THIS IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...

What do you do when a friend (best no less), loses her way? How can you find your way back to her, how can she find her way back to everyone? Well she did just that...and in that moment I felt like it was the 1st day of the rest of her life! It's hard to talk about things that were never easy to discuss to begin with, EVEN when you are present in person and in spirit. One of my BEST friends in the entire world lost her way, and now she is being integrated again into our world and really...she's doing it beautifully! It's hard to think that there was a time when I buried her in my mind and in my life, b/c the idea that she was going to die was extremely possible. I did not want to be one of those people that just hoped and prayed with the notion that things would never turn out positively; it was much easier to realize it was more than likely NOT going to happen. BUT it did, not sure still how it all went down but she came back to us. She cleaned herself up on the inside AND the outside...and I could not be happier, and in all honesty relieved! The issues I can't seem to come to grips with, is the man and the past. I don't know exactly what went down and I am not sure if I have a right to ask. I can't seem to figure that out, can I ask those things? can I GO there? I mean we REALLY went there on Sunday, at a bar and laid right into her...but can I go there again and again and even more? Can I get the full story at least once and then REALLY, truly move one? Can I? I feel like I can, that I can push those boundaries when I need to b/c we are so close. But how does it happen? How does life get SO bad you have to turn to a drug that nearly destroyed you? HOW does that happen? How does someone who has everything make those types of life decisions? A highly educated, smart, joyful, loving person do that? It scares me more than anyone could ever imagine, lord knows I don't want to fuck up my kid so that those are things I would have to deal with later in life too. I mean, someone's got to take some responsibility for it...in addition to THE one person who can control it; and that being "you." I am happy to have her back in my life, in my mind and alive and well. I am thankful to know that we did not give up and just let her be, people who love her went to great lengths so find her and to get her back. The rest is up to her...the sky's the limit! Here's to "Terrible Tuesday!" XOXO BTC

IF MARTHA CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T I?

I just read that Martha Stewart did not publish her first book until she was in her 40's. Interesting to think, if Martha can do it why can't I? I never define my successes by my age, I feel as though that limits you...says you have reached a "limit"...and I can never do that. I think that at each age I need to continue to redefine myself in so many ways, start new things, new projects and hopefully those projects grow larger with each passing year. Do something, make sure it's successful and then more onto the next venture! I love that even though Martha Stewart is now 60+ she really only defined her success in the last 20 years...there's hope for anyone out there, yet! I had the BEST weekend...THE BEST! One of my bestest friends EVER had her wedding shower down in Phili; and it was just what the Dr. ordered. There is nothing like spending a weekend with friends that are literally like sisters, without your men, without your kids, just you. It's amazing how you can literally reconnect and it's as if no time has even past. It's a TRUE friendship right down to the core. You meet each other when you are at the most vulnerable age, when you are stripped down naked as a person and you develop these relationships where you just really love each other; for who you are. I feel so lucky to have SO many best friends (girls and boys) that mean so much to me, and are such a major part of my life. I know a lot of people are not that lucky, and I am just so very thankful! Hope everyone has a great week...the start of a new month! XOXO BTC

WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF BEAUTY?

Such a simple question, but I feel like it's very hard to answer...truthfully! There are so many ways to define a beautiful person, so really how do you define beauty? On the one hand, sometimes our first IN with a person is what they look like. We SEE first, we don't know anything about them, we don't know what they sound like, what type of person they are. Are they kind are they giving? We don't know their life story or the things that they have gone through, we just SEE them for WHAT they are not who they are. Given that definition, and probably a large part of hollywood is that way...is clearly defined by looks. I think it's hard to argue that that's not PART of the full package of beauty, just not the only factor; or rather a SMALL piece of a much larger puzzle. Obviously beauty is not just about the way someone looks, it's what goes on, on the inside. AND funny enough the definition of beauty FOR SURE changes as you get older. No one is looking for anyone's beautiful soul when you are in Mexico, on spring break and want a little action. You are, for lack of a better term on the hunt! I hope in my life now, I am able to recognize people's beauty based on WHO they are not WHAT they are. If they happen to have a pretty face too, ok great...if not, does not matter. It's what goes on, on the inside and how you relate to other human beings that really makes you beautiful. Happy Hump day! XOXO BTC

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE FAIRY TAIL ENDS?

WI am now at the age where people, well...get divorced. I am not sure what's worse...the fact that it's happening to them or the fact that it could potentially happen to ANY of us. NOT to mention, breaking up a pair, breaks up some friendships, groups, etc. What really happens when the fairy tail ends? We all have our issues in our prospective relationships, clearly no one is perfect and the longer you are married the more things occur. You have issues in the relationship and then on top of that you have every day stresses, it ain't as easy as it looks. It seems to me ending the relationship seems like the easy part, it's the affecting of other people that seems the most complicated. I mean think about it statistically, 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce, so clearly "your" group of friends is not exempt from that! That's a scary stat! Plus I love all of my friends husbands, well maybe one I can't stand but really I love them all! I don't know what it would be like to NOT have us all together at functions? What would it be like to have one less link? AND then what if they add a NEW link? UGH it's all so complicated! I would NEVER want ANY of my friends to stay in a relationship when they are unhappy. I would never want them to settle for anything less than happiness. It's impossible for everyone to feel that way about their spouse or significant other ALWAYS...Please Brian annoys the shit out of me DAILY! It's when the daily becomes all the time... Anyway, it's Terrible Tuesday so this seemed like a fitting topic! Hope tomorrow is a better day for all! xoxo BTC

COMING OF AGE...

It's an interesting thing, going to Bar/Bat- Mitzvah at my age. You think back to all the times you went when you were 13, and can't imagine you are attending one as an adult, with your child, and you are closer to the age of the parents than you are to the kids! You are no longer coming of age, you are that age! We spent the day yesterday with Brian's brother's girlfriend...and his kids, for their joined Bar/Bat-Mitzvah. I have to say, we had a GREAT time...and I am SO freaking proud of Aiden, she danced from the second we walked in to the second we left to go home! I am so incredibly proud of her, even when she worried and her anxiety kicked in...she just jumped right into the mix of it all, and threw the EFF down! It's perfectly clear that therapy has really done wonders for Aiden, I am so proud of her efforts, her leap of faith, and the fact that she could believe in herself, in such a way that she could really, fully enjoy herself! YEAH YEAH AIDEN! I hope everyone had a good weekend, and has a great week...beautiful day today in NYC, lets start making the most of what we have! XOXO BTC

April 15th, 2013

Thoughts and prayers go out to those injured and/or affected, by the horrific events in Boston today...

COLORS LIKE A RAINBOW...

Why is it that everyone feels as thought they are affiliated with a certain group? Why can't we all be friends? Why can't we all get along? Why can't we be like colors of a rainbow and...I don't know, Mix? I don't know exactly which group I belong to? I have friends of all different cultures, religions, etc. I don't feel more comfortable with any of them than others; probably why they ARE my best friends. I never went to a camp or a school that was more of one only (a race a religion; never paid attention to color or religion at all to be perfectly honest unless the conversation was about me. I know that this would infuriate some b/c they DID identify with a group and can't quite understand why I didn't. BUT the truth of the matter is I don't know if I would have ever wanted to be just ONE thing. At a young age I had trouble identifying with people b/c there were not a lot of kids like me; and at times wanted to be just ONE thing. Sometimes it just looked easier to be White and Jewish or White and Catholic or Black and Catholic, etc. I always was taught to look at people for WHO they are never what they are. I don't want my kids to feel like they would HAVE to choose one religion or one culture to identify with, I would hope they would have the ability to be a part of it all. Question is, can others accept them that way? I am not so sure. When will we live in a time when everyone can just mix together? Schools, camps, towns, etc. Now it IS such a different time than when I was growing up. There are SO many mixed couples, religions, races, I can't even imagine what it was like for my parents. God BLESS them for taking such a huge leap, at such a crazy time. I have NO business ever making comments about how hard it can be, they did it in the 60's and 70's! I don't know...I get infuriated sometimes when people say they are so wrapped up in their religion, probably due in part to the fact that I don't really understand why they are; not always a good thing either. I can't think it's BAD that they do these things, it's a part of who they are...I am just happy it's not a part of who I am. Food for thought...have a lovely weekend! XOXO BTC

HOW MUCH, HOW MUCH HOW MUCH...

Now that I am older, am a mom, etc. I am learning all the new "rates" that are appropriate in this day in age. In other words, I am learning how much money kids make, today! So, I need to know the going rates of things like the tooth fairy, what to give kids for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah's, their communions, shit like that. How much allowance is the norm, what's too little what's too much?1?!? How much to give kids at their sweet sixteen or graduation, it's all new to me. Who do I ask? Will they know what's appropriate? Will I seem cheap? UGH it NEVER ends! XOXO BTC

WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK....

Sometimes I think I need to adopt some sort of coping mechanism while I am at my office. SO many things makes me nuts, that I can't even think straight...and just want to say my always famous words, "I HATE EVERYONE!!" I have to think of another version of whistling while I work! What is it about a bad day that makes the entire week seem like total crap! I feel as though it defines how the rest of the week will be, even if you have fun things going on. One day can throw me totally off! AND I wonder why Aiden feels that way? She has one bad day at school and I swear the entire month is defined by it; but in turn she must get that from me?!?!? Anyhoo...not really in the mood to write, simply here to vent today. Don't call me, I'll call you! XOXO BTC

FUCK YOU AND YOUR ONE LINER EMAILS..

WHAT is it about a person that thinks it's ok to fire off one liner emails? I mean clearly we are not sitting in the same room together, so I have no idea how your day is going, what kind of mood you are in, etc. so how would I know if it's just a one liner email with no negative connotation, OR there IS a negative conation to what goes on? WHY send a one liner email when there is so much more to be said? It's always the SAME people, the SAME situations and the SAME responses. It is always the same bullshit, the same crass thoughts, in the SAME exact way. I am sure there's a part of me that comes off a certain way over email, HOWEVER I think when I do that, that person deserves my shit! NOT just a return email regarding things that I need bigger answers to, not just a response that requires more than your lame ass response. There are so many pet peeves surrounded what I do for a living, but this is by FAR one of the biggest ones! So if you are reading this, and you do that...do yourself a favor and STOP! I hope everyone is having a better day than me, better week, better year, better ANYTHING at this point!! FOR REALS this day BLOWS! XOXO BTC

I AM GOING TO START A BRAND...JUST BECAUSE I CAN!

There are so many times in a day I would LOVE to start my own brand; for the simple fact that I could market the shit out of it! Everything I have ever done I could A. do for myself and B. do it better than I do for my clients who can't and don't do the things I ask. The question is why pay me, if you are not going to listen? SO...I am going to start a brand, just because I can! If you are such an expert, why do you need me? If you won't do the things I ask you to do, the things I NEED you to do then what's the point? What's the point is asking for things if you can't help me make those things happen. It takes a village to raise a kid, it takes a fucking CITY to build a brand! Don't people realize that if I could take all the hours in a day that I focus on them and focus on something else for myself, I would be A LOT richer and as it stands...probably a lot happier too! So really, I am going to start a brand. Mark my words, I will build something, at some point for myself..oh and Beth O too:) Those are my very brief but VERY important thoughts! XOXO BTC

THE MAN NOT THE WOMAN

WHY is it that I gravitate towards the men, over the women? And I am not saying in a sexual way AT all...just in a friendly way. Why is it the man, and not the woman? So last night we spent the night at one of my best friends houses, and ended up meeting a couple (with them of course) for dinner. The evening was lovely, good food, good wine, good company...and considering this is a "new" couple they have become friends with and we are an old couple that they have been friends, we were bound to integrate quite nicely; NOT to mention that Brian and I are the type of couple that can pretty much get along with anyone. We don't say crass things, we don't pick fights, we don't bring up politics or voice our opinions strongly on things we know could turn into an argument! BUT the reason I am saying all of this, is because for some reason (and this is always when I meet a new couple), I tend to think the men are WAY cooler than their women! The men don't grill you, or care what you are wearing, not typically interested in where I live, or where I grew up; where I went to college or what kind of car I drive...they just kinda chill and chat with you! The women on the other hand are OBSESSED with the answers to the above questions. I feel kinda like I am walking into job interview for AT LEAST the first 20 minutes. AND then at the end of the questions, you have to find conversation that does not include any of those topics. NOW that's some hard shit when you don't really care what they have to say, and are really more interested in what the guys are talking about. I have always been a guys girl, I say that bearing in mind I have a lot of my same friends from childhood...but also have that same thing with my guy friends. I love that I have both, and love both equally for sure, probably part of the reason when I can't really relate to the women (I work, I own a company, I am business oriented, I don't stay home with the kids, I like to booze, on and on and on...) is why I can RELATE to men better. It's an interesting thing I am really just now realizing, or rather I should say putting on paper. Would be nice to find some more professional women, married to great men...would have a SHIT more to chat about! Hope everyone had a lovely weekend...back to the grind! XOXO BTC

I NEED A GOOD OLD SLAP ACROSS THE FACE!

Not sure who I want to slap me, but know that it's GOT to be done! I am feeling super sorry for myself this evening...after the post the other day, about being thankful for what you HAVE not what you DONT have! Why do the tables turn daily? Doesn't everyone need a good old fashion slap in the face at some point? I want the best for my girls, always, forever! I mean I want the same thing for my man, but my girls are the reason I breathe, work, want more, do more, start new things, work so hard...I want them to have all the things that I had and more, I want them to know what hard work means; and that there's a return on every investment. I want them to thrive in an rich environment, with good people, different types of people. I want them to be disappointed so that they know what it feels like to be let down, to then have to build themselves back up. I want all of those things for my girls. I want to be a good parent, a good wife, a great friend. I want to make the impossible possible, or rather I don't want them to think that ANYTHING is impossible...that it's all possible, if you work hard enough. You can have, be, do anything that you want. On a lighter note, I think I may have poured myself an overly large glass of vodka this evening:) XOXO BTC

GIRL TIME

I cannot WAIT to spend time with Aid later...we are going to therapy and then getting our nails done!! I am a mom first and her friend 2nd for sure, but it is so awesome to know you have a built in best friend; or friends if I include Lila (we will eventually have that relationship too:)...I feel so lucky today, I really do! Sometimes you lose sight of what's important, and have to remind yourself it's not WHAT you NEED it's what you HAVE that's important! And I have everything I need, right here. Without my kids and my husband I am really nobody. I am not complete, I am just a crappier version of me! We toy with the idea of having another baby but really, I feel like our family unit is complete the way that it is; and I don't want to tempt fate trying for another one...when I know that's not 100% what Brian wants anyway! There is that part of me that wants more so there are MORE family members, but then I think to myself I don't want the two I have to get lost either...and they are so close, I want to force them together...forever:) Here's a cute pic of Aiden, Lila and Aiden's best friend Liv! Too cute to not post. Here's to "hump" day...the weekend is closer than we think! XOXO BTC

IS THAT YOU DAN JOHNSON? IT'S ME YOUR FRIENDLY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR!

So, I have this neighbor named Dan Johnson. He HAS to be the oddest person on the face of this planet. The question is, when you live in NYC are those things that you can overlook? Or should you deal with those types of "issues" head on? To be or not to be neighborly...that is the question. I have heard it all, the yelling, the horrific singing that literally sounds like a dying cow while doing what's that thing called? PX 90? The screwing, the laughing, the evening when he has that ONE friend over for a game (oh right failed to mention he does not have much of a social life!). And why I know that, I mean...hello I am 37, with 2 kids, running a business and the same man for 17 years I don't have much of one either. None the less, I honestly wish he would go out more! I have heard the phones calls to home (from down south), the SCREAMS of pleasure when "his team" wins...I could go on and on and on! BUT instead I will spare you. I know when he comes home, when he goes out...and don't think he even holds a steady job, or rather works from home? Oh I know he's a lawyer? Yeah a lawyer. He signed his lease in June June 2010 to be exact b/c the previous woman who lived there DIED in the apt at age 98. He took the liberty of banging on my wall one night that lila was crying..when she was a fucking NEWBORN! Naturally, I banged back on the wall. Oh did I mention he's like a full on 6'5, scarier than it sounds and looks worse than you can imagine. That's A LOT of height for a not so cute person. He was clearly the one that got the height not the looks (oye that's bad), but hey it's shit people think but don't say, right? Is that you Dan Johnson? It's me your next door neighbor. Oh and by the way, I would like you to FUCK OFF AND MOVE OUT! Happy Monday! XOXO BTC