WAY,,,

Why is it that people have trouble seeing things for the way that they really are. I find so many people live in worlds of delusions of grander that it's hard sometimes to know what is real and what is not real. The funny part about it, I don't think they even have a clue! AND I am not perfect, clearly we know this…but I hope I know my faults, at least to some extent. I hope I don't put people out so that things are MORE annoying for them, and lord knows I know a slew of people that do that. I can't keep me mouth shut and that's is and will forever be a problem for me, but I don't think I am delusional about that in the least. So it's Sunday, that faithful day that comes before Monday:) Some like it some do not. I love the NIGHT before Monday but not in love with Mondays in general. It's snowed quite a lot here in NJ, which means going to NYC will be a little bit messier than I like, but hey it's winter; AND almost christmas so it actually quite beautiful outside. Hope everyone has a great week, can't WAIT for this one to be OVA already! XOXO BTC

Disfunction is the NEW norm.

It's amazing, we all can be SO incredibly different…but one common thing we all carry, family disfunction. There are SO many things wrong with family, and it's universal everyone has it in some form. Whether it's your family, your in-laws OR both it will happen regardless if you want it to happen or not. It's strangely comforting to know everyone shares in your pain! These last few months have been good and bad at the same time. It's been bittersweet that we left NYC and are now in the burbs, and change is always harder for most people. I am typically good with change, but I have to say this one threw me for a bigger loop. Probably b/c I am still in NYC every day, but can't live there anymore. Sometimes I miss it and sometimes I don't. I live for a playroom, but also live for walking home after a night of drinks:) It's actually been a really weird month, or weird couple of months. One month seems more intense than the next, this being no different. I was warned by Astrology Zone (see last post), and so far so good…or so bad I should say. The holidays always come with a little "crap" to deal with and this year will be no different; might even be a bit worse I must say. We have already gotten some major snow storms in our area, so I fear for things to come. I am used to having these stores in NJ, but when you live in NYC for so many years you really take it for granted, that easy living with snow. There are no road closures, or power outages. There are not MAJOR streets affected, it's just kinda more annoying to get around. The stroller stays outside the apt. everyone's shit all over the outside hallway and you are pissed b/c you are stuck in some relatively small apt. BUT you then come to the burbs and there are so many things that could go down. Well enough venting for one day, until next time… XOXO BTC

DECEMBER is NO BETTER than fucking October!

What is it about Astrology that literally makes me believe, that those things are going to happen? I am one of those people who really believe in that stuff, the stars being aligned and all that…but I depend on it almost to a fault and find things in my daily life to connect with whatever my horoscope said for that particular day. I bank on reading them and then know exactly or think this is what my day will entail! Funny thing is, a lot of time I think that Susan Miller is right on the money!! It's hump day, was supposed to have a drink with one of my best friends but he bailed, so going home to hang with the kids. Not sure which sounds better:) It's early so at this point I would say kids! XOXO BTC

YOU PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN, I WILL USE IT TO BUY SHIT

You ever meet those people that will give you their 2 cents EVEN when you don't want it, welcome it, or need it? It's kind of amazing, it's always the same people that do it…and for some reason can't stop doing it. And it is THE worst when it's family, b/c you can't get rid of them if you tried! UGH, this Sunday sucked!! Tomorrow is Monday, and I welcome the day to go back into my office and not deal with home SHIT! I welcome the quiet with no kids calling my name and no one telling me what to do, EVEN in my late 30's. I welcome all of it, and welcome it ASAP. Had a great weekend with 2 of my best friends, but it went by way too fast. Now I am just tired, sad and annoyed at the world. Welcome week, come and get me! XOXO BTC

SOME DAY MY PRINCE SHALL COME…

It's weird waiting for something you are not even sure will happen. You put all your eggs into one basket (in my case people don't even know that I am doing that), and just wait and wait and wait. I am not sure if that makes me an optimist or a NON-realist (clearly not even a real word I don't think:). Today is Tuesday, it's just, well terrible. Even if the day is not terrible I have to say it's terrible b/c it's tues! I hope everyone is having an OK day. XOXO BTC

A DIFFERENT KINDA THANKSGIVING

It's weird…if I am not at my moms, having literally the same meal I have had my entire life it does not feel like Thanksgiving to me! No pumpkin bread, no turkey with gravy and all the trimmings…just a different kinda day; but funny enough a really enjoyable one! There were just the right amount of people, and just the RIGHT people there…no hassles, no issues, nothing! I have to admit I am now looking forward to next Thanksgiving, to do it the old fashion way, but it really was a nice departure from the norm:) I hope everyone had a lovely long weekend, celebrating with family and friends. Maybe this time next year, we will be the ones throwing the big holiday celebration!! XOXO BTC

GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS

The ONE reason I was ever apprehensive about having girls, is the single fact that they can be so incredibly cruel. I did not want my kids to go through some of the things that I went through, and did not want them to BE the "mean girls"…EVER! I drill it into their head but lord knows if they are listening, b/c when they leave the house clearly I can't be there for every move. Most recently Aiden came home saying she was part of a fairy group, and that she had wings and so and so was the leader, and they had to do this, and they had to do that. Needless to say, I BUGGED! BIG TIME! It's such a fine line of letting them know the right and wrong things to do, without crushing their need to explore and create some sort imaginary world. I want her to know what's real but I want her mind to create fun things too; where she and her friends can be anything that they want to be. I want her to do all of those things, without excluding ANYone at all. It's tuff. I hope everyone had a great weekend, ours was good. Looking forward to a few days off this week, time with the fam, friends and kids:) XOXO BTC

GOD BLESS YOU HODA AND KATHY LEE, NO FOR REAL GOD BLESS YOU

IT's Friday and it's my day to work from home. It's such a lovely thing, b.c I literally sit at my computer, without any interruptions doing everything I need to do; WHILE I also clean the house and do laundry. Sounds so simple, but it's really that lovely! I am looking forward to the weekend for no real reason, we may have plans tomorrow night but I just want to drink tonight with my man and go to be early! I want to lie like broccoli and enjoy QT time. Part of my wants to take a bath right now, but that's going to cut into all the other shit I need to do:) I am watching Hoda and Kathy Lee, and it's 11 AM. They are having a lovely LARGE glass of wine, and it looks so amazing. If I did NOT have to get my kids at 330, I would 100% have a glass right now. One thing that SUCKS to be in the burbs…b/c this girl will NEVER drink and drive. AIGHT, have a good one. BON weekend! XOXO BTC

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

https://medium.com/on-startups/ba600f39a13d AMEN THE END. XOXO BTC

SO CLOSE BUT YET SO FAR AWAY...

Have you ever wanted something SO badly you can (as they say), just taste it? I feel that way all the time, and more and more each day. I can see it, it is so close but I can't quite grab it. I take small steps forward, inches in fact and then get WACKED in the face. BUT the best thing is...I just keep on plugging along; like a warrior or a total ASSHOLE! Not sure which one it is but I will be certain to let you know. Tomorrow is Monday, that amazing day where you kick off the week and there are so many possibilities; but at the same time there are so many things that could go wrong. I need a fucking vacation (have not taken one of those with my man since 2006), no for real I am not playin! Love to all! XOXO BTC

IT'S FRIDAY, AND I'M GONNA GET YOU HIGH TODAY, CAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT NO JOB...AND YOU AIN'T GOT SHIT TO DO!"

THE single best movie of the 90's if you ask ME! So it's that glorious day of the week that EVERYONE seems happier, EVERYONE has a little more spring to their step and EVERYONE is slightly nicer to strangers...Friday! It's the best day of the week, so many weekend possibilities and SO little time! It is such a lovely feelin! This weekend Aiden is having her girlfriends from her class over, for a little PJ party. I love to see her happy and excited, SANS the anxiety. I am hoping this will bring her close to the girls and I can learn a little bit more about the parents. I always knew that having girls would be harder, SO great and so amazing in so many ways...but once they got older in school, I knew there were be a lot more SHIT! It's hard to see your girls go through things even at such a young age, and you want to shelter them from the pain you know other bitches will cause them. BUT realistically there are always mean girls, so you can't shelter them from everything and everyone. All you can do is provide them with the most amazing love and support at home, guidance and all and pray they can get through it! I hope everyone has a great weekend! Much love! XOXO BTC

DECKED OUT WITH NO PLACE TO GO!

I remember the days in fashion, where every day we came into the office DECKED to the nines! And when I mean decked I mean serious heels, clothing, jewelry, the whole kit and caboodle...just to pack some trunks for a shoot, stand in the fashion closet, or go on market appointments all day long. Question is who were we dressing FOR? and WHY did we feel like we had to dress to impress? Cathie Black the former President of Hearst used to say, "Dress for the job you want, not for the job that you have." I mean in theory it does make sense, and we are working in media right? Today is Thursday, which means I work from home tomorrow. I can't believe the week flew by so fast, but I am honestly glad that it did!! Aiden is having her friends from school over for a P.J. party Sat. that should suck royally for me, but be super fun for her! XOXO BTC

SOME PEOPLE HAVE WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS, OR NOT ENOUGH TIME TO USE THEIR HANDS?

Don't you wish you had enough time to fully enjoy taking a shit? I mean really...if I had 15 minutes to myself without someone calling me name, my phone not going off, my mind not racing just to go to the bathroom I would be a changed woman! As insane and well gross as that sounds, that's exactly how I feel! Where does the time go? Why do the days go by so fast as you get older? Why do the kids grow up so fast, and how can we make it slow down? How can we have a little bit more time for ourselves, and more time for our significant others? How can we make time to help our family and friends get by/through whatever they need...how can we just slow down? AND is it even possible? What needs to give, what can we omit so that we have more time for ourselves? Do we want more time or are we better with more things to juggle? I have no idea what the answers to my questions are, not sure that anyone does. All I know is that sometimes I feel like my body is going to explode, I get angry at other people who don't get how much it is to try and be everything to everyone. GONE are those days when I only worried about myself, but then again I chose this life. So it's kind of null and void. Now I am just talking out of my OWN asshole (mouth:). IToday is my fav. day of the week, "Terrible Tuesday." When everyone has BIGGER assholes (mouths) and everyone annoys me MORE! When things just don't as planned and everything sucks a little harder. X XOXO BTC

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE...THAT'S FOREVER GOING TO BE IN YOUR DANM LIFE!

REALLY what happens when you know someone could potentially be in your forever, but you're not super fond of them? Is that what it's like when your kid brings someone home and they end up marrying them? UGH I am so not down with that:) I wonder what the other person sees in them, and why they don't see what I/we see? I wonder if they see the parts that suck about them, that are all too evident when we are all together? I think to myself, there's no way you don't see it, feel it...the tension, you could cut it with a knife! It's Monday and just about everything and everyone irks me! I hope everyone had a fulfilling weekend, whatever the fuck that means:) XOXO BTC

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I WILL NOT CONFORM

I have this extreme way about me, that does not want the world to categorize me as "the norm." I am not sure if it's because my entire youth I tried so hard to be like everyone else around me, that I was awakened in college to the fact that I am not like anyone else; and learned to embrace it. I now do MORE than embrace it, I don't allow myself to conform to the norm. Something about the way I do something, dress, talk has to consistently be different from others...or I feel, well like a clone. I could psycho analyze this until the cows come home, but I do think it's really as simple as finally feeling ok in my own multi-colored skin. So it's Sunday, and we will be spending the day watching football with one of my best friends; really there's nothing BETTER!! I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, off to the start of yet another work week:) XOXO BTC

NO PAIN NO GAIN

Working out for me is really all or nothing. I can't do it SOMETIMES or SOME days a week, I have to do it everyday with MAYBE one day off. If I don't do it like that I don't feel fully committed; and I know some people say that's aggressive, but it's the only way I really know. If I am not working out then I am not working out at all, which happens VERY little in my life. It is my outlet, my moment of clarity and peace...my A HA moment. I love everything about it, and always like to try new things! THAT'S all I got on "Terrible Tuesday!" XOXO BTC

THE MIRACLE OF LIFE...

IT'S amazing sometimes to think that we actually have kids, that WE made! If you don't have kids that's going to sound really weird, but if you do you will just get it! I look at the girls and think I cannot believe you belong to me; that I am that lucky to have you! We spent the day yesterday with best friends that are literally family...I spent the entire time holding their newborn son. He was SO delicious, so little and so freaking cute! SO much of me could do it again, have a 3rd then I think about how easy life has become b/c they are both so self sufficient and I think yeah not going to happen. NOT to mention my man won't have it:) I am thinking that November is going to be WAY better than Oct. but then I say that, and then the shit will hit the fan. I can take the normal crap, but the WACKED out shit I cannot handle ONE more moment!! Happy Monday! XOXO BTC

"THE SUN WILL COME OUT...TOMORROW..."

What is it about the Fall that makes me SO much happier than the spring and summer? Strangely enough people love the spring b/c it's warmer, you can sit outside and enjoy a drink, everything's blooming. Me on the other hand, I appreciate the cold a little bit, I like when the holidays fast approaching and all that good stuff. SO today is Wed. and that's always a weird transitional day. It's not Tuesday and it's not Thursday so it's like now what? It's not a GREAT day to drink b/c you have to be responsible for 2 more days of work. I have Aiden's Halloween party tomorrow, remember...I am the class mom. If those mothers only knew the half of it:) Happy Hump Day! XOXO BTC

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO SAY...I'M SORRY.

IT'S HARD FOR ANYONE TO SAY SORRY, especially those times when you don't even think that you did anything wrong!! You know how it goes, "sorry seems to be the hardest word"... So, yeah I am sorry for hurting people and saying not nice things sometimes, I am. I am sorry that people don't see things how I see them and how I don't see things how they see things. It would be A LOT easier if that were the case, but it's not so sometimes you just have to say you're sorry and move on. I have a hard time with that, I am sure they do too; not to mention I can't hide my feelings on most occasions so it's hard to LOOK like everything's fine when you don't feel that way! I hope everyone is having an OK day, it's "Terrible Tuesday" and we know how that story goes. XOXO BTC

""WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE STOP PLAYING NICE, AND THINGS GET UGLY..."-THE REAL WORLD"

What happens when you feel like you REALLY, REALLY know someone, and then they fail you in some way. They shows sides of themselves that you did not even know existed, and when they do...are those things that you can get over? How do you deal with it, move on, and still maintain some sort of relationship; and is that even possible? I am beginning to think that CAN happen, even with those you are SO close to. The question is do you want to continue having that relationship, and if not then what do you do? Ever wish you could just turn your mind off? Literally say to it, please quiet yourself down for a moment so that I can think? OH and without meds of course:) I wish I could turn it off tonight, this week, this month, this year, last year. Off to watch Revenge so that I can feel normal again, vs. people are are clearly crazier than me! XOXO BTC

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT...

It's funny, sometimes people can just READ you. Read you in a way you would rather they not! It's like they don't like you and you don't like them, but nothing is really ever said. It's always been that way for me and a "teacher" from the past. Most people walk away from school and then never come back, never have anything to do with their school...I (strangely enough) am not one of those people. I think to myself now that I am adult why do I still feel that way? Maybe because you still suck? ANYWAY... As my 20 year high school reunion approaches I wonder what it will be like, who will be there and do they even really care? More importantly, why do I care? I am still friends with my group so it's not like we don't see each other, but then again it might be nice to see people I don't see every day too! And then of course not so fun to see people I don't give a rats ass about too:) It's Monday, and boy does it feel that way. I cannot WAIT for this month to come to an end, it's been HORRIFIC!! XOXO BTC

GIVE ME A BREAK I SURE DESERVE IT IT...

That's all I gotta say.

YOU WANT TO MAKE IT, EVEN IF YOU'VE MADE IT!

The strange thing is even if you have made some sort of success for yourself...you always want MORE! I don't know if that's something that is innate, OR you feel success so you just want more of it. Either way, I always want to DO more, BE more, WORK more!! HOW to do it is really the more important. I think that's my next conquest, WHAT is next for me! XOXO BTC PS: TERRIBLE TUESDAY WAS OF COURSE...TERRIBLE!

"NOBODY KNOWS THE TR0UBLE I'VE HAD..."

Does everyone think this month blows? I mean I know I have said this in other posts but really it super sucks!! I am now on the way to a root canal dr. b/c this same fucking tooth has literally bothered me for like 5 years, NO joke! Lends a whole new meaning to getting to the root of the problem:) SORRY I could not help myself! Yesterday we walked for my best friend Carrie's son, Sam. WHAT a treat it was...and so inspiration. she and her family are just amazing! Hope everyone's having a better Monday than me! XOXO BTC

STANDING THE TEST OF TIME...

Is there ever a time in ones life when you are not tested but something OR someone? Do we ever "pass" the test? And once you "pass" the test, then what? Life is clearly one big test, but sometimes I Want to say FUCK YOU to the test! Lets see in just 24 hours my mom fell running after one of my kids, my business partner AND PR Coordinator have the stomach flu, I got my period, Lila finally got over some cough/fever shit; AND my husband and I could not BE more at odds. That's like a month long series of tests. Then there are those who are REALLY and TRULY tested daily. People with MUCH bigger problems than me, like terminal illness, no money, no family, etc. Who am I to think that my tests are more significant than those who are truly tested? You see at the time, you don't think about those really important things. All you think is this BLOWS and why the hell can't things just go slightly in the right direction!! Today is Thursday, which means it's closer to Friday, which means it's closer to the weekend; which also means Monday is around the fucking corner! UGH XOXO BTC

WHY ARE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE SO DUMB?

I mean really! WHY is it that so many smart people are...stupid! I mean I am so not a rocket scientist and I don't claim to be GREAT at anything, other than maybe my career; but I there are far too many people who are smart/stupid. I could write an entire book just on that alone! Case in point... There is a person who will of course remain nameless, who has the ability to act like a total self loving, SNOT! She walks like her shit don't stink, she talks like her shit don't stink, she is just an all around self loving, A #1 BIOTCH! I know what you are thinking...tell me how you really feel? :) But really, I want to tell people to shut the fuck up daily, hourly, BY the moment actually, but I don't. I DEF. don't over the phone to a client, I def. don't to friends when they drive me nuts, and I MOST CERTAINLY don't to someone in the industry. People are crazy, and when you call them out on their bullshit it makes them irate. I can sometimes relate to that actually, I don't like when people tell me I am not listening to what they say...so I have plenty of my own faults. HOWEVER, those I am holier than though types need to take a step back and wonder why they have so much conflict! I cannot imagine that it does not spill over into other areas of their lives, I can't be the only asshole that has to deal with their shit!! ANYWAY, enough about the bitches of east wick/Eastside:) I hope everyone has a lovely night, it's hump so you know what that means...the weekend is NEAR! XOXO BTC

A DOG WITH A BLOG

I love the name of that show my kids watch, it's so...weird that it works! I have been thinking of what else to call mine, but it does not have the same ring to it when it's not as funny? You know seems way too predictable! So today is Tuesday, I have to be home again today b/c Lila is sick with fever; and if it's not me who else would it be? It's amazing to think that now I don't have the help I used to have so any deviation from the normal plan involves me dropping everything, and being there. In theory it seems normal, but when you run a business and you don't want to be home...it's a bit of an adjustment! "Terrible Tuesday" I hate this fucking day more than life itself. Although this month, every day seems to be like "Terrible Tuesday." I have come to the realization that I no longer like one of my best friends husbands. I mean what is that about? I think he's passive aggressive, annoying, may even be gay for that matter and still manages to take the love my friend has for him and stomp all over it; in front of other people. It is amazing, once I get something like that in my head it makes it very hard to leave. Question is will I ever voice my opinions to her? And if so, is that even appropriate?? I would think not, but what do you do when it's the person you tell EVERYTHING to? I have a lot to think about, but for now I am just trying to get through the day! XOXO BTC

LIFE IS HARD

It's really amazing to think about what people have to endure, with just every day life. One minute things are just moving along nicely and the next, shit happens. The storm was my FIL's surgery, the after math is really the worse! There were some complications with his surgery (as there are in so many other cases), and so we are still not out of the woods. We are just at a place where he is somewhat awake but not fully out of the woods. Life is hard, it's hard for him, it's hard for us and most of all it's hard for my MIL. It's nice to know Brian has a big family who gives lots of support. This month's horoscope did mention that it was going to be a VERY hard one; for everyone. I am praying that he makes it through without too much damage on the other end, b/c this is going to call for rehab, etc. Hope everyone starts the week off to an ok start, lord knows mine is NOT! XOXO BTC

OCTOBER NEEDS TO JUST FUCKING END!

It's barely begun and this month already sucks BALLS! I read every horoscope known to man, even ones from people I have never even heard of; but none the less everyone's saying this month is going to BLOW! AND so far, everyone's dead on target! October needs to just fucking end! I can't even WRITE! JESUS H. xoxo BTC

DONT HATE ME...B/C I AM SLACKING:(

I GET A D- LATELY, I REALLY DO! And I mean that in ALL areas of my life. I get a D, b/c I have not been the best blogger I could; well all things considered b/c technically I am not a blogger:) BUT I can't seem to be 100% in ANY area of my life at the moment, and for someone like me that's really hard. I am 1/2 assed with just about everything and everyone can pretend like they don't see it or don't know but that's such a crock of shit! HOW can I BE better, DO better? Did I mention that I am also Aiden's class mom? OH yes I am. I am her class mom, so that's another thing I will fail miserably at...or at least fall short, and being new that's not such a good feeling. It's Monday today, and doing EVERYTHING under the sun I still could not make it in. I can't even go into the reasons why, but it's RIDIC! Hope everyone's having a better Monday than me, Astrology Zone said my month's going to suck...so far she's RIGHT on TARGET! XOXO BTC

LILA JAMES IS 3

WTF where did the time go? I remember so well the day she was born and it really feels like so long ago in so many ways, and so recent is so many other ways. It's hard to remember life without her, or either of my kids for that matter! What did I do all day? What did I do all night and on the weekends? I mean it was all about me, and that's THE most insane thing to think about! ANYHOO, I made cookies for her little class and she will have ice-cream cake here with her family. I love her so, she's my little boo. She is THE biggest pain in the ass on so many levels but she's my boo. I love her to death, she will always be my little baby! I hope everyone's having a great Thurs. you know tomorrow's Friday so that makes today tolerable. XOXO BTC

I need

A change...what that is, will let you know KNOW! XOXO BTC

STUPID ASSHOLE

There are SO many times that I to tell people shut it...BUT even more aggressively shut the fuck up! It's terrible that I feel that way, but I do. I often think to myself do you know how much you annoy me? YUP this is my Monday, CHEERS! BTC

SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID

I have a BIG mouth, and not the kind that divulges secrets...the kind that sometimes says the whole truth, nothing but the truth so help me god. The kind that sometimes hurts people's feelings, the kind that some people really value b/c they know EXACTLY what they are going to get. BUT sometimes you have to just keep quiet even when you don't want to. Times when you know that things could just blow up SO big, that it would be impossible to take things back. Things would be said that could and would lead to other things, and none of which would be a good thing. There is that part of you that thinks if you can get it all out, things would be repaired; but then reality sets in and you realize you would not be in this position in the first place, if you were able to communicate. Life is hard. BTC

A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU, TO ME, YES YOU!

That is how I feel about this very uneventful past week, which just happened to be my birthday! It's like another year has passed, and here we are! ONE thing that's different is that things have changed from this time last year, and for that I am really happy! It's strange you get older and you want to celebrate it less, yet you still want to spend that night with your friends. This year I chose to do almost nothing. I had an impromptu evening with some of my best friends..but really that was it! The highlight of the night was just spending time with people that I love...and who love me JUST the way I am! It's funny how birthdays signify times in your life when you either had GREAT ones or ones that totally sucked! LIKE I remember my 17th birthday so clearly...that I EVEN remember what I wore! Come to think of it I want to bring flight jackets back in fashion. I looked pretty damn good in that coat. It is Friday and I work from home today, it's nice I can get things done I don't normally have time for!! I hope everyone has a lovely weekend...XOXO BTC

"AND THE BEAT GOES DA DA DA DA DA...YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF..."

You ever feel like you can't quite figure out where you belong? Or who you are? OR rather you know who you are with certain people but others completely just question that for you? Maybe I am not making sense. Have you ever been with a group of people that you "like" but don't really "know", and then leave and realize you are nothing like them, you stand out like a sore thumb and you would never in a million years hang out with them if you did not have to? YEAH those types? I recently had that type of encounter. I think the funny part is, I can really talk to anyone. Even people who suck! SO it's really hard for people to see how bored I get with a conversation b/c I can fake the shit out of my expression. BUT really all I am thinking is this person SUCKS SO BAD, and there is nothing in the world I would rather be doing than NOT talking to YOU! Or when you feel like they feel they are elitist in some way, over you until they find out where you live, what you do for a living and how you spend your fucking money? YEAH those types. I hate all of you out there like that, and I hate you more for allowing you to make me feel this way. There are so many of you it's like a pack of wolves. Every town, every city, every situation that when you find people who are NOT like that, you are so relieved. I actually cried in the car with my husband and said I just don't ever feel like I fit it; or I really only feel like I fit in with my REAL, TRUE friends! UGH what a fucking nightmare. ANYWAY, it's hump day...and that's always better than Terrible Tuesday, and Terrible Tuesday it was! Sorry I have been slacking, I seriously don't know which end is up. XOXO BTC

ALL SYSTEMS A GO...

I mean, it's time...it is the time to sell the book. It is finally here, and I can only tell you that I am crapping a brick with the idea that this would even happen; let alone be remotely successful. I was thinking about this on the bus today, and the fact that I would literally talk to anyone about any thing! Now that's strange but does set up nicely for the book. It's Thurs. and I am feeling a bit better about the fact that the weekend is approaching, and that I am spending the night at Dana's with Aiden tomorrow. I could use some girl time, just what the dr. ordered. Off to lunch with one of my fav. editors...and that list of favs is getting smaller and smaller:) XOXO BTC

WE HAVE ARRIVED...

What does it mean when your kid who is normally anxious, runs up to all of her friends at the town party? What does it mean when your man talks to EVERYONE who will listen, and skips back and forth to work every day? What does it mean when your almost 3 year old wakes up and wants to go to school RIGHT away? What does it mean you ask? It means we made the right decision to leave the crazy world of NYC! Happy hump day! xoxo BTC

GARDENING SEEMS LIKE A NICE PAST-TIME!

What is it about my industry that sometimes makes people want to jump right into ANOTHER industry? It's the pedi bullshit, the cattiness, the momentary lapse of reason b/c someone wore your shirt, the higher than thou attitude, the I am the newest, latest greatest thing! Why is it that fame and recognition can really bring out the worst in people? How do we "make" people the "IT" people? AND is there a way to do it that's less obnoxious? Will the forever trend stars making their rise, in some weird-ass way change? Will there always be such strife to be the IT girl or the IT guy, made sometimes but just wearing a pair of pants a certain way? When will that end? When do the real fashion people come back; and how do we learn that even if you have access to all things at a young age, does not necessarily mean you SHOULD have them! I am feeling very introspective today...taking a look at the inside of me and the outside of others. It's "Terrible Tuesday" and I am not feeling very HAPPY today, or rather feeling more "lets see what goes on with the world." In otherwise I think I just need a really good COCKTAIL! XOXO BTC

A WHOLE NEW WORLD....

It's Monday again (like it is after every weekend), but for some reason this week feels different. Less chaotic (For the moment) and a little more organized. It's a good feeling, and I hope to be getting into a little groove, in the commuting!! WOWZA being a burbanite. HOWEVER, I am still a NYC gal at heart! I am excited to be out on Thurs. night...so I still have it in me:) Yesterday was AWESOME, spent the day with the Vecharelli's and had a blast!! So nice to be close to one of my besties and to know the kids will always be friends. Now it's just work work work away, AND book book book away!! Hope everyone has a great Monday, if that's even possible! XOXO BTC

IT'S THE WEEKEND IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE?

I guess people go in and out of the city weekly, to get THAT feeling on the weekend. The feeling of waking up to birds, nature sounds, etc. The things you CANT get in NYC...the idea that you can wake up, be loud and you don't have to worry about waking up your neighbors, is really quite amazing! It's our first REAL Sat. in the burbs, where I don't have to unpack, get bins, organize, etc. I just get to starve myself for the Holiday,(yipee). Clearly we know that I am not a religious person, and I think the fact that you have to starve yourself for a day to repent, is beyond fucking ridic. BUT I do it b/c I love my family and love his family. What is everyone else doing for the weekend? I hope eating:) OH why is it that people can ask me for things day in and day out, but when I ask for favors from my friends...it's like pulling teeth? XOXO BTC

ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER DOLLAR...

So she completed her first day of nursery school (Lila), and she would not pee, missed her mom and cried during rest time, but still wants to go back tomorrow!That's progress right? :) ME on the other hand, I was a nervous WRECK! I could not even speak I was so worried when my mom downloaded me; but then again it was my MOM who picked her up...it made it ok!! I am not cut out for this shit, hence why having more kids is not even REMOTELY an option! So how was everyone else's day? Someone's gotta comment on all shit I spill, like a bout of dia! WELL TGIF it's fucking Friday tomorrow, and I could not need it more. Then again it's the damn holiday (Yom Kippor) which by the way is SUCH a bore:) Fasting and shit...it's the WORST! Until tomorrow... XOXO BTC

12 YEARS AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY

I CAN'T end the evening without saying some sort of prayer for all of the people that lost their lives, 12 years ago today.

AND SO IT GOES...

Little Lila James starts her first day of nursery school tomorrow, and I am buggin a little; not gonna lie! It's a long day, 5 days a week and I am slightly FREAKED out:) I know she's totally ready for it, and will be more than fine...but I also can't believe it's that time in my life. That after her, there are no more babies. No more kids. No more pregnancies. NADA. AND Brian can't come with me to drop her off, to boot which kinda makes my head want to explode. Is that totally fucked up? I know I should understand that he works for someone but if he can be flexible sometimes, why can't he be flexible with this? In any event, I am REALLY happy and a little sad too. I just need to get through this ONE last transition and then I have ENOUGH change to last me a lifetime! NIGHTY NIGHT! XOXO BTC

"YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT..."

I mean NO ONE says is better than Mick, it's clear that life is not what you plan it to be. There are curve balls left and right and they always say when you go through it you come out stronger...well I am going through it a little, so I assume I will be THE FUCKING HULK when I am done!!

MAINTAING MY SANITY IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT!

FUNNY ENOUGH...the actual move was WAY easier than keeping my sanity! I think the actual move and being in the burbs was actually quite easy...it's all the other shit that's hard! I think family disfunction is hard, and seeing more of it is never an inviting feeling. ALL of it makes me feel like it's a bit of a SHIT storm! I think I Am going to take a bath tonight, that might help for the time being. Is this was commuting it like? I sound like a crazy person in this post but my mind is just RACING! There is one family member that is BEYOND whacked (and I mean that b/c it's a general consensus)! Just makes things harder for everyone..family, friends, etc. I wonder at times do they know that everyone feels that way about them? Or are they too self involved to think that it may be someone else? It's like staging an intervention. You ponder in your mind if you think it's worth even conversing about it, and then you think NAH too much of a headache...much better for him to live in his own misery:) OYE..."oh what a night...DAY, WEEK, MONTH, YEAR!!" XOXO BTC

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN...

SO sorry for being MIA, we moved yesterday and needless to say...my head is WAY up my ASS!! I have not even attempted to get use to the fact that we actually moved, because I am still in the process of getting everything together!! THAT will be the real challenge! Half the battle is kinda done, Aiden started her new school (WOWIE) and we are here so that is all well and good. Next week little Lila starts next week, her first nursery school experience and I don't know...everyone feels a little lighter:) I hope everyone had a lovely Labor Day, Brian and I celebrated our anniversary with some REALLY strong MARGS! Way to go out of NYC with a BANG...and funny enough, I can't wait to go in for dinner and then turn around and drive my NYC ass back to the burbs! WHO the hell would have thought it!?!?!? What day is it today? I don't even know. XOXO BTC

GIMME GIMME GETS NOTHING...

I usually say that to the kids when they constantly ask me for something; BUT it also works really well when you ask a designer friend for something (to buy), and they can't deliver! What is that about? I don't really understand if you are friends with someone, and want to BUY something from them to support the brand...why you can't make it happen. Just makes me annoyed. This is what irritates me at 6:15 AM on a Sat. OYE! XOXO BTC

AND ALL.... THAT.....JAAAAAAAAZZZZ

"DO YOU REMEMBER, THE 21ST NIGHT IN SEPTEMBER..." WELL FOR US IT REALLY SEPT. 1ST! This time 11 years ago, I was getting a nice massage at Bliss followed by an afternoon with Scooter and Betsy (2 of my best friends), and then onto my rehearsal dinner for my wedding! We ate at lovely Italian restaurant down in NJ by Brian's parents where there was a lot of laughs, some tears, and kind of a roast for Brian and me:) None the less, I look back and the party feels like yesterday. All the details, my family, my friends I could relive the moment so well when I just close my eyes. SO fondly, really just such find memories. Today we are gearing up for our move on Tues. this will be Cynthia (my nanny's) last day...and then the new chapter for the Cohen's begins. I hope everyone has a fantastic Labor Day weekend, and you are with people you love. Enjoy the last moments of summer, before you know it we will be carving pumpkins! One love! XOXO BTC

AND SO IT GOES...ANOTHER YEAR OF BLISSFUL MARRIAGE

Brian and I are celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary this weekend. Or rather I should not say "celebrating"b/c we have no plans to do ANYTHING at all, except pack. We kind of forgot the day was happening...and then well, remembered! Crazy to think how fast time goes...2 kids and 18 years later, it's like we were never NOT together. In so many ways if feels like that many years, and in others it does not. I guess that's a good thing. We have had some GREAT times and some NOT so great times, but always end up on both feet, together. I feel lucky to have him, I think he feels lucky to have me and for that I am really grateful. We have 2 beautiful kids together and there's not better thing than when we are all together! It's getting closer to that last weekend of the summer, and everyone's feeling happy and sad at the same time. Schools start, summer is over but it's also a time of new beginnings. Changing of the leaves, Halloween, T-giving and the lovely holiday season. Much love to all today! XOXO BTC

THANK GOD SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER

I am SO ready for sweaters, skinny jeans and boots, great shoes, coats, etc. I am over summer like nobody even can understand...I always hated it anyway, so get on with it! I am ready to see the fall foliage in Jerz, celebrate Thanksgiving and everything else under the sun...I am ready for all of it! What's your favorite season??? XOXO BTC

HOLY HOLE IN A DONUT BATMAN!

That just sounded appropriate b.c I feel like what I am doing, it just complaining. Complaining about everything I have to pack under the freaking sun, complaining complaining, complaining!!! We move a week from tomorrow, and there is still so much left to do. I know it will all get done, that I know but at the moment it just all seems way too overwhelming. I have to worry about changing pediatricians, other dr.s schools, transportation. I could go on and on until the cows come home, but that would just annoy everyone anyway! I have moved so many times as an adult but never has a child; so I am not quite sure how Aiden and Lila are feeling. I want to say I know what it's like but I don't, so just want to make it super exciting for them. There is one person who is having a really hard time with this move, and for what reason I don't really understand! He is not even related to the move, does not live at the house, but yet seems to be the most affected by it; odd as it sounds...I think he thinks that's normal? Which in itself is weird. We all think it's weird but I am certainly not the one to tell him. You know what I say, "not my chair not my problem!" Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely start to the work week...last week of summer (officially when it comes to taking time off), so enjoy it while you can. Before we know it, it is going to be holiday time! XOXO BTC

SOMETIMES A REMINDER IS KEY!

I think sometimes I feel like I lose myself. I lose my creativity, the part of me that made me go into fashion, the more extraordinary part of me, the REAL me. I don't ever want that to happens so sometimes I need to put on an outfit, change my nail polish, really BE me to remind me who I am. That all may sound wacky or even stupid, b/c I seem so sure of myself...and in many ways I am; BUT sometimes you begin blending in with the rest of the world (especially in NYC) and that's just not ok with me. I hope everyone is having a lovely day, it's almost the weekend so everyone can now take a deep breath:) XOXO BTC

SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME...

I can't even understand why I am posting yet AGAIN, 3 times in the same day...but apparently when my husband is away I am way more creative? WHAT WHAT? Anyhoo...I used to be able to put these crazy, amazing outfits together...I would put on a paper bag and look good. So what happened? Did I just age and in my old age do I play it WAY more safe? Do we lose our cool in our old age? Food for thought. XOXO BTC

"WE'RE A MOVING ON UP...TO THE EAST SIDE..."

BUT for real, not moving to the east side we are moving FROM the fucking EAST side! BUT the whole reason for this post is b/c I had an epiphany. It might be a non-sober epiphany but that's gotta count for something, right? I am READY to move to NJ, I am excited to move to NJ...I am (oh my fucking god) can it be, READY to move to NJ? DAAAMMMMMMMN XOXO BTC

THOMAS-COHEN

My name is Thomas Cohen, without the fucking -. BUT it is really amazing to see peoples faces when they meet me...and only know me via email; hence without the face! I mean, there is a LARGE part of me that gets it...in walks the Black girl, but her last name is Cohen (the Jew). HA! It's amazing now you can't even tell anymore, what anyone is...it's actually extremely liberating if you ask me! My kids will no longer be THE ONES who are different like I was, and that's so amazing to think. They will go to school no matter where we live, knowing someone else who is mixed. I could count on one hand, and really out of that hand one of them happens to STILL be one of my best friends. Anyway, it's hump day...going to leave the office a bit early, take Jess (from my office) and sit outside with a COLD glass of wine. I know I deserve it and so does she...WORD UP! XOXO BTC

DELINQUENT!

I am sorry to say I REALLY have been a delinquent on my blog. Just insane...b/c we have made the FOR SURE decision to get the hell outta dodge! NJ here we come! We will be officially moving on Sept. 3rd, but in my head we are already 1/2 way there. I am sad and excited at the same time, I know it was or is the best decision for my kids. NONE the less I think I did mention it, but now it's just painting, and redoing and organizing and all that stuff; on TOP of the business...OH and Brian is away the entire week (conveniently). It's that day again, "Terrible Tuesday" and it is rearing its ugly head like no other, already! I already screamed at someone and it's only 10:40 AM in NYC, ugh not good. We cleaned a fair amount of crap out old pics, old childhood stuff and it's weird to think I am this old...and will be even an year OLDER in about 4 weeks, WTF. Where on earth does the time go? XOXO BTC

MEN AND THEIR PUSSY....CATS?!?!?!?

How do men honestly feel the same way about their woman, post birth. I mean, including my man...he's gotta look at it differently, I mean shit I do! It's a strange question, one I don't even think I can tackle! It's Thursday, hence why my mins is THAT much more creative! Check this out...I could not even make this shit up if I tried, and really this is shit people think but don't DO! HA! XOXO BTC

UM IT'S HAPPENING...GULP

We are officially leaving NYC. Writing that was MAD weird, but if I write it and say it then I know it's true! Amazing to think it's an end of an era but it TOTALLY is. I have not lived in the burbs since 1998, that's INSANITY!! I welcome the challenge and also the fresh air, and for so many reasons it's the best for the kids! I cried and cried and then woke up one day realizing that it's going to be GREAT! Brian asked me what I would miss most and here is what I could not list then (for some reason) but am able to list now: 1.The vibe, the energy the people 2. The ease in which you can go out to eat, drink at a different bar, walk to those places AND top it off with ice cream and it is all right next to each other 3. The cultural diversity (MY FAV PART), I will REALLY miss that moving to the burbs! 4. The food, the drinks, the HOT ass pieces walking past me everyday 5.The fact that we were just far enough from people yet so close Those are my top 5, will come up with an additional list next post:) NIGHTY NIGHT! XOXO BTC

oh

but I will continue to write on here too...of course:)

MAKING A BOLD MOVE... http://www.tumblr.com/blog/shitpeoplethinkbutdontsay/

I AM MOVING TO TUMBLER!! CHECK IT OUT, AND FIND ME THERE...FOR MORE FUCKED UP VIEWS ON HOW I SEE THE WORLD:) http://www.tumblr.com/blog/shitpeoplethinkbutdontsay/ PEACE! XOXO BTC

"SO WON'T THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP, PLEASE STAND UP..."

What is it about shady people, that makes my head want to explode! I think one MAIN reason is I like people to just be upfront about things...and when they are not, it's just plain shady! There are so many people in the world of fashion who just want to get ahead, and in doing that very few do it gracefully. The ones that do I would hope succeed, the ones that do not...I hope don't. I had a client bold face lie to me, literally lie to my face for no reason. To THEN proceed to get caught, b/c I am too well connected to the world of editorial. People talk, it happens and they would really know that. On another note, we have decided to leave NYC. It's a LONG time coming (and even longer if you have been reading this blog for a while:), but we know it's the right decision, hands down. The kids will have a yard, they will walk to school, enjoy the fresh-air and the downtime, etc. We won't have to worry about a ridiculous amount to spend on pre-school, who gets in where and why, etc. It's a BIG step, I have and will continue to cry about it, but have big hopes and big dreams for my girls:) Hope everyone is having a lovely "Terrible Tuesday!" xoxo BTC

THIS TOO SHALL PASS...

There are so many times in someone's life when you have to make the REALLY hard decisions. The ones you know could affect your life forever, and those around you...but in turn they are the better decisions to be made. The hard part is not making it, the hard part is taking the steps to actually go FORWARD with your decision. That is what I am dealing with now, and as clairvoyant as I think I can be...and I do see the light at the end of the tunnel; and believe I will come out of this a stronger person. The question is, can my marriage survive? :) It's Monday but it fucking feels like a "Terrible Tuesday." It's been the WORST fucking day literal start to finish. I can't even tell you the bullshit I have dealt with, and it just keeps on coming. I feel like a circus animal in a zoo...locked in a fucking cage, where someone lost the key! NO joke for real, I do. The mixed high and low emotions I feel like a bipolar disaster, but I am not EVEN bipolar?!?! FUCK this day, HARD! BTC

THE SACRIFICES WE MAKE...

I think one thing that separates those who have kids and don't, is having them is the most selfless thing you will EVER do, literally. It is the most selfless act, it's not at all about you anymore it's all about them; and really when it's right it's the way you want it to be. One of my best friends came up for the weekend, and she decided she and her husband (much older) are not going to have kids. In addition to his age, and hers (she's 38) she is a juvenile diabetic. The risks are incredibly high when carrying children on the mother, that the risks out-way the prospect of having children. It's an incredibly smart decision on her part (I think), and I like knowing she will be around to celebrate the rest of our lives together. The kids spent the night out at Poppy and Grandma's with Brian, while Julie Dana and I spent the night engaging in THE most fun I have had in a VERY long time. We laughed, we cried, we yelled and enjoyed literally every moment while doing it. We still remember the Camp Merriwood beat like we were standing in the dining hall waiting for corn fritters on a Sunday night! It's THE most unique bond, the absolute amazing connection you can only have with certain people...I am thankful for them more than they know. I will continually make my friendships with my girls a priority, they are my lifeline; my SANITY:) I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, Monday is just around the damn corner:) XOXO BTC

Having kids can REALLY suck!

I may get some slack for that, and of course I mean that on a VERY general terms...BUT it's fucking true for me tonight! Brian and I had dinner plans tonight with good friends, and between Aiden's eye pain, Lila temper tantrum...needless to say, we canceled dinner. THEN all the guilt of feeling badly for wanting to go, b/c of course there are bigger problems in the world today! In the end, having kids can really suck...but most of the time it's lovely:) Isn't it amazing that you feel like you can count on people and then BOOM, something happens and you realize they are not as supportive as you thought? That momentary revelation, it's one to reflect on that's for sure. I feel like that rarely happens anymore when you are my age, so when it does it's much more upsetting. I am hoping it's just a momentary lapse of weakness, REALLY hoping. Until tomorrow... XOXO BTC

Time flies when you're having fun...

It's AMAZING for me to think that my youngest is going to be 3 in about 8 weeks. I can't even FATHOM that I won't be having anymore, when I see her little baby face getting bigger:( I CRINGE at the thought of never helping a baby crawl again, or learning how to speak, walk, eat, any of those types of things..which is NUTS b/c having kids is fucking INSANITY! There's a part of me that loves traveling with them now b/c they are so self sufficient in so many ways, and then there's another part of me that just LOVES the baby stage and cannot believe I have reached the point in my life when I am already done having kids. Time really does fly when you're having fun. I am in the office today during my vacation which sucks royally! BUT then as I write that, I think to myself it does not feel weird to be in, AT all! UGH I am so conflicted. Hope everyone has a nice day... XOXO BTC

"SUMMER, SUMMER, SUMMER TIME!"

WELL you know when you think in theory it would be nice to take vacation, but then reality sits in and you realize you own a company and that's not so possible? YEAH well that's where I am at the moment. I have takin a week off really b/c I am required to give it to my nanny and I find myself working most of the time anyway. What's the fucking point might as well be in the damn office! You know Will Smith's song, "summer, summer, summer time...?" Yeah well I hate summer lately, does nothing for me AT all. So today is "Terrible Tuesday" and I am not exempt from the crap even while on technical vacation. It's still a shit storm, I still hate everybody and still am more exhausted than I have ever been in my lifetime. I hope everyone is having a nice week, I am wondering when I am going to really get out of this RUT! XOXO BTC

THE COUNTRY....YOU KNOW SIMILAR TO "GOING OUT EAST BUT WITHOUT ALL THE BULLSHIT!"

So you know that feeling when you have anticipated a weekend with friends/family for WEEKS, even months...and then it finally comes and it's like AAAH!! That's my weekend. We are in "The country" Woodstock/Chichester to be exact and it's literally a slice of heaven. We have been going to be best friends house since as long as I can remember an we are now all going it together...with our kids! It's nothing short of amazing! We will be here for the entire weekend and I cannot even TELL you how much I needed this time with my best friend. LIFE saving really. I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, whatever you might be doing...and that you are doing it with the ones you love! Stay tuned...I am sure I will come around with some sort of drunkin post:) XOXO BTC

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA DUKE IT OUT!

What it is about marriage that makes people fight? I mean it sounds like such an easy question to answer, but really what are the triggers? I am going to go out on lim and say kids, money, jobs OH and the biggest one probably of all family! Sometimes you just got to duke it out, and then move the fuck on. Today Brian and I went AT it..and when I mean went at it, we might as well just had boxing gloves on b/c I wanted to punch him square in the fucking FACE! AND I am sure on many levels he felt the same way. Morning fights are always the worst. They start you entire day off shitty, you can't really think about work when you are at work b/c you are replaying the argument in your head 100 times, going over and over in your mind HOW it got so heated. You want to call them back and fight more and say the things you forgot to say, but in the same breath you want to tell them that you love them, and that you are sorry for being such a bitch. I HATE to fight with him, it's so awkward and annoying...not to mention, I LOATHE fighting in front of the kids, that is THE absolute worse thing to do. I think he had a lot of that growing up so it's just normal for him; I am not a fan. So today is Thurs. having dinner with my sisters, which I am THRILLED about...some me time, girl time and real time all rolled up into one evening. This weekend we are off to the country with my BESTEST friend EVER...and I could use a weekend like that too. Life is so stressful, for EVERYONE and if there are ways for a moment to relieve some of that, then by all means lets do it! XOXO BTC

PUSSSY, PUSSY GALORE! MEOW....RARRRR.

WHAT THE HELL IS IT ABOUT construction workers, that makes them feel they can hoot and holler and well you know, Say my name? What is THAT about? I decided one day to test that theory and really see what was up! I walked down the street (and mind you at some point in my life I was pregnant getting cat calls), I decided to stop and ask them what they thought would happen if and when I stopped; and actually confronted one of these guys. JUST as I suspected, I stopped and I said, "what exactly do you think is going to happen...when you call me out, when I walk by. Do you think I am going to stop, stick my tongue down your throat, take you behind the building and bump and grind? Like seriously WTF. It could not BE more annoying, it's degrading, it's ridiculous no less; and I would love to know if anyone did in fact stop, and continue some sort of relationship with one of those dudes. Anyone? Anyone? Hope everyone's having a great week..it's hump day, things could be worse. XOXO BTC

SAY MY NAME SAY MY NAME...

Why is it that people always try to name drop, when they are not really friends with the person to begin with? It's odd to me that people feel they are able to do that, and that it won't at some point, come back around. Beyonce said it oh so eloquently, "Say my name, say my name..." I work in an industry where everything is based on who you know, and your relationships in the bizz. You need to know all the right people, all the right people need to know you, and really they all have to like you too! How can you utilize your relationships best, so that you get what you need and they get what they need? There is such a specific way to do it, and not everyone is great at it! Just recently a good friend introduced me to one of her good friends, who I liked but certainly did NOT love. It's weird, I can pretty much get along with anyone (on the surface), but I think it helped me realized maybe my friend was not such a good judge of character that she did not see the flaws I see. OR she likes her that way, and there's something wrong with me. It's all so trivial. Today is "Terrible Tuesday" and a friend just delivered some bad news to me. I am so sorry she has to deal with some shit, and it's fitting that it is happening today. XOXO BTC

YOU KNOW THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE WHY YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE? IT'S SO AWKWARD!

You know that exact moment when you realize exactly WHY you don't like someone? It's like DING DING DING DING...and then your mind quiets down for a second, trying to figure out why you could not quite place it before. At least that's what happened to me. There is a family member I really never cared for (but hey it's family you can love them but you don't have to like them), she just irritates me; and really I think she kinda annoys everyone...or at least my friends:) Once you do realize why you don't like that person, then what's next? How do you then deal with it? Me, well I think now every times she talks I am going to be analyzing her. Then I will be judging her b/c she will do THAT thing more often now that I realized THAT is what it is! I hope everyone had a nice weekend, mine was...interesting. Sat shiva, spent time with family, have sick kids. It's kind of a mix of everything...or and of course the normal bout of anxiety with Aid. YIPEE!!! I welcome Monday with really exhausted arms. XOXO BTC

MAKE THAT CHANGE...

Bri and I have to make a pretty big decision, and it's a really hard one to deal with; but apparently I think it's the best one. I want to think that I am big enough to do this, to make certain things better...but I am not sure I am as strong as I think I am. It's a scary move but at some point we will have to just take a leap of faith...and do it! Have you ever had to do something REALLY hard in your life? AND by hard I mean something you DONT want to do, under any circumstance but it's better for all NOW and will be better in the long run. It's Friday and I don't really look forward to the weekends anymore, because the rest of our life is in such flux. I want to believe I can truly find happiness again in our life as a family, but in order to do that I will need to sacrifice some things that are comforts to me. NOT to mention, lately I am like a ticking time bomb and it's not good for anyone, Brian on the other hand is that bomb that's already exploded. I can only keep it together for so long. I am ANGRY at my kids more often than normal, I can't keep me cool at home or in the office, I can't stand my husband most of the time (but I love him very much), and I constantly feel like people just want things from me. On a lighter note... I hope everyone has a lovely weekend! That I did not put a damper on your day with my honesty! HA XOXO BTC

I SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS SHINING THROUGH..I SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU...

Cindy Lauper said it right! The only way you can REALLY be friends with someone, is if you truly know them inside and out. Give it to me straight, I like the real deal people, can't deal with the phonies and want to be just me, when I am with you. You know, true colors...I feel like there have been WAY too many times in my life I tried to be someone I was not, and then all of a sudden woke up and was like I don't like this person; due in part to the fact that the person was clearly NOT me! Had a great time with a dear friend, and am so hung over it's not even funny!It was worth every sip:) XOXO BTC

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE REALLY MADE IT?

Everyone has a different depiction of success. Some define success on a monetary way, some on their happiness; some define it in both ways. I would like to think that I define it in BOTH ways, but lean more towards happiness. I want to believe that I lean more towards happiness anyway. Who wants to be the asshole who thinks or knows they made it, just because they have a lot of money? NOT this girl! BUT really, in America I am sure happiness is defined MORE by monetary means. Clearly that would make the most sense because when you have more money, you can do more things...when you can do more things, you are happier. When you can spend more on things and people that you enjoy...you are happier. BUT then again, putting the emphasis on THINGS is not exactly right either. So that when you DONT have them, you feel, well, less happy. Today is Wed. I have a good friend in visiting from LA and plan to have many a cocks with her tonight! XOXO BTC

"SOME GUYS HAVE ALL THE LUCK..."

Why is it that some people have luck like no other! LIKE something goes down, but then in the end...it always works out. AND when I mean it always works out, like even works out in their favor! WTF is that about, clearly if you could not tell already I am not one of those people. Does it make me a stronger more compassionate person? YES! Does it make me realize how amazing it is when things DO go my way? YES! Does it make me want to strangle the life out of myself sometimes because my luck always does go in the other direction; or I should say in most cases? YES! Some guys (and girls), have all the luck. I want that to change, I want to control my own destiny (if that's even possible). Or do people just say that when good things happen to them in the end, because they feel like they might have had something to do with it? OR rather something good happens and they know they had everything to do with it...so they then say it's just luck. WHATEVER it is, it's not in my party zone so I HATE you people out there that it always happens to! Like for real FUCK YOU! On a lighter note, it's not 100 degrees in NYC so that's good. XOXO BTC

WASH, RINSE, REPEAT...

Sometimes I feel like a washing machine...going around and around and around, sometimes I come out clean. Then at other times I feel like a dirty, wet rag. Sometimes I am wash, rinse, repeat. Sounds lovely right? At one point will I feel like I can go into the dryer? Feel all pressed and ready to go? AND will I ever feel that way? There's always something and there always will be, so does that mean I am destined to be in the washing machine and never in the dryer? So how was everyone's weekend? Does anyone ever have like GREAT weekends anymore? Or does everyone else feel like they go so fast and are packed in with SO much shit, they just become days that you don't have to work? I LOVE spending time with the kids, sometimes my man, and of course my friends..but it goes by so fast I don't really know what to do! How selfish does that sound that I need like this AMAZING weekend for it to count? That's so fucked up! UGH whatever...it's Monday, I am hope with fever; and generally in a bad mood. HOOPA! HA XOXO BTC

I AM LITERALLY SPEECHLESS...

and clearly that's not something that happens often! I am SO proud of our president today, I really, really am. It was such a deeply personal speech, one that was NOT planned, NOT scripted, just from the heart. He gave it to everyone straight, honestly, and went right to the point. I am SO SO SO proud of our President today. EVEN if you are not a democrat, even if you are NOT pro Obama these are just realities in the world today. You can do all the right things, speak well, have money, be THAT person and you can STILL experience racism no matter what. You MUST, MUST, MUST review this link and understand we still live in a very divided world. I hope that my kids and my friends kids can change that notion; and do so in a way that we can at some point, live more harmoniously. OFA.BO/e6SUaT I hope everyone had a GREAT weekend! XOXO BTC

"IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD..."

I think that Mr. Rogers had it all right, and we have it all wrong. Can't every day be beautiful in some way? Even the hard parts of the morning? I don't know if I buy it though, because my mornings are full on SHIT shows; EACH and every day! Rarely do I get up and everything just kind of fall into place. Someone is always screaming, crying, hungry, annoying, etc. I also get my work out in, but it's a challenge to make it happen in a relaxing environment; on TOP of my husband pretty much sleep walking while assisting me with just about everything. So it is really a beautiful day in this neighborhood? HELL NO! So it's Thursday, always my fav. day of the week. It's not Friday yet so I am not worried about the weekend flying by too fast...but it's not Wed. either so the weeks pretty much over. As you get older the weeks and weekends all blend together, the weekends don't really stand out the way that they use to; I don't get that JOY that comes along with having 2 days off. I just get 2 screaming kids, 6 year old birthday parties, car trips to everywhere outside of NYC; OR and the joys of parents wanting you to come see them, b/c they will never come to you! Sounds lovely doesn't it? I had a drink last night with an editor I really like, and we happened to be sitting next to a couple that clearly had just started dating. SHE was a train wreck in the flesh and he clearly just wanted to get some good head, b/c she was a nightmare to listen to if you know what I mean. I think he probably though, if she's blowing me she can't talk at the same time so I am golden! In any event, it was the strangest thing ever watching them "date." They held hand at the table, which I have NEVER done ever with Brian. Not that we are the poster for the best relationship but you feel me? She proceeded to sing versus of songs that she likes at some festival that she went to; AND she had THE worse nose job ever. WHICH is so horrible for me to even say, b/c I would never focus on someone's looks who was not annoying:) Bottom line is it helped seal the deal for me and for my editor friend, who has been seriously dating someone now for about a year. AND for me, just made me realize how much it really sucks to have to date, in NYC. You would think it would be the mecca for hot dates and great people, but really I don't think that's the case. Here's to a GREAT Thursday! XOXO BTC

THE REAL...REAL

WAIT one moment, I am dying right now. There is a new show on FOX called, "The Real" and it's EXACTLY what I have been talking about! It's literally my "come to jesus" moment, it's literally MY BOOK! I sent this to my agent last night, just so she knew the market was alive and kicking!! People really do want to know what goes on, how it goes on and want you to give it to them straight! Makes me happy! So it's Wed. today. I plan to have lunch with one of my besties from HS (she's in NYC for the day), have some cocks, talk about people, and then be happy with the fact that it's hump day! That means the weekend is near (even though all days blur together when you have a business and 2 kids), just sounds better! Have a great day! XOXO BTC

PRINCESSES OF ANOTHER ORIGIN, AND I DON'T MEAN THE BRITISH KIND!

I have come to the conclusion that the new show "Long Island Princesses" is just another version of what it's like to live in areas, better known as the tri-state area. There are "versions" of these girls pretty much everywhere. Some in NYC, some in Long Island, some in NJ, etc. Although there's some variation, they are pretty much all one in the same. I knew a few myself growing up, they maybe just had a little more money but about the same amount of class. Princesses of another origin I would say, and I don't mean the royal kind! What is it about those types of girls that people love to hate? AND why is it that so many of them find each other and then just multiply? HOW do they have friends, husbands, lives when they are just AWFUL all the way around? It's like generation after generation procreating and creating these types over and over again. How do people think less of people, b/c they don't have what they have, they don't have the same amount of money, or the giant house, or the parents with insane jobs; etc. They don't have "summer" houses or private planes, or million dollar apts in NYC. Clearly any smart individual knows all of that stuff makes NO difference in the end. As I get older, and have my own family...and work on installing appropriate values in my children I am working towards making sure my kids DO NOT act that way. That they are clear it's not about WHAT they have it's about WHO they are, and I want them to be good, kind, loving people. That other portion of society need not knock on my door! Here's to a "Terrible Tuesday!" XOXO BTC

RED, WHITE AND BULLLSHIT!

I don't want to be that "angry black woman", and clearly don't want to be depicted as someone who can't understand other peoples views...but this one, this whole entire world has to be SHOCKED by the Trayvon Martin case. I can't imagine being a human being, a mother and a minority that it has not shaken up an entire country. The outcome is really mind boggling, not only did he not get convicted (some may argue not enough evidence) but he did not get charged with ANYTHING at all which is just amazing to me. Today in America it seems like a whole hell of a lot of red, white and bullshit to me! WAIT and can PLEASE discuss how when you said to people race in america does not really matter as much anymore, we have a Black president...I want to say, that SO many people are against for just that one reason. I have 0 tolerance for people who cannot accept people for who they are not what they are; and there are just too many haters out there, still. I want to believe I can hear others opinions and views, but at the same time what if I think their views are STUPID. AND more importantly why don't THEY think their views are stupid? HOW can they in good faith, feel that way? I have a hard time with that, and that's not saying only my views are right...my views are just liberal and yours are not. AND THAT I have a problem with. Can we all just get along? It's weird I feel like race is playing such a larger role in todays society, more so than I have in a long time. I fear for my brother who is a Black man living in this society, I fear for my children who are of mixed race, I fear for myself b/c I am out spoken and Black and well in this world that's forever a problem. I fear for those who are taught to hate, I pray for those who are not. Today is Monday and I am feeling it something fierce, given the climate of the world at this moment. We all need to take a moment and think about what that family has to go through, and any other family who was not served justice. Because in the end you never know, that could be you up there...or someone that you love. BTC

THANK GOD FOR MY FAMILY, AND THE TIME I GET TO SPEND WITHOUT THEM TOO

Everyone needs a moment away from those they love. It's integral for relationships to survive, to take time for yourself and "recharge." I had a great evening with 2 best friends, while the kids and Brian spent the night at his parents; while attending his 20 year high school reunion. We drank, we ate, we chatted, we laughed...we had THE best time! I am thankful for my friends, the rocks I lean on when everyone else defeats me. When I can't breathe anymore and need a moment, when I need advice, love or just someone to REALLY talk to they are my life-line. It's Sunday afternoon and I am working on the final pieces of my book proposal to send along, sitting on my bed writing this, TV on, no kids crying no one calling my name. I have cleaned the entire house, did laundry, washed all the slip covers, all the bedding, cleaned the kids toys and threw crap away. I could go on and on and on...it's amazing what you can do with no kids and no man. I would not change my life for ANYTHING, but it's nice to have a moment to think! I hope everyone had a great weekend, another week is about to begin. Wonder what it's going to be like? :) xoxo BTC

I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH, BUT CAN YOU COME TO ME SO WE CAN SEE EACH?

SERIOUSLY WTF is wrong with people?!?1!?1 WHY do people want to see other people, but only on their terms? When it works for them, where it works for them, and HOW it works for them? You know what I am going to say? I am going to say then really they don't want to see you that badly ANYway! I can't STAND people like that, and unfortunately for me...I know too many girls like that; but ones that I HAVE to be friends (guilt by association) if you know what I mean! I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH, BUT CAN YOU COME TO ME SO THAT WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER? EEEEFFF YOU! Do you have any friends like that? Friends you actually like as people (for the most part) but they just can't go that extra mile? Then you think it's always the strange ones, the ones that don't have THAT many girlfriends to begin with. OR the ones who have weird friends, not the good kind. Listen have I always been the best friend? Maybe not. DO I try my best most times? Yes. I hope that my friends feel like I would and do go that extra mile to be with them, to be friends with them; because relationships take effort on both sides. Well, it's Friday and let tell you it could not come at a better time. I have had one FUCKED up week, and can use about 50 cocks at the moment (as in cocktails), although the former doesn't sound so bad either! HA XOXO BTC

THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?

What is it about people where they feel compelled to ask you if you are going to have a third child, simply because you have 2 of the same sex? Why can't you have the same sex and be satisfied? Just food for thought...for today. I have a brother and have 2 girls, so I feel like I have it all:) XOXO BTC

TRAUMATIZED

Today I feel paralyzed. We had a situation at home yesterday that's left me feeling just not right. I am have such a pit in my belly, that it is hard to concentrate on anything more than, that! My little Aid is stuggling, I want to strangle my nanny and my little one can't stop hitting people...WTF!!! Well today is Wed. and I should feel good about the upcoming weekend. I have no kids, no man, just booze and friends:) I have a free night in NYC to myself AND I am still totally down in the dumps. I feel like Debbie downer today as I write this but you know I lay it all out on the table, so this should be no different. I realized today that at the end of the day, my kids are my TOP priority. They are the ones that make me get up the morning and the ones I think about when I go to bed at night. It's hard to understand that until you have it, it's like I could live without my man (not that I want to but I COULD), but could NOT live without my kids. They are my heart walking around outside my body, and I just can't breathe when something's not right. SAD:( BTC

A MOMENT OF SILENCE PLEASE...AND BY THAT I MEAN A MOMENT OF RECOGNITION

I have to take a moment to talk about how blessed I feel, that I have 2 healthy children. It's just about every day that I hear about another child who is sick, or born compromised in some way; and I have to remember how lucky I am that I am not in that position with my own children. When I say that I don't want anyone to think there is something wrong with having a special child, just the contrary...you are just extraordinary people, that's how I see it. BTC

MEDS FOR KIDS?

This is an entirely new area for me, meds and kids...AND if it is the right or wrong thing to do. My first inclination like everything else in my life, is to say that there is a reason for everything. That if someone needs meds there's nothing wrong with that, and if they don't then that's fine too. I feel like it's there for a reason and if it can help someone feel better about themselves, less anxious, more positive, etc. it's worth a try. I am dealing with that in my own home with my 7 year old daughter, who is shows signs of anxiety. We are of course already in great hands doing cognitive therapy, but at a point where that may be something we look into. I hope she does not read this in 10 years and kill me for talking about, but you know I feel like no subject can really be left unturned. Wondering how many people are going through the same things, and why so many kids today are so anxious? The societal pressures have to be at an all-time high (I would imagine), and all of the technological advancements have to attribute to some of it too. I am holding hope that we can get through this difficult time with Aiden, but more importantly we just want her to feel better. Kinda blue today on a "Terrible Tuesday", hope you are having a better day than me. XOXO BTC

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS IS SOMETIMES LIKE PICKING UP YOUR DOGS SHIT! IT'S A DIRTY JOB, BUT SOMEONE'S GOTTA DO IT!

You know what I mean? It's hard telling people that what they think is possible is not possible. OR to even let them know that some things can't happen, b/c they are not at that stage in their business. I hate to say it, but really managing people's expectations sometimes is like picking up your dogs shit. It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it! I happen to be the person that's GOTTA DO IT! In my case, I would always rather someone be up front re: what's possible, b/c then I don't have any false expectations. This way you have a starting point and focus on the things that ARE possible. I guess that's true for any business relationship...sometimes I love what I do, actually I for the most part always love what I do...but don't always love managing clients, who's expectations are greater than the brands capability. Did everyone have a nice 4th? I did...and now I miss my kids who are home with my nanny, want to kill everyone at work (not anyone who is actually a part of B' squared PR), and loathe the fact that it's 100 degrees in NYC; AND the summer is almost over. Lovely right? XOXO BTC

MY HOROSCOPE SAYS...

HOW many people really believe in astrology? AND if you do believe in it, how much of it really holds true? My horoscope says... I am a firm believer in astrology so much so that it's tattooed on my wrist, but I have not quite decided if I am one that believes in the day to day, or just the bigger picture when it comes to your "sign." I would hope that most of what Susan Miller says is true, and I do find that her monthly prediction are RIGHT on par with what's going on with me...but at the same time, I look to it for the day to day, and that's not always on point. BUT then I think to myself how on earth could it be, not every thing can apply to every one. On a much less philosophical note...I hope everyone had a great 4th. I am so not a summer person, you have to show your body all the time, it's hot and it's like your entire being is swollen. I am for SURE an fall/winter person more than anything else; HOWEVER, I love spending time with friends and family, love BBQ, and I love (buy my body does not) all the summer drinking. Enjoy the rest of your long weekend, and we will chat soon! XOXO BTC PS: My horoscope looks like a GOOD one this month, will let you know how it goes!

EUREKA!

I think to myself, we have this great idea why can't we just get it going?!?!?! It wish it was that easy, I really do. I sometimes think to myself can't I just find someone to execute and I can get the credit for the idea? (as insane as they may sound), I want to delegate what I need people to do and then can't we just do it?? It's Wed. today, and the rest of the week we are closed for the 4th of July holiday. I want to enjoy the weekend I really do...but at the same time, I can't rest when I know I have so much going on at my office! I know I have a job to do, I have demands to meet and I just can't seem to let it go even for a few days. I can't cut myself off and I wish I was that person, SO often! Those people who can really distance themselves from everything and enjoy. I worry, panic, all internally when people would have no idea...mulling over the things that I need to get done. In any event, Happy 4th of July weekend to everyone. I hope you spend it with family or friends (or both), and have some time to enjoy life. At the end of the day, life is short so you gotta make the most of the time you have! XOXO BTC

ELITIST, YEAH THAT'S YOU! EFF YOU!

I am learning something from "Princesses in Long Island", that you CAN judge a a book by it's cover. OYE! Why is it that people feel like they are elitist? Why do they think if they went to Brown vs. Michigan or GW vs. Georgetown makes you a BETTER person, a BIGGER person, a more IMPORTANT person? It's super cool that's that is where you went...as long as you are not a DOUCHE about it! Elitist, yeah that's you! EFF YOU! It's typically YOU that we talk about when you turn around, it's YOU that we always make fun of b/c you think your shit does not stink; and it's DEF. you the guys want to walk away from when they are stuck talking to you at a bar. You are THAT person, and as a girl I can say this...it's always WORSE when it is a girl like that over a dude. Thankfully, I don't have many friends like that but unfortunately there are many people like that in my industry. It's fine, you literally just grin and bare it, try to move on, and then make fun of them when they leave your office. Anyhoo...it's the end of "Terrible Tuesday" THANK THE FUCKING LORD, I am very ready for hump day. AND that also means it's the beginning of a Holiday weekend. Is it weird that I am already anticipating the end of it, and it has yet to begin? Well at least my July horoscope (astrologyzone.com) is KICKIN! Until tomorrow... XOXO BTC

I WANT TO GIVE THE MOST I CAN POSSIBLY GIVE...TO EVERY ONE.

I am just realizing that it is not possible to be everything, to everyone. And as much as you want to give equal time to everything, it's just not even possible! I hate to admit that I do, me out of anyone...because that means I have failed in some way with someone, but it is what it is. I want to give the most I can possibly give...to every one. It is...what it is...on Terrible Tuesday! XOXO BTC

SONG OF STY.....

YOU FILL IN THE BLANKS IF YOU CAN! Why is it that someone with NO unique personality, other than copying some of Miley Cyrus's looks, can have a blog that's so successful; brands turn to her for style advice? I don't want to be a nay-sayer b/c I blog myself and who am I from Adam? BUT I don't claim to be anything that I am not, and I don't get paid (unfortunately) for my opinions; that may or may not suit other people! AND there are so many people that do what that girl does she just happen to market herself better. DO you think that she knows that? Do you think she knows anyone can really duplicate what she is doing and do it probably just as well? I am angry about it for no reason, other than people have been dressing like that for years...you just got it going at the right time, right place. It's July 1st, time for a new month with new fucking problems! XOXO BTC

I AM THANKFUL, I AM FORTUNATE.

I try to tell Brian to stop thinking negatively about the things that he does NOT have, and to start thinking about all the amazing things he has. I feel like if you don't do that at some point in your life, you end up resentful, unfulfilled and miserable. I try to say this at some point, on most days, " I am thankful I am fortunate." When bad things happen to good people and even when bad things happen to bad people you want to take a deep breath for them. I don't wish that on anyone, not ONE single person. I have a friend who is going through some things at the moment, and my mom always says, "God doesn't give us what we can't handle." If you read my blog often, you know that I am pretty atheist. WELL not, NOT believing in some higher power but I am certainly not a religious person. In a weird way, I believe that what my mom says is true; and that truth helps comfort me in some ways, as strange as that may sound for someone like me. There are those people who can really handle unfortunate circumstances and those who cannot, and it is quite clear how strong those people are...when it does happen. Today I want everyone to take a moment and be thankful for what they have, not what they don't have. To take a deep breath and say I will get through this (whatever it may be), and know we all suffer in some way, in life. To a great Monday! XOXO BTC

It's Friday, and I'm gonna get you high today...b/c you aint got no job, and you ain't got shit to do!

I MAY have selected this title in a previous post, but I just love the movie "Friday" WAY to much to not put it up today! This is how I am feeling (sans the no job part) I am just a happy little camper that it's Friday today! I am happy that I don't have to work tomorrow, I am happy that I can drink tonight with friends, I am happy my mom will be watching my kids to have a damn break and I am happy that it's Friday for just SO many reasons! "It's Friday...and I'm gonna get you high today!" What does it say about a person when they are defined by material things? Does it say they don't know any differently or that they just put an emphasis on what they have because it makes them feel better about themselves; more important? I don't miss having those types of friends I really don't. I think as I got older and realized all the bullshit my parents used to call out with my friends was true, that I came to grips with those truths too. They used to try and sit me down and explain to me what kinds of people there were, and why it was not such a nice way to be...but as 15 year old who did not want to be told what to do, I was not hearing it! I am thankful that the things that they did say, sunk in, in so many ways...ways I did not even realize until now. THANK GOD for good parents and good values. I don't blame the people I used to call my friends and would be civil if and when we are all together again, but we don't share the same life, values, goals or anything! I want things for myself, I want to make them for myself I want to work hard for things...and feel like I have EARNED them, was not given them. I was always fortunate to go and do whatever I want, take vacations have pretty things but the values were just never simpatico. ANYHOO, BON weekend to all! XOXO BTC

WTF EVERYONE'S GOT A BLOG...OOPS, INCLUDING ME!

Weird how people never thought of this type of outlet until now...the kind where you can talk about anything (most focus on a subject, I just ramble), but a place you can just BE, SAY, DO what you want. But really, why am I more special than anyone else (I am not), and WTF everyone's got a blog...including me. Why I would think people might be interested in what I say is kinda comical, and I mean...narcassistic? I mean, it's a given that if you are putting stuff out there for the general public you probably feel confident about what you are talking about! NO? Anyway, I am so tired must go to sleep...but could not go to bed without jotting down that one thought. Tomorrow is Friday, and I am going to drink my way through it! XOXO BTC

YODLE LEY HE TATTOOOOOOOOO....

The great question of the day, should I get another tat? To be or not to be, that is the question...well not really, but you know what I mean. It's a big decision and to have them removed is such a pain so you really have to be into what you got going on, on your body! Yodle ley he tattooooooooo Thoughts? Question now is where and what, because my appointment is at 1, DOPE! XOXO BTC

"AND YOU THINK SHE'S JUST A FRIEND...OH BABY YOU, YOU GOT WHAT I NEED..."

I seriously don't think that Biz could have said it ANY better! Why is that some people just don't know how to be a friend, and really when I say that I am talking about girls. I have THE best girlfriends ever...but then I have some "friends" who are just all about themselves; AND self promotion. Why is is that they think we are friends...and that I got what they need? I would like to state for the record, that I am the person who IS in fact friends with some people like this, so I am for sure partly to blame. It's like if I feel this way, then why are we still friends? I can't for the life of my think what that reason might be, but at the same time I am sick of trying to be the one that spearheads the friendship. Why do I schedule the drinks, why do YOU cancel, why do I attempt at having a friendship and yours seems out of convenience? Come to think of it, it's kind of pathetic on my part. In some way, I really enjoy their company and have a great time when we are together! BUT at the same time, if it's more one-sided (b/c of course are always busier than you)...thank FINE! I won't put anymore effort in, but then I think what if I need something from you? CanI turn the tables and use you in some way? CAN I? It's hump day here in NYC, the weather is fucking horrendous and there's no end in sight. I am SO pissed b/c I am supposed to enjoy a day at Matty's pool (Friday), and it does not look like the weather is really going to hold up! I hate the summer in so many ways, but then when I want to do things like that I get upset if the weather is actually bad! OMG this post is all over the damn map, it's like a window into my head! HA XOXO BTC

IT'S YOUR WORLD WE JUST LIVE IN IT...

Brian always uses that saying about people, and to be perfectly honest it's a great one! Why is it that so many people think that the world revolves around them, so they can just come and go as they please...and well, we just need to alter our life to fit theirs? Why is it that it's just your world and we live in it? I would like to think that's NOT the type of person that I am, but then again sometimes you don't really know yourself. I think there's a good indication when you have a group of people, who's general consensus is just that...general. What happens if that person is a good friend or even worse family, how do you live in "Their" world when it always revolve around them? AND how do you tell them, well that they are selfish? And that's just it, it's all about me, what is good for me, what can you do for me, me, me, me, me. And then when you try to tell them it's like that, they act like you are the crazy one! That was just a portion of my weekend, the rest was great:) ANYway, I hope everyone had a good weekend and you know Monday always does have to come around...but that just means Tues, Wed. and then the end of the week comes shortly there after! XOXO BTC

I AM A MOM, EVEN WHEN I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE..

Strange to think that even at times you want to be someone you are not. You want to relieve yourself of those things you are programmed to do, as a mom...so that you can (for a moment), not be that person. BUT in the end, I realized. I am a mom even when I don't want to be. What does that say about me, as a person? OR does it mean when you cross over in that arena that is just the way it's going to be? I think I am finally ok with that, I can still hold my own...but at the end of the day, it's clearly the most important job I have; and the most important boss that I need to be! I hope everyone's having a good weekend...I have been drunk for a very large portion of it! XOXO BTC