CH CH CHANGES...IN THE SKIN THAT IS...

I remember sitting in my dermatologist's office when I was pregnant with Aiden thinking, why are there darker spots on my body, face and then some? Why do my nails have little dark lines on them? And more importantly when did this happen if I am just noticing it now? DId I have these before I was pregnant? And if not, how do I get rid of yet another disgusting part of pregnancy!!!

Changes in your skin are normal ESPECIALLY when you have darker skin. Of course something else that I did not know when going into all of this; HAD I known I would not have felt like a total leper! I kept asking is there anything to be done? And if so would it be harmful for the baby? The first thing that I did when I saw the dark lines on my nails was google it (SO DUMB) and found that it can mean that you have some form of cancer. So, there I was super pregnant about to give birth and diagnosing myself with cancer. I called the dr. right away, paid him a visit only to realize that these changes are in fact, normal. He suggested I wait until after the baby is born and then see if the lines disappear. Well, he was right...a couple of months after she was born they did just that...disappeared. Had someone told me that these things MIGHT happen, it would have been nice.

Sometimes the changes that do in fact occur you are more privy to based on your race and genetics, i.e. skin changes, stretch marks, etc. Now that I am going through it again, I know the signs and signals to look out for, when it comes to changes such as these. If I don't tell you who else will? I'm just saying...

We have a little visitor here at B' squared today...Pigtails and all!

ENJOY your weekend, I know I will...almost at the end of this journey and VERY ready to begin the next phase!!


XOXO
BTC

"MAMA, WHEN THE BABY COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH..."

How on earth do you explain to your 3 year old daughter where the next baby is going to come from? As in, where does it come out of your body and how? According to to Aiden, the baby will be coming out of my mouth!

I have to admit that's pretty smart of her to at least realize that it will be coming out of A hole, just not THAT hole! I was very close to telling her the whole truth, nothing but the truth so help me God...BUT my mom advised me against it. Now that I think about it a bit more I would probably have traumatized her at much to early of an age. I want her to love her vagina NOT hate it! She would see me puke and figure things from your stomach come out of your mouth. Logical for sure!

How do you enter into this new phase in your life and new person in your family, positively? I have no f___g idea. You read all of these things what to say and do, so that your child does not freak out when the little addition arrives. Is it possible that you can over prepare? How often should you talk to your child about it? AND how do you prepare your husband for another arrival too? Can you really be prepared??? I have to be honest I am more worried about preparing my husband for the new addition, than I am Aiden. He finally admitted that he is much more nervous this time around than he was like last time! I said, naturally...because he knows exactly what's about to go down! How on earth can I manage his feelings when I can't even manage my own!?!?! Apparently, the person that is actually going to give birth people worry about the least. Where's my T-shirt that says, "Babies Mama Again?"

Now that I have entered the 3rd trimester there's no turning back now. Unlike the 1st time around you think about preparations much later. I have not done one thing for this child, NOT one! I am assuming at some point someone will do it for me, but who is that someone? Obviously an unrealistic expectation. It's all such a blessing but at the same time completely terrifying. I don't have time like I did last time to ponder and relax and wonder...I just have time to do! Everything is getting increasingly more difficult, walking, exercising, traveling back and forth to work, getting up (when you are down) getting dressed, showering, dressing Aiden, bathing her...I could go on and on and on...NOT to mention this oppressing heat, it's just BEYOND normal!!!

UGH HAPPY HUMP DAY!

BTC

MEN WILL BE BOYS...OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...

I learned something while pregnant the first time, that's just now being reinforced for a second time...Men (straight or gay) say really dumb things to pregnant women. I am not sure if it's just because the notion of pregnancy is so foreign to them or because they are just plain stupid. It may, realistically, be the a little bit of both.

When men say things like," Better you than me" about being pregnant, I often say there is a reason men are not the ones that do this...bottom line is they are pussy's and we are not. My all time favorite thing that is often said is, "OMG your belly is HUGE!" OK fucker, well you see...I have a baby in there, and it grows exponentially by the moment, so yeah my belly IS huge. Remember your mama carried you around for 9 months or you would not even be here; need I remind them that? I think the ones that are more sensitive of course are the ones who have wives that have gone through it. I think the ones who are the least sensitive are the ones that have not experienced it second hand. In any event, it's a total shit show.

How do you deal with these types of situations? Here is one of my suggestions:

IDIOT-"Hi Beth it's so good to see you..OMG your belly is HUGE, no Beth your belly is HUGE" (like I did not hear it the first time mind you)
BTC-"Um thanks so much for pointing that out, not really...kinda where I should be for this point in my pregnancy!"
IDIOT-"Really? I don't know...where you that big during your first pregnancy?"
BTC-"I am so flattered that you remember what I was like last time, given you are a gay, single man"

At least "we" women don't have to worry about sweaty balls and baby powder!

GOD is it Friday yet? I am so needing it to be, besides being BEYOND exhausted I just don't feel like looking at anyone's face for a couple of days...including my own!

CIAO FOR NOW!
More to come kids, more to come...
XO
BTC

WHO TO "EDIT" OUT OF THE DELIVERY ROOM, AND THEN SOME...

Here's a topic that can be a bit stressful when it comes to actually delivering the baby...Who should be IN the birthing room with you? IF anyone other than your mate!

I for one am a less is more kinda girl. I think the less stress you feel in this situation, the better off you are! I don't think it should be like picking teams for kickball in 4th grade (as in feelings get hurt if you are not picked) but more importantly what feels right for you and your partner. It's one of those situations where you can just be selfish!

How do you determine who you will want in there? It's totally individual and everyone is different, but I did not want to worry about anyone else, at all, but me! I had Brian in the room, along with my brother (prior to pushing); and had my mom and in-laws float in and out. I think at first for some reason some people thought it would be ok to invite the entire tri-state area to the birth, I on the other hand had a different plan.

The other MAJOR issue you may encounter is who do you want to visit you while you are in the hospital, post birth? Mind you, you will feel and look disgusting, you will be freaked out because you just had an alien come out of your body, you don't know how to do anything really well yet, and you are now STILL fat! On the other hand my best friend Dana could have cared less...she had all of her immediate family and then her parents best friends and us. I give her MAD props because I would have literally lost my shit!

Make sure you think about these things BEFORE you go in so that it is not a shock to anyone. You will want to know who's in and who's out...so that your husband can delegate and deliver the news accordingly. Also make sure and have list of people you want him to reach out to (at least the first time around) this time around I will just email from my own computer I am sure...but this way, you will get the word out to everyone that you are having that baby!

Bottom line is, don't worry about hurting other people's feelings. If there feelings do get hurt, they are kind of idiots anyway! It's not about them, it's about you and your husband/Partner/friend. It can be a pleasant experience or it can really suck, so just make sure you surround yourself with those who create a zen like experience!

XOXO
BTC

THE FUZZY ORANGE DRINK...

At about 6 months you will take what is called the gestational diabetes test. You will take it sometime between week 24 and 28, and it's so not fun! If you fail the test you will take the same test, in a bigger way. During my first pregnancy I think I MAY have read about this online, otherwise you don't even know that you have to take it...until about a month before.

So here's the real deal.

Ask to take home the Fuzzy orange drink (used to test gestational diabetes) at your monthly appointment A MONTH before your diabetes test; IF your dr. allows. This way you can take it home an put it in the refrigerator to drink when the time comes. It tastes like fizzless, really sugary orange soda. Some people LOVE it I for one do not. It's like drinking orange cola without the fizz! Drinking it warm seriously you might gag...if not puke! Your dr. will probably NOT tell you to fast, but to drink it one hour before you need to take your blood test; and once you drink it do not drink or eat ANYTHING, within that hour. I am telling you this because a TON of people eat bacon egg and cheese on a roll, then wash it down with the drink, then don't eat for an hour and fail the damn test! SO seriously, other than like water my suggestion is to fast beginning the night before, just to be safe! I (as you know) am not a dr. so of course check all of this with your OBGYN, but again I often hear those horror stories about people who eat a bagel and some coffee with sugar, take the test and fail because they ate sugar so close to drinking the drink! Why on earth the dr. does not tell you all of this, is BEYOND ME! OH and add a work out the morning of, that's always helpful too:)

IF you do not pass you will then need to take a 3 hour gestational diabetes test, where they DO tell you to fast from the evening before; and will have to drink 3 containers of a GREEN sugary drink, while they take blood 3 times in-between. Yes it is as lovely as it sounds!

I felt compelled to do a quick write up on this because A. it's an important test, but B. more importantly because I had no f__g clue I had to take it until month 5, and as you know I like to be prepared!

More to come kids, more to come...
XOXO
BTC

F___G GENIUS!!!

THE GREAT DIVIDE

I think one of the hardest things to deal with (on both sides) is balancing friendships with people who have kids and are married, and ones that do not. I feel extremely fortunate to have such an amazing support system on both ends of the spectrum, but know that there is a fundamental difference that cannot be ignored. I guess I am more emotional about it while pregnant, because I realize the spectrum is going to be that much greater, than even with just one child.

I find that my best girlfriends understand the great divide. I also think that some people want to pretend like it is not there because it is not the easiest thing to deal with...I have a handful of close girl and guy friends on both sides, and find it very easy to balance at times, and others not so much. It's hard to make some people understand that balancing all of it at one time, is quite challenging...that no longer worrying about just yourself can be exhausting; BUT yet I choose that life. At the same time, we need to make efforts to understand that those who have not or don't experience what we do find it hard to understand why we are not available like we use to be. The easiest friendships and the best relationships are the ones that can hurdle even obstacles such as this.

I take for example my friendship with one of my closest girlfriends, Lindsay (not married and does not have children yet...). I am constantly amazed at how easy she is...whether it is moving plans because my fat pregnant ass just can't take it, or I have a work conflict, Aiden's sick, Brian needs me to be home...whatever it is, she gets it!!! I think the fact that she has a sister, with 2 kids does help...but I also think she is just a wonderful person with whom I value tremendously. I love the friends that make it all easy, the ones that don't get mad when you need to change a plan, the ones that love you unconditionally even when months go by, and you have not seen each other...those are the best kind of friendships! AND it works both ways...I love when Lindsay says, "B I would love to see you on Sat. AM but I am going to be THE most hungover in my entire life, can we make it another day?" I love that she says that and love that I say, "AH hell yeah...wish I was too!"

In any event, we are now at the age where some of those relationships and friendships will change...so send loving vibes to everyone around you, and know that on both sides it's hard to get it all together. We don't live the life we did at 25 when we can go and do as we please...and if you do still live that life please know that we are super jealous you can do anything you want at anytime. Such is life...such is life...

XOXO
BTC

THE UPPER...AND I AM NOT REFERRING TO A PILL...

The "One Upper" is a term I like to call people who always have a BETTER story, a BETTER something to say when you are telling them something. The person that always HAD that experience, the one who always knows someone that has had that something you are talking about; yeah THOSE peeps! You can take this term and apply it to everyday life. I don't think these people just come around soley when pregnant, BUT I do know that when it comes to mom's with kids...the "One Upper" is SO much worse.

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend, family member, friend of a friend, etc. and you are telling them a story, let's say about your kid...and the next thing you know they are telling you something about their kid? Now, there are OK times to talk about your kid, have your friends talk about their kids, etc. I am not referring to those types of conversations, I am talking about the times when you say one thing they say another. Case in point, "Aiden is learning to swim and it's so funny every time she jumps in she comes to the surface and looks" (nameless person)...OH WAIT, that happens to ___. She always jumps in and blab blah blah (that's me tuning out). Here's another example, "UGH I can hardly stand when I get up in the morning and have to roll myself out of my bed..." (nameless person)...OMG me too, I can't even...blah blah blah, (me_, "Right and then when I am in the shower, rushing trying to get myself dressed to make it to the dr. on time, oh my dr. I love her...she is so easy "(the other person) You should meet my dr. she always lets me...blah blah blah. Yeah so you get my drift. I am sure most of it stems from insecurities, but to me...it is just plain annoying! AND a lot of the time, it's a person who I probably think has an annoying kid anyway!!!

I am not sure why when you are pregnant it's like an open door for stories that you SOMETIMES don't want to hear! My FAV. is people who have one kid and are not planning on having any more, and try to talk to you about being pregnant again...UM hello, you can't! Shit like that makes me nuts...how can you be an expert when you did something once? NOT that I am one in ANY shape of form, NOR do I claim to be...but you certainly should not be taking that position either. You experienced it one time, and believe me you one time is not like two times! So that's the "One Upper". If you have to question whether or not you think you are, you are. I think grandparents are exempted because for some odd reason they think everything their grandkids do is spectacular...I am here to say, it is not...and chances are they are just like anyone else's kid, even if you SWEAR they are not. But hell, they are grandparents isn't that what they are supposed to be like? On the other hand I love when women who have children that are older than your kids think they are FULL on parenting gurus. Even if the way they parent, sucks! Whether it's about feeding or clothing or schools. I DO love ASKING people for their opinions, I think that's quite necessary. My advice is to ask the things you want to know to the people you love and trust...I don't like to have to hear their opinions when I don't ask for them. I don't want to hear how you do things and how you think they are the best ways. I don't want to hear your opinion on the schools I am applying to, I don't want to hear the purely organic foods you THINK you feed your child...just don't wanna hear it! If I do, I will certainly ask!

So, food for thought. The next time someone is telling you a story, just sit there and listen. Bottom line.

PS: Saw Enrique on The Today Show this morning, can he be my next baby daddy?!!?!?!?

Have a great weekend, stay cool!
Much love!
XOXO
BTC

SWEETPEASANDSTILETTOS!

Big shout out to www.sweetpeasandstilettos.com, for covering my blog!
Check out the site, it's a great "in the know" for mom's, and mom's to be!

http://www.sweetpeasandstilettos.com/baby/pregnancy-websites-blogs-books-tips/

XOXO
BTC

CRY ME A RIVER...

I give a whole new meaning to Justin's song, "Cry Me A River"...I mean for real, I am like waterworks central!

What is it about the increase of hormones that makes the smallest thing, seem incredibly LARGE! I cry at times when it makes no sense at all, and that often turns into hysterics. Last night I could not find this schmata thing I wear sometimes at home and cried hysterically to Brian, because it was missing. I mean, like I have nothing else to wear? It is beyond ridiculous!

I watch "The Hills" for christ sake and cry because kristen can't be with Brody! I don't know those people, nor do I care...but for some reason things as ridiculous as THAT, make me weepy! No one told me that I would want to kill someone at one moment and then want to kiss them the next. Things that never bothered me, bother me now...and the things that made me crazy before pregnant, I could care less about! I cannot make a decision worth my life and I am someone who was RARELY indecisive. My normally short fuse is even shorter, and I can't stand when things are not in the perfect order; being type A already that's super scary for people like my husband. I hate disorganized anything and chaos makes me nuts...but I have not done a THING for this baby at all...and am entering my 7th month of pregnancy early next month. WTF does that mean? I want things done but I don't want to do them? I guess in conclusion you are just not yourself when pregnant, DUH we know this man. I mean you are in some ways but in many other ways you are not!

I always like to pile on so many things that I can't really breathe, but want everyone to think that I have it all together! I am not sure how to balance it all at the moment being a mom, having a big career, husband, friends, family, plans, etc. but I am reluctant to let anything go! I cry because I can't handle a lot of it, but at the same time I still do it all? WHAT the fuck is that about? I guess the only thing I really have going for me, is a lot of sex! HA!

More to come kids, more to come...
XOXO
BTC

IF YOU CAN'T EAT EM, JOIN EM...

I thought about some things that you WANT to eat while pregnant AND certainly should BUT in moderation...so instead of not having them at all, you can find good alternatives. I am not super crazy about ice-cream but I am super crazy about Mint Chocolate Chip ice-cream; WITH rainbow sprinkles. Here are some of my favorite alternatives to the things I WOULD eat if I could...

MCC Ice-cream--Skinny Cow Ice-Cream Sandwiches
Chocolate--Haribo Gummy Bears
Diet Coke--1 CAFFEINE free dr. Pepper
Beer/Wine/Vodka--Nothing in the DAMN world can take the place of any of those!!!
Bree--Cream Cheese
Fresh Mozz.--Low-fat monterey jack cheese with japaenos
Apple Pie--Homemade oatmeal w/macc. apples, vanilla extract and cinnamon

An entire muffin--Vita Muffin tops

These are just some of my favs...you def. still need to move your ass while pregnant, it's hard hearing things from certain people like, "I have not moved at all since I got pregnant." I mean, you don't need to be running marathons, but...at least take up walking? I do it for vanity of course BUT more so for an easier labor and delivery; or so I pray!

I was sitting bed last night with Brian watching a movie, and for some reason the position that I was in, felt like my vagina was slightly...how do I say this without sounding totally gross, open? I mean it felt like I was already dilated or something NOT that I could feel what that felt like the 1st time but...it felt like is sounds? HE told me some things were better left unsaid but really...It just felt like pressure and a slight opening. OH WELL who knows, I see the dr. this week so I will be sure and relay those thoughts to her!

Have a FABU Monday!
XOXO
BTC

HOT SPOTS!

I briefly thought about what to post today and realized I shop a lot of great sites...some having to do with pregnancy, some not so much! BUT all good sites to review.

My brain is fried by Friday so no real words of wisdom other than, have a great weekend and drink all the things that I cannot!

www.topshop.com
www.destinationmaternity.com (IF you are desperate)
www.charmandchain.com (because everyone needs good jewelry to draw attention AWAY from your belly)
www.rachelpally.com
www.shopbop.com
www.gap.com
www.people.com (note the babies section)

More for another day...

Love to all! Talk to you next week...
XOXO
BTC

HATE IS SUCH A STRONG WORD...BUT SOMETIMES SO NECESSARY!

Have you ever had those days when you literally want to jump off a bridge? I mean NOT literally, but you know what I mean...

The days when everyone bothers you, nothing goes right, everyone is annoying and you just can't understand why people act the way they do? I have to admit I have those days quite often. I know the feelings are a bit more unpleasant with all the hormones raging in my body, but is that really a fair excuse? I mean I don't feel much differently inside, the way I do outside when preggers. I know people tell me that we tend to go overboard from the hormones but I often question it...

I do feel a bit more likely to jump all over someone, but then I think to myself they deserve it, I would totally feel the same way even if I was not pregnant. I do think my fuse is a bit shorter but in reality it's always kinda short. Mmmm, are the hormones really like cravings? Can you not stop them unless you decide to give into them? IF that's the case then all pregnant women could technically go postal and use pregnancy as their excuse:)

Here are some of the top ten things that annoyed me yeserday:
1. I wanted a second diet caffeine free dr. pepper but that's "technically" not allowed
2. My mother seems to think that she says things when she clearly does not (must be an age thing)
3. I could not fasten my own sandals yesterday morning and had to resort to asking my nanny for help
4. It's so F___G hot outside Tarzan couldn't take this kinda hot
5. Why do people think that guessing what month you are in is appropriate
6. Is there a reason they have Heidi Klume modeling maternity wear in the window of Destination Maternity on 57th street; YEAH that's realistic
7. The world does not revolve around you, yeah you! If I could control everything I would not have a day job!
8. I have not gotten a full night sleep without a pee pee interuption from either myself or my daughter in over a year
9. I am so tired at this point I want to frequently tell people to stop talking to me so that I can lay my head down wherever I am
10. Please do not tell me I look great when it's not even REMOTELY possible

So there are my top ten reasons for hating yesterday...I actually have like 45 more but that's just not fair to anyone.
Wishing today is a better day for everyone...you just can't plan it that way, no matter how hard you try.

More to come kids, more to come...
XOXO
BTC

CHASE THE HAIR OF THE DOG THAT BIT YOU...

AND I don't mean in reference to our friend, BOOZE!

Why is it that you have so much more hair in places you don't even think would be possible? Men have hair on their bellies due to hormones and apparently we can too! I find that even the hair on my legs grows more aggressively when pregnant, but never realized I could also have small little hairs on my belly too! THIS I now know because Aiden pointed this all out to me last night!

There I am lying on the couch when she suggests I pull my shirt up, to let the baby breathe better. I pulled up my shirt and Aiden (who definitely has a career as a dermatologist) decides she would like to try and pluck the little hairs out of my belly.
I was shocked to know they were even there, let alone visible enough for her to see AND pick them! I am completely amazed not only am I pregnant, I am now more hairy than I even thought was possible. I will tell you what I will not be doing, that's wearing a bikini even in this heat. If I can't really see it, no one else should either!

NOT sure anyone WANTS to look like Frida kahlo???

Everyday it becomes more and more obvious to me why women carry children, and men do not. Can you imagine them going through all of these changes? I think not! Everything just happens MORE when pregnant. More hair, longer nails, more weight, more food, more swelling, more, more, more, more...

UGH!
Happy Tuesday!
XOXO
BTC

WHERE'S JUDGE JUDY WHEN YOU NEED HER?

Have you ever wanted to put someone you know and love on the stand? I mean put em up there and fire questions at them? I know that may sound crazy but there are so many people I want to do that to. I know I have said this before but why do so many "RELATIVELY" smart people, say such stupid things??? I can't quite get over it. I want to put THEM on trial and ask them all of the questions I think about asking them...but never do!

What is considered normal? I am still a BIG believer that people say dumb things because they have their own insecurities, but if you have NEVER had a child (which of course is MORE than ok) then please refrain from saying things you can't even begin to relate to. IF you don't want a kid to each his own, BUT then don't try to join the club if you can't really relate to the club...you know? You can't even BEGIN to relate to what we go though, how we decide to do what? What we wear, how we plan to give birth, what NAMES we will end up choosing...lucky for you, you don't ever have to worry about ANY of that! So take your opinions and shove them up your non-child bearing ASS.

What do you do when you find yourself in this type of predicament especially when hormonal and pregnant? You can do one of two things, you could A. Call them out on it and make sure to put them in their place, so that it never happens again or B. Let them do the talking and move on from that particular conversation. Normally I would chose A but when pregnant A is dangerous for someone like me. I could unleash to the point where the friendship or family member might never want to speak to me again; which I sometimes think would be brilliant! In turn, I do think that the best case scenario is choosing B.

I am human so there are tons of things I may think are ridiculous i.e. names, things people do when pregnant, etc. but I certainly choose to take the high road and not voice that portion of my opinion, as best I can! Remember that words can hurt and that sometimes the things you think might be "DIFFERENT" or "STRANGE" don't really concern you. We don't need to please you in order to make decisions. I do not make decisions based on anyone other than myself and Brian when it comes to the baby. If I spent all the time pin pointing all of the things I think you do that are weird, it would take all day.

More to come kids..more to come!
XOXO
BTC

RIP IT BABY, RIP IT RIGHT...AND I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MY WAX FIGURE...

One thing I could not give up even if I tried is waxing. It's the most unpleasant, pleasant time of the month; other than well you know...BUT I certainly feel 10 pounds lighter than when I walk out of Bliss Spa here in NYC, and see my girl Bella.

Bella is like a friend I never knew I needed, but can't really live without:) Does that make sense? I hate to see her but love to see her at the same time. I thought about giving it up when pregnant the 1st time around for about a moment, and then realized...WTF why on earth would I do that? I wonder how many woman continue to "groom" while preggers? AND does it really make a difference to your man (or woman) when you are not looking your best anyway? Should we continue to do it even though we know the rest of us has gone to shit? I am going to go out on a limb and say, yes...do it! I am also going to say if there ever was a time to let 70's bush come back into style, this would be it!

If you are in the NYC area and you want to meet someone who will make you at least feel like it's worth getting every hair pulled out of your vagina, go visit Bella at Bliss Spa. We have been connected since 1999, for real...that long.

I know this post is quite short, BUT...it's the holiday weekend and I am already super psyched to hang with Aiden and Brian.

Happy 4th of July KIDS!!!! Enjoy the time with your family, friends, etc. Eat like pigs, drink like fishes and "fry like bacon bitches!"

XOXO
BTC