STUPID ASSHOLE

There are SO many times that I to tell people shut it...BUT even more aggressively shut the fuck up! It's terrible that I feel that way, but I do. I often think to myself do you know how much you annoy me? YUP this is my Monday, CHEERS! BTC

SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID

I have a BIG mouth, and not the kind that divulges secrets...the kind that sometimes says the whole truth, nothing but the truth so help me god. The kind that sometimes hurts people's feelings, the kind that some people really value b/c they know EXACTLY what they are going to get. BUT sometimes you have to just keep quiet even when you don't want to. Times when you know that things could just blow up SO big, that it would be impossible to take things back. Things would be said that could and would lead to other things, and none of which would be a good thing. There is that part of you that thinks if you can get it all out, things would be repaired; but then reality sets in and you realize you would not be in this position in the first place, if you were able to communicate. Life is hard. BTC

A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU, TO ME, YES YOU!

That is how I feel about this very uneventful past week, which just happened to be my birthday! It's like another year has passed, and here we are! ONE thing that's different is that things have changed from this time last year, and for that I am really happy! It's strange you get older and you want to celebrate it less, yet you still want to spend that night with your friends. This year I chose to do almost nothing. I had an impromptu evening with some of my best friends..but really that was it! The highlight of the night was just spending time with people that I love...and who love me JUST the way I am! It's funny how birthdays signify times in your life when you either had GREAT ones or ones that totally sucked! LIKE I remember my 17th birthday so clearly...that I EVEN remember what I wore! Come to think of it I want to bring flight jackets back in fashion. I looked pretty damn good in that coat. It is Friday and I work from home today, it's nice I can get things done I don't normally have time for!! I hope everyone has a lovely weekend...XOXO BTC

"AND THE BEAT GOES DA DA DA DA DA...YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF..."

You ever feel like you can't quite figure out where you belong? Or who you are? OR rather you know who you are with certain people but others completely just question that for you? Maybe I am not making sense. Have you ever been with a group of people that you "like" but don't really "know", and then leave and realize you are nothing like them, you stand out like a sore thumb and you would never in a million years hang out with them if you did not have to? YEAH those types? I recently had that type of encounter. I think the funny part is, I can really talk to anyone. Even people who suck! SO it's really hard for people to see how bored I get with a conversation b/c I can fake the shit out of my expression. BUT really all I am thinking is this person SUCKS SO BAD, and there is nothing in the world I would rather be doing than NOT talking to YOU! Or when you feel like they feel they are elitist in some way, over you until they find out where you live, what you do for a living and how you spend your fucking money? YEAH those types. I hate all of you out there like that, and I hate you more for allowing you to make me feel this way. There are so many of you it's like a pack of wolves. Every town, every city, every situation that when you find people who are NOT like that, you are so relieved. I actually cried in the car with my husband and said I just don't ever feel like I fit it; or I really only feel like I fit in with my REAL, TRUE friends! UGH what a fucking nightmare. ANYWAY, it's hump day...and that's always better than Terrible Tuesday, and Terrible Tuesday it was! Sorry I have been slacking, I seriously don't know which end is up. XOXO BTC

ALL SYSTEMS A GO...

I mean, it's time...it is the time to sell the book. It is finally here, and I can only tell you that I am crapping a brick with the idea that this would even happen; let alone be remotely successful. I was thinking about this on the bus today, and the fact that I would literally talk to anyone about any thing! Now that's strange but does set up nicely for the book. It's Thurs. and I am feeling a bit better about the fact that the weekend is approaching, and that I am spending the night at Dana's with Aiden tomorrow. I could use some girl time, just what the dr. ordered. Off to lunch with one of my fav. editors...and that list of favs is getting smaller and smaller:) XOXO BTC

WE HAVE ARRIVED...

What does it mean when your kid who is normally anxious, runs up to all of her friends at the town party? What does it mean when your man talks to EVERYONE who will listen, and skips back and forth to work every day? What does it mean when your almost 3 year old wakes up and wants to go to school RIGHT away? What does it mean you ask? It means we made the right decision to leave the crazy world of NYC! Happy hump day! xoxo BTC

GARDENING SEEMS LIKE A NICE PAST-TIME!

What is it about my industry that sometimes makes people want to jump right into ANOTHER industry? It's the pedi bullshit, the cattiness, the momentary lapse of reason b/c someone wore your shirt, the higher than thou attitude, the I am the newest, latest greatest thing! Why is it that fame and recognition can really bring out the worst in people? How do we "make" people the "IT" people? AND is there a way to do it that's less obnoxious? Will the forever trend stars making their rise, in some weird-ass way change? Will there always be such strife to be the IT girl or the IT guy, made sometimes but just wearing a pair of pants a certain way? When will that end? When do the real fashion people come back; and how do we learn that even if you have access to all things at a young age, does not necessarily mean you SHOULD have them! I am feeling very introspective today...taking a look at the inside of me and the outside of others. It's "Terrible Tuesday" and I am not feeling very HAPPY today, or rather feeling more "lets see what goes on with the world." In otherwise I think I just need a really good COCKTAIL! XOXO BTC

A WHOLE NEW WORLD....

It's Monday again (like it is after every weekend), but for some reason this week feels different. Less chaotic (For the moment) and a little more organized. It's a good feeling, and I hope to be getting into a little groove, in the commuting!! WOWZA being a burbanite. HOWEVER, I am still a NYC gal at heart! I am excited to be out on Thurs. night...so I still have it in me:) Yesterday was AWESOME, spent the day with the Vecharelli's and had a blast!! So nice to be close to one of my besties and to know the kids will always be friends. Now it's just work work work away, AND book book book away!! Hope everyone has a great Monday, if that's even possible! XOXO BTC

IT'S THE WEEKEND IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE?

I guess people go in and out of the city weekly, to get THAT feeling on the weekend. The feeling of waking up to birds, nature sounds, etc. The things you CANT get in NYC...the idea that you can wake up, be loud and you don't have to worry about waking up your neighbors, is really quite amazing! It's our first REAL Sat. in the burbs, where I don't have to unpack, get bins, organize, etc. I just get to starve myself for the Holiday,(yipee). Clearly we know that I am not a religious person, and I think the fact that you have to starve yourself for a day to repent, is beyond fucking ridic. BUT I do it b/c I love my family and love his family. What is everyone else doing for the weekend? I hope eating:) OH why is it that people can ask me for things day in and day out, but when I ask for favors from my friends...it's like pulling teeth? XOXO BTC

ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER DOLLAR...

So she completed her first day of nursery school (Lila), and she would not pee, missed her mom and cried during rest time, but still wants to go back tomorrow!That's progress right? :) ME on the other hand, I was a nervous WRECK! I could not even speak I was so worried when my mom downloaded me; but then again it was my MOM who picked her up...it made it ok!! I am not cut out for this shit, hence why having more kids is not even REMOTELY an option! So how was everyone else's day? Someone's gotta comment on all shit I spill, like a bout of dia! WELL TGIF it's fucking Friday tomorrow, and I could not need it more. Then again it's the damn holiday (Yom Kippor) which by the way is SUCH a bore:) Fasting and shit...it's the WORST! Until tomorrow... XOXO BTC

12 YEARS AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY

I CAN'T end the evening without saying some sort of prayer for all of the people that lost their lives, 12 years ago today.

AND SO IT GOES...

Little Lila James starts her first day of nursery school tomorrow, and I am buggin a little; not gonna lie! It's a long day, 5 days a week and I am slightly FREAKED out:) I know she's totally ready for it, and will be more than fine...but I also can't believe it's that time in my life. That after her, there are no more babies. No more kids. No more pregnancies. NADA. AND Brian can't come with me to drop her off, to boot which kinda makes my head want to explode. Is that totally fucked up? I know I should understand that he works for someone but if he can be flexible sometimes, why can't he be flexible with this? In any event, I am REALLY happy and a little sad too. I just need to get through this ONE last transition and then I have ENOUGH change to last me a lifetime! NIGHTY NIGHT! XOXO BTC

"YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT..."

I mean NO ONE says is better than Mick, it's clear that life is not what you plan it to be. There are curve balls left and right and they always say when you go through it you come out stronger...well I am going through it a little, so I assume I will be THE FUCKING HULK when I am done!!

MAINTAING MY SANITY IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT!

FUNNY ENOUGH...the actual move was WAY easier than keeping my sanity! I think the actual move and being in the burbs was actually quite easy...it's all the other shit that's hard! I think family disfunction is hard, and seeing more of it is never an inviting feeling. ALL of it makes me feel like it's a bit of a SHIT storm! I think I Am going to take a bath tonight, that might help for the time being. Is this was commuting it like? I sound like a crazy person in this post but my mind is just RACING! There is one family member that is BEYOND whacked (and I mean that b/c it's a general consensus)! Just makes things harder for everyone..family, friends, etc. I wonder at times do they know that everyone feels that way about them? Or are they too self involved to think that it may be someone else? It's like staging an intervention. You ponder in your mind if you think it's worth even conversing about it, and then you think NAH too much of a headache...much better for him to live in his own misery:) OYE..."oh what a night...DAY, WEEK, MONTH, YEAR!!" XOXO BTC

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN...

SO sorry for being MIA, we moved yesterday and needless to say...my head is WAY up my ASS!! I have not even attempted to get use to the fact that we actually moved, because I am still in the process of getting everything together!! THAT will be the real challenge! Half the battle is kinda done, Aiden started her new school (WOWIE) and we are here so that is all well and good. Next week little Lila starts next week, her first nursery school experience and I don't know...everyone feels a little lighter:) I hope everyone had a lovely Labor Day, Brian and I celebrated our anniversary with some REALLY strong MARGS! Way to go out of NYC with a BANG...and funny enough, I can't wait to go in for dinner and then turn around and drive my NYC ass back to the burbs! WHO the hell would have thought it!?!?!? What day is it today? I don't even know. XOXO BTC