LOVE BEING A BIG SISTER....

ONE thing's for sure, I love being a big sister! There's something to be said for being born first:) It's like you right of passage has a purpose when you have a younger sibling. I always knew that Brian and I would have more kids, we wanted Aiden to have a sibling and knew she would be THE best big sister EVER!

Aiden now knows the "family tree", who belongs to who, who is married to who, who's mom is who, etc. She knows that "Uncle Chip" Is mommy's "little brother"...she still understands that concept even thought he is all grown up; but still falls under that little brother category:) She knows that Uncle Chip has a really nice girlfriend named Shannon (took him long enough:) and that usually where he is, she is! She loves that he throws her around and tickles her all around our apt....she loves that he takes her to the ice cream and candy store just to make her happy....she loves that he will hug and kiss her until she can hardly breathe, BUT most of all she loves him because he loves her so much! They have a very special relationship, and for that I am very thankful!

Here is a pic of the two of them taken yesterday while decorating the Christmas tree at our mom's! She LOVES her Uncle Chip SO much...just had to share!

HAPPY MONDAY!
XOXO
BTC

DIAPERS.COM WOO TO THE HOO

I MUST say, diapers.com and soap.com are THE best sites on the face of this planet! I am completely and totally obsessed with both...AND you do NOT need to be parents to take an interest in the sites, it sells SO much more than just that! I cannot even tell you how often I live on those sites....you can order anything from Melissa & Doug toys, to diapers to soap to

SO MUCH TO SAY, SO LITTLE TIME...

There are so many people I want to thank for allowing me, to be me! It sounds strange but once you are comfortable with who you are you don't really care what everyone else thinks (within reason). The best part of my blog is for me to be able to say whatever I want, its my outlet of all of my feelings..good AND bad...I am thankful to have the ability to write it all down....I say this to introduce my next paragraph...last night was filled with MANY emotions....

In todays world, there are still some really wacky people. Last night my entire family had dinner and visited the tree in Rockefeller center (sisters, bro, bro in law, nieces, nephew, etc.) It was a FANTASTIC evening, filled with lots of wine and lots of laughing! An interesting thing happened...standing in MY OWN city...we had an altercation with a very odd old man and his incredibly uneducated wife. Bottom line is he said some things that I did not even think were possible in this melting pot of a world. As the altercation became more and more heated and my brother and brother in laws were "taking care of the situation" the wife yelled back, "Black Bitch". NOW who exactly were they talking to my sister's and I were all there! HA BUT no for real, I could not image that in front of children, the NYC society and then some, this twisted man's wife yelled that out. I mean if we were standing in Texas at a rodeo MAYBE but in NYC? UNBELIEVABLE!

It's amazing that people like that still exist in this world, although my brother said it quite well to them last night, "Your type will eventually die out!" And he is right...the people that cannot except people for who they are not what they are, and continue to spread racism of any kind in this country...will hopefully become extinct. My photo caption is strong and straight to the point...apparently those people do still exist. If you know who you are, if you were the people that spent last night at Rockefeller center yelling exreme profanities about people's race, I would love for you to step forward so I can highlight your ass! I will always tell that story so people know who you are, without having to see your faces.

In any event, today I am trimming the tree with my girls and my man. There is nothing like the smell of Christmas in a home. It's something you can't quite describe you just have to know. A feeling of warmth and delight no matter what's going on in your life and in the world. I am ready to bring some cheer into our home.
I hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend...for those who celebrate the festival of lights, HAPPY HANUKAH!

A very jaded....BTC
XOXO

A ok to PLAY

SO I got the A OK from the super doc. to have sex...all scheduled to go into have an IUD put in today, and I get a call saying they are out of the device. NO FOR REAL, a Manhattan dr.'s office, affiliated with Cornell Medical and there's not a device in the whole damn place! WTF, it's like the twilight zone!!!

I WOULD HAVE AN EASIER TIME GETTING OUT OF A TURKISH PRISON!

I seriously have THE hardest time getting 2 kids out of the house! NOW not many places I can really even go with LJ, her shots are on the 30th..but just getting into the car to go to my mom's, is a TOTAL shit show!

Ciao for now!
XO
BTC

THE IN-BETWEEN, THE TIE, THE CROSS-ROADS....THE NOT BEFORE BUT NOT QUITE AFER!

The in-between, the no longer pregnant but not back to, "The way we were" sucks royally! You are no longer pregnant and that's totally amazing for many reasons, but you are not, NOT pregnant either. I find this might be THE worst time!

You have now somewhat adapted to life with a newborn (for the first time or again) and things are somewhat normal, but at the same time you don't feel very normal at all. Everyone talks about pre-pregnancy size but what about the time before that, but post birth? BLOWS!!! The whole "transitional" period sucks! Make sure and get some clothing that you love to hold you over, or the feeling is just that much worse! DO NOT squeeze yourself into anything because that's certainly not cute AT all! Go ahead and spend that doe!

OFF to work out like it's my job, with giant tits and a "cute" little tummy pouch...DELIC!

BON WEEKEND!
XOXO
BTC

CAN'T GET OUT OF MY OWN WAY...AND I APPARENTLY BLOCK MYSELF CONSTANTLY!

Why is it that even enjoying a glass of wine is not the same, the excitement of going out is not the same, everything just "Feels" differently at the moment!

I want everything to stay the same yet be different. I want to have it all and eat my cake too! I want to be the same person I was before kids, now with kids...but that's just NOT possible, and this I know. NOT to mention I would not have it any other way! IT's amazing that even when you know what happens after the baby is born, and the emotional roller-coaster that you ride, it's still not enough warning to go through it again...and you forget that you are in "transition" time, that you don't just pop back into the person you were, before the baby came! I need to remind myself that constantly, just to get through the day sometimes.

I am so fine with not having a typical "maternity leave" I love what I do and there's not taking time off, but at the same time, I can never get this time back with Lila so I try and stop and take a moment, to remember that. I want to be the one that has it all but keeps it together at the same time, most of the time I like to think that I am...but other times I am a mess. You would think I would weight 10 pounds for the amount of time I am on my feet and not sitting; but then again, SO many woman do just as much if not more than I do...so I SHOULD be able to hack it!

Anyway, it's life changing they say having a baby..."Having a baby changes everything" I just don't want to forget who I am/was and hope to still be, SOME of that person.

XOXO
BTC

CONFINED TO THE HOME...

You know I did not realize having a baby in October, can be tricky when you have more than one! Due to the weather and the lag time before the new one gets her shots, you are pretty much confined to the home! Lila cannot accompany Aiden yet on playdates at other people's homes, and no one can really come here...ON TOP of it being flu season, etc. it's kinda a shit show!

We have all been sick since the last week of Sept. LITERALLY, and it does not seem to go away...but it also may be circulating in our home, since we are all stuck inside! SO, IF we are to have another one, I am going to make sure and give birth in the last spring or early summer, just makes things a bit easier I think?

TIRED, would not have it any other way, BUT super tired!!!!
XOXOXO
BTC

"THE 2ND TIME AROUND..."

Everyone always said having 2 is going to be CRAZY, that you think you have no time now...just wait! Honestly, it's EASIER than the first time around that's for shit sure. I don't have my head up my ass and Brian only has his head partially up his own ass!

We did go from zone defense to a more man to man approach, but I have to say I will try and diligently tell people it's easier the 2nd time around just a bit more nuts!

Today is Halloween, the shitiest holiday on the face of this planet. I always hated it, as a kid, in college and now as an adult. I honestly don't see the point of it, not for anyone...even the kids. It's annoying to have to deal with the costumes, they go nuts for the candy and then you are left with bartering..."if you are you are big girl you can have a piece of candy", I mean how F__G unproductive!?!?!?

The little one will be a Lamb (Aiden's old costume) while Aiden is Cinderella (she was snow-white as of Thurs. but apparently that has changed). I hope you all have a wonderful day...kids or not, I am ready to move onto Thanksgiving...now THAT'S a holiday!

XOXO
BTC

NOT ABOUT BABIES, BUT GOD I LOVE THIS SHIT...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/28/lynn-patridge-audrinas-mo_n_775196.html

TAKE A LOOK AT THAT, GOD HOW I HAVE MISSED DRINKING:)
XOXO
BTC

THE NEVER ENDING CASH FLOW...

EVeryone knows when you have a kid, you spend more money...what everyone does not know, is that you end up spending more money on not just the kid...but the your DAMN SELF!!!

It's not like you can jump right back into the exact jeans you wore the day you were preggers...I mean granted, at some point you can but certainly not week 2 or 3 post baby, SO that leads me to buy new clothes! I mean, I don't sit at home with 2 kids (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that) but I don't live that life, so getting back into non-pregnancy clothing is incredibly vital right away. My suggestion is spend as much as you can, get as much as you can and then edit out as you go along. This way you have options, that's the KEY word here, "options".

Like I have time for this shit? It's almost 7 both kids sleeping, and about to work out...before dinner, at night which I LOATHE...but you gotta do what you gotta do!

XOXO
BTC

MANAGING EGOS, EXPECTATIONS AND THE ELITE ...

I have learned that you can't manage/change anyone, you just can't! You can try and help them see more clearly, but that's about it. I find that managing people's egos is actually harder than managing a newborn....

How do you tell someone that something is not possible? AND when you do that how do you help them to believe there's a reason for that? It's kinda like changing a poopie diaper, you do it while holding your nose and you do it gently...but FAST! Kinda like pulling a bandaid off that has been sitting on your leg for days! I always thought taking care of a kid was the hardest BUT honestly it's not! Managing adults is THAT much harder!

How do you help people who don't see things your way, see things your way:) AND help them understand that with your way, there is a reason for THAT way. You can't all parent alike and you have to agree to disagree on a lot of things, but at the same time as a parent I am extremely protective of my girls. Their safety and happiness is directly related to my happiness. Again, managing those that don't think or parent like you is really quite hard! What I do know is that I am thankful to have a husband who parents/thinks just like me when it comes to our kids. I think everything he did not have, he wants for his girls...as opposed to me who wants to parent JUST like my mom...and use everything that she taught me on my own girls.

"Managing" is the key term here whether it is in life or in business is always quite challenging. I would rather be upfront and honest than blow smoke up anyone's ass. Not everything will work and not everyone will be successful, but that's just how you weed out the not great with the GREAT, the men from the boys, the ones that are here to stay and the ones who are here for a fleeting moment. Funny, raising a baby is very similar to managing adults...nature vs. nurture...glad I took that Psych 101 class in college!

Ciao for now!
XOXO
BTC

HOW TO NURTURE THE MOTHER/DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP...

How do you find that happy medium as a girl, with your mom? How do you find the correct balance so that when you are of age, and can share secrets and feelings you do so appropriately. When does your mom go from being just your mom to your mom AND friend? All good questions and concerns I have with my own daughters...Funny thing is, when you become a mom you take note of all the annoying things that other mom's and daughters do or how annoying their relationships are!

Here I am sitting with my now 2 girls wondering what kind of relationship we will have? I often base it off my own relationship with my mother, that is just, to me, perfection. We connect, disagree, discuss, analyze, etc. we are not dependent on one another in ways that are not healthy, but rather depend on each other for all of the right reasons. She is someone I talk to about everything, but she does not live vicariously through me (like some mom's I know) and I have NEVER been financially dependent on her (post college) that is:) I fight my own battles, make me own successes and failures while she sits back and lets me do my thing! I can always count on her to speak her mind when she thinks I am doing something wrong but never tells me HOW she thinks I should fix it; unless of course I ask.

In any event, I am so thrilled to have 2 daughters to grow old with...to nurture and love the same way my mom did for me....it's a beautiful thing...I think the next topic of convo will be how much EASIER it is the 2nd time around!!!

XOXO
BTC

TO VACCINATE OR NOT TO VACCINATE THAT IS THE QUESTION...

SO a topic I hate to love...strangely one I just don't fully understand.

I know there is a great divide about this issue, and just like religion, party choice, etc. it's kinda taboo, but at the same time we are talking about putting non-vaccinated babies (who WILL be vaccinated) at risk in the interim, so I feel compelled to talk about it! AND if I can't talk about it on my blog, where can I talk about it? I am trying to be open minded about the different opinions re: this subject but my dr, said something that really hit home for me...

"Beth those kids who are not vaccinated are in reality, walking parasites!" OYE to the VEY is all I have to say! When you put it in that perspective it makes it much more real to me! She also mentioned of course that taking Lila into public places until she is at least partially vaccinated is a definite NO, and that if we know we could put her in harms way, why would we want to? All good points. I trust Aiden's pediatrician's with every part of my being and value their opinions, suggestions and then some.

So, after it was proven that vaccines do NOT in fact lead to some of the causes people thought they did, what do you do if it's too late to vaccinate your child? Can you imagine all of the things that go on in college let's say and not being protected against any of that? OR being SO angry at your parents for making that kind of decision for you when you were to young to make it yourself? I don't know, I know it's more complicated than that, but for me it's just so simple...vaccinate your child, BASTA!

Let's see....POST birth, I had a giant disgusting blood clot that when I stood up I literally felt a rush, ran to the b-room and out it came. I screamed for Brian b/c honestly I have never in my life seen such a thing. AH the lovely post birth situations...you are not pregnant for 9 months, it's seriously more like 2 GODDAMN YEARS!!

XOXO
BTC

HOW TO PUSH OUT THE UNWANTED HOUSE GUEST, THAT'S NOT A GUEST YET?

How do you explain to people, OR rather why is it necessary to explain to people that after having a baby,the last thing on fucking earth you want to do...is entertain! WHETHER or not they think you will have to, in the end you will. There are VERY few people that you can really count when coming over, that they will bring something and hang with you, but make your life easier. I would have to say other than my mom there are very few people I would not consider "company". I am SO type A that if people are in my house I feel compelled to do things. I guess I need help understanding why people would even think I would want them over at this point 1 week post baby?

Let's just discuss the obvious for a second. You feel and look like TOTAL SHIT for at least the first few weeks post birth. I don't care how GORGEOUS you normally are..things just are not what they used to be and are not in the places where they used to be. You are bleeding for literally like a month straight, wearing full on diapers and your Grandmother's underwear; why would you want everyone coming over, looking at your not yet immunized child, while you stand there looking anything other than your very best??!!? See, that's the thing it seems so common sense to me, but I guess realistically people just don't really get it. WELL I am here to say if I want you there believe me you, you will know; if I don't PLEASE for the love of God do not ask. I am fine with, "when you are ready to have visitors let me know". That makes perfect sense and it's nice to know people want to meet the new addition. EUREKA! I think my biggest issue with this is the fact that even after my first kid and knowing what it was like for me, the same freaking people annoy me all over again! Funny how that shit happens.

My husband agrees at times but disagrees at others, BUT of course that should be the case as he is and looks the exact same as before Lila was born; NOT to mention he did not push something out of his vagina with the war wounds to prove it! I understand that in some ways he just won't get it and in others he does. He has been great about fielding the calls and making sure I don't feel crazed but there is only so much he can do.

So, here I am sitting on my bed with INCREDIBLY SWOLLEN FEET (story for another time) in my robe, not showered and TOTALLY exhausted; about to pump for the 90th time today...wanting everyone (but a couple of key people) to leave me the hell alone for a couple of weeks. When I am ready I will find you.

OH and holy moly 2 is certainly not one, BUUT I would not have it any other way Lila is just simply perfect!
XOXO
BTC

THE AFTER BIIIRRRTH...

LET'S JUST SAY...I will tell the whole truth, nothing but the truth so help me God! I think my OB had me at, "you have a really nice looking placenta!" Ah yeah....you can only imagine the in-between....

BUt in the meantime, I am FAR to exhausted to do anything! I will leave you with this...My INCREDIBLE OB stayed an extra 3 hours JUST to deliver my baby. She was on call until 8 AM and Lila was born at 10:51. I cannot thank her enough, the experience would just never have been the same without her. I literally would have another kid just to visit with her:)

More to come I PROMISE...we are now entering the POST preggo diaries, you can only imagine what I might say!
XOXO
BTC

LILA JAMES COHEN, BORN OCTOBER 3RD, 2010

WOWIE! She came early...just as we suspected!
Lila James was born on October 3rd, 2010...at 10:51 AM, weighing in at 5 pounds 13 ounces! PEEEEAAANUT!

AAAHH I am so in love, it's amazing how you can you love the 2nd one as much as the 1st!

More to come...I mean you gotta hear about the birth and guts and shit, no? :) HA!

XOXO
BTC

THE SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME...Why, I don't know!

I have to say I honestly don't know who these people are, EVEN being in the media...but please help me understand why you publicize the fact that you are having a baby, know the sex but plan on keeping it a secret? I just don't get it? Someone enlighten me.

http://celebritybabies.people.com/2010/10/01/melissa-rycroft-we-know-the-sex-of-our-baby/

WTF??!?!?
BTC

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMUEL BENJAMIN BERK

OH HAPPY DAY!
My best friend Dana had her baby boy today, Samuel Benjamin Berk....awwww love him already. NOT much else to say, this day is devoted to him!

XOXO
BTC

YOU FORGET SO THAT YOU DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN...

I am convinced half the reason you don't remember everything from one pregnancy to the next...is so that you do in fact do it again! You THINK you will remember it all just like riding a bike....I mean on some level it is like riding a bike, but on a whole other level there are things you thankfully forget. Gearing up for this birth," It's all coming back to me now..." Celine D.

As I pack my bag and organize the crazy chaos at home, I see how much shit I really need. Brian and I (and Nana Thomas) made several trips to the store to grab some last minute necessities. Each time we go back we remember more things we need. I mean, I was planning on using the same membranes from my last pump, I guess that's not totally kosher or sanitary for that matter? :) All the gear we carried over from Aiden (and that is a lot) on top of the things that my amazing mother has supplied (we would be screwed without her) make us feel like we are "somewhat" on our A GAME; BUT jesus christ...all the toiletries and crap, ugh what a total pain in the ass. Like a diaper genie, do we HAVE to have that? Did we have that with Aiden? Yes. Do we need everything that we had the 1st time? I am gonna say not:)

Let's talk about the "Bag Packing" por moi. I opted out of snacks and sucking candies probably because I live in NYC and you can literally get anything that you want, at anytime, from any corner...and concentrated on the pillow, giant maxi-pads and slipper situation. That's a shit show in itself, I don't remember how much or how little I wore when I was there, considering I was barely there for 36 hours. We put the car-seat in the car over the weekend which of course made our large car look even smaller! I know we are ALL feeling a bit anxious.

Now that fashion week and post showing B' squared PR clients is over, I feel like I can have the kid. I was so worried about missing any of that that I think I held the baby in during that time period. I think given that the contractions are now coming on and off every 20 minutes, it can't be long. I can't wait for her to come but at the same time I know the train wreck about to occur. It's not all peaches and cream for AT LEAST the first 3 months....the first 3 months ABSOLUTELY SUCKS ASS!!!

Have a great Sunday, hoping you are having a bloody mary or mimosa for me:(

OH and PS! Still have dia...they took a Listeria test last week but I mean really...WTF, I am so over this "SHIT!!!"
XOXO
BTC

"HEY MAMA!" KAYNE SAID IT BEST...

I am not sure who takes care of who anymore, we seem to be so intertwined...but I am so incredibly thankful to have my mom.

I was watching a commercial today about kids and their grandparents. Aiden's relationship with her nana is EVERYTHING I had ever hoped it would be. They are THE best of friends. When we are at my mom's she does not leave my mom's side. They play dress up, they go outside and make acorn soup, they paint, they watch movies together, they do the dishes together (Aiden's activity choice), they cook together. I mean it's THE most amazing thing ever! I never knew a relationship in theory could be like the one I have with my own mom. The other day my mom said, "sometimes I forget she's not mine." In truth, she kind of is. She is JUST like me in every sense of the word, sensitive like Brian but everything else is me! I love watching them together, seeing how much they love each other and how much of the way I learned to parent, came from my mom. I attribute Aiden's manners, way about her, etc. to the way I was taught/parented.

I wanted to write a post about this, because I feel very lucky to have my mom as the most important support system. I can talk to her about anything and everything, there is no obstacle we can't hurdle. I can ask her for LITERALLY anything and she always says yes. There is nothing she would not do for us, at anytime at any place. She is available to talk at anytime day or night...she is our "go to" for all. I am not sure what I would do without her, but really in truth...I don't know what Aiden would do without her. She is her "NANA" and no one in the world could replace her, not even me.

Thank you mom for helping me raise such an amazing kid, I could not do it without you. You are by far her 2nd Mother (at times I think her 1st:)...which means there's no way she could not turn out to be THE most amazing kid! You are her best friend as you are mine, she would be lost without her nana!
:)

JUST BECAUSE...

I AM BIGGER THAN A HOUSE, AND SUPER TIRED...DOES NOT MEAN THINGS LIKE THIS CAN'T MAKE IT ALL WORTH WHILE!
HERE IS AIDEN DURING HER SOCCER CLASS....ALL BOYZ AND HER...SHE'S MY GIRL, TRUE ATHLETE THROUGH AND THROUGH, CAN OUT RUN THE BOYZ AND DO HER THING! JUST LIKE HER MAMA...THANK GOD!!!! I LOVE HER FOR ALL OF HER PRINCESS WEAR AND THEN SOME, BUT AM HAPPY TO KNOW SHE WILL BE ROCKING OUT AT ANY SPORT, AT ANY AGE!
THAT'S MY GIRL!
XOXO
BTC

NYC Pediatrician's...almost easier to get into FORT KNOX!

In NYC everything is just harder. Doing things takes more time, people are more aggressive and the idea that your child can't just walk into an office and see a dr. (even when you have the appropriate insurance) is just kinda insane. For the past 4 years, Aiden has gone to a FANTASTIC practice and to a pediatrician that we love! HOWEVER, we do pay out of pocket when we have perfectly fine insurance. What is the reason for the insurance if we don't even use it? Ugh...In any event, now with this new one coming any moment we talked about putting them both in a practice with a dr. that takes our insurance. Seems quite logical, sad to be leaving the amazing dr.'s we see now, but...def. doable; or so I THOUGHT!

There I am at my wonderful OBGYN's office getting referrals for peds. I find an office on the UES and speak to a semi-lovely front desker named (let's call her Sassy). I inquire about a Dr. to be Aiden's new dr. and the new babies dr. as well. She fires back, "As of today (no for real the day I called) we are no longer accepting new patients." I almost shit myself. I said ok, there are 5 doctors FIVE in your practice and not one is taking on new patients? WTF is that about? Why have a practice of that size, and not take on new patients...and had I called last week (I asked) then this would not be a problem? She (the idiot that she is) said, "Yes as of today that is the case." She was dead serious. I made some calls to see if they could make an exception...and was relieved to find out that they would!

I then call the pediatrician back a few days later, and the same semi-lovely Sassy took all of my information down, and said she would check with the dr. to make sure she would take on new patients and get back to me (after I told her that my dr. already talked to her), but whatever. In any event she calls me back and says, "Sorry (let's call her Dr. Rosie) is not taking on any new patients. UM who the FUCK is Dr. Rosie? That's not the person I inquired about NOR the person that my dr. called for me. Sassy THEN called me back and I said just that...I said I was asking about (let's call her Dr.Nasty), she then had to go, talk to Dr. Nasty and call me back AGAIN! When she called back this is what she said, "Hi I talked to Dr. Nasty she is happy to take on the newborn but not your 4 year old." I then said, "I am sorry I don't quite understand, I am to see 2 different pediatrician's because she wants to AGE discriminate? WTF Aiden goes to the dr. like never at the moment, and she won't take on both my kids?" She then said, "Sorry she just won't take them both on right now." My answer..."Ok well can I please at least meet her considering she will be seeing one of my children?" Sassy then replied, "Sorry the dr.'s don't meet with potential patients/parents they just don't work that way." I say, "Um what do you mean? So I am to just have my new baby see a dr. that I have not even met? Oh ok, well she comes to the hospital when the baby is born right?" Sassy, "Um no we don't do that." OK I had HAD it by that time, I literally said to her, "OK well she can think about it like this...if I meet her and don't like her, then I am one less newborn she has to worry about...and I know she seems concerned with adding new patients. SO, with that said please let me know her my thoughts, thanks." SERIOUSLY WWWWWTTTTFFFF!!!

Note to everyone, NYC is great, the best, I LIVE...but shit like this about NYC makes me crazy..the burbs are looking MORE and more appealing by the damn moment!!!

Have a fabu weekend, if you are fasting for Yom Kippor I wish you an easy fast...I on the other hand cannot fast this year, so instead I am staying close to the hospital and shopping with my mom for last minute baby GEAR, HOLLA!

XOXO
BTC

HOLY S__T, LITERALLY!

I can't even bring myself to do a full post on this subject because frankly even for me...it's GROSS! BUT let's just say my tummy is having some major issues, and the dr. wants to make sure it's not some sort of bigger issue.

So there I am at 2AM in the morning making a mad dash for the potty, to then take a sample and bring it to my Dr.'s office today. I mean, most of you can tell I can talk about anything, do anything and even have quite a potty mouth...this on the other hand set me over the edge; it even pushed me over my limit! I just got to my office after dropping off poo to my dr. even they were grossed out by what I had to pass along. WHAT A SHIT SHOW!!!!!

In any event, these are the things we do to ensure everyone is healthy, but I have to tell you..I will forever remember my middle of the night activities for the rest of my life...and pray none of you have to scoop your own poo, into what looks like a glorified test tube!!!

Onto the next thing, market appointments with fashion editors...much more my speed!

XOXO
BTC

EVERT LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC...

I am now at the point when every move the baby makes, COULD mean labor! The last week has been a bit hectic, between organizing all of our clients to show during fashion week, the Jewish Holidays, and finally Aiden's 4th birthday I wanted to blow my brains out!!! I have had a lot to juggle, plan and balance and I think my body said HOLD THE PHONE...between the dia and the contractions, a bit of swelling that I am certainly not use to, I have JUST about had it! It's amazing what your body is capable of handling, but at the same time I am amazed how it also tells you ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Aiden's little dress up, princess party with her little girlfriends on Sat, and I am SO thankful it went so well AND super thankful that it's O-V-E-R! Her little friends looked amazing in all of their gear, I just love every single one of them! What a fun age 4 is, pink lemonade and princess cakes...all the trimmings!

Managing expectations on all levels all the way around is a bit tiring and I am surely shot to shit! HOWEVER, the show must go on and if the baby appears during all of this (early like Aiden's delivery appearance) then so be it! I have to be prepared...which by the way I am still not. My husband asked why we have babies during football season, my feeling is why do we have babies during Fashion Week!!!

OYE to the VEY!
XOXO
BTC

A DAY DEDICATED TO ARC!

It was 4 years ago today, I had Aiden Rae Cohen. I remember the day vividly, a day very much like today (gorgeous, 70's degrees). I had not had her quite yet (she was born at 4:58), but I was just getting to the hospital, for a very pleasant labor!
I have not much to say other than I love her more everyday and could not EVEN imagine my life without her. She is THE single best thing I have ever done, and the most perfect thing I have ever done! She is the best parts of me combined with the best parts of Brian. She is EVERYTHING I have ever wanted in a daughter and more, and I look forward to a lifetime of love and friendship with my little girl.

Happy Birthday Aiden Rae, you are the love of my life!
Love, your MAMA!

XOXO
BTC

A DEDICATION TO THE GIRLY DOCS! AMEN TO THE OBGYN!

What is it about an OBGYN that we strangely hate to love? We NEED them to get us through probably the most pivotal time in our lives (the child bearing years); but at the same time we are also SO intrigued by what they do and at times question why! Well at least that's how I feel! After having an appointment today, I decided to give a "shout out" to all the Vag docs, GOD knows we could not do it without you!

My dr. (she will remain nameless for her own protection) is just perfect. Easy going, laid back, kind of the Mary Poppins meets Hillary Clinton? Super smart but serves a "spoon full of sugar that helps the medicine go down." A little bit of sweet with a lotta sass! No for real, she's great! I honestly give her credit for dealing with idiot first time mothers, that probably ask her the most ridiculous questions! Or literally have an organized birth plan when their baby still looks like a gummy bear on the monitor! I think they feel blessed when they get a pregnant person like me who curses non-stop, asks how far I can possibly stetch this so I don't have the kid in my office, and tells her if I were to EVER get to 40 weeks I would take the baby out myself! I feel comfortable asking when I have the internal exam (those you get again at the end of your pregnancy) so that I can prepare myself. Not sure it hurts for everyone, but when you are dilated and she puts some fingers up there, it's kinda like adding more pressure to an already shaken can of soda. I mean, I guess I would pretty much ask anyone, anything given my personality...but there's something about her that I just love! ROCK ON Dr. K! Not everyone is as cool as you. I once had a cooler than ice vagina doc, needless to say the idea of pot smoking while breast feeding was not a topic she was willing to hear!

AND let's briefly discuss all of the totally, beyond nasty reasons that you might not want to be a vajoooj doc, um the obvious ones? What goes on down there with the women that, ah em don't "take care" of their Va J J's. You know the ones I mean, and there HAS to be more out there...than not! UGH, does not take much to gross me out...but that certainly does...MOVE ON...

On a much lighter note...

Happy New Year to all of you the celebrate the Jewish Holidays (myself included) and if you don't....enjoy the days of less traffic and less crowded restaurants in NYC!
Until next time...
XOXO
BTC

"LABOR" Day...

No I am not in labor, although with all of the pressure going on down there...I might as well be. IT is now that time when you see the dr. every 2 weeks and then every week until the baby comes. In other words, totally and completely inconvienent! However, I used this Labor Day to do many things I have said I needed to do, but have not...

We finally got the dresser for the lil one, washed all the baby clothing, got all Aiden's gifts for her bday this week, organized her bday parties, and then some. All while my computer is at the doctor for some unknown reason...for a million dollars. So I have been out of touch, but secretely loving it? So not me, but extremely liberating. We have now finally settled on a name, that I we thought we had settled on before I ruffled the feathers. We are now back to that...so that's complete too. So why do I feel so incomplete? This whole "nesting thing" is even more annoying when you don't want to spend company money on things or personal on peronal things. I MUST have this child in October, far too many things already going on. I need one obligation next month so I don't feel like I could jump off a bridge, NOT to mention technically, this baby could come anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks, scary! Def. brings a whole new meaning to Labor Day! We had a lovely weekend with one of my best childhood friends who was in town with his 2 little boys and amazing wife. Just weird not being able to enjoy a good beer with them, or continue the evening with drinks...but hey, there's always next year right?

Everything feels a bit incomplete at the moment. Have so many things to do at the office, but at 9 months pregnant who has the energy? I mean I guess you can say that I do, because we get it all done, but...things to do at home in preperation for the baby, gearing up for Aiden to start school, her bday parties, just can't really cross any of those things off my list. AND really, everyone talks about 2 being so much harder than one, but WTF no one talks about preparing for 2 when you already have one. That is such a BITCH most of the time. Between bending down and bathing, getting dressed, outings, etc. it's a hard damn thing to do while pregnant. EVEN with a really easy, great kid...I still feel like I tell her to pick things up all the time, get that, put that away simply because I can't! How awful. I actually feel guilty putting her to work, but at the same time that God she is at an age where she can help:)

How randomw is this post, a true reflection of the chaos that is going on in my head the moment...oh and who are the God parents going to be? We have one but not the other, should't that be an easy decision? It was last time...UGH I feel like my brain is fighting with itself...must go before I explode!

Happy LABOR DAY! Celebrate everyone that makes living in Amercia possible...and thank the LORD I am not IN Labor on Labor Day! HOLLA!!

XOXO
BTC

PS: Onto the Jewish Holidays, let's pray nothing happens while celebrating that too!

"DO YOU REMEMBER...AH EH AH, DANCING IN SEPTEMBER..."

SO, here we sit...8 years later celebrating our wedding anniversary today! We have been together for 14 so 8 seems like a walk in the park! This morning we woke up to my gas ( I know lovely) and the sound of our daughter saying, "mama daddy happy anniversary, let's all get up and be together! Look it's 5:55!" Yes, a little different than years before. What happened to the days of wake and bake and good sex for our anniversary, well those days are long gone I tell yah. BUT to be perfectly honest, I would not have it any other way!

We decided on Sushi of Gary for our anniversary dinner, Aiden of course tagging along. It was just right, gorgeous flowers, good food and a sip of beer (so lame but WTF who wants one of anything, would rather hold out). I enjoyed my evening tremendously after spending it in the office all day with my girl BO!

We are now hanging out in the bedroom, Aiden has gone to sleep and we are excited to organize some things for the baby. Interesting how life priorities change!

Nothing much to report other than the anniversary at the moment...but am looking forward to good, regular sex and some wine to go with it in the coming months!

XOXO
BTC

"REACH OUT AND TOUCH...SOMEBODY'S HAND"...

I had THE strangest dream of all time on Saturday night. One thing that happens while pregnant, are the insanely strange dreams that occur! I STILL remember some of them that I had when pregnant the 1st time, one hanging off a cliff by the umbilical chord, me trying to pull the baby up! Just some really wacky ones. Funny enough, this go round I have not remembered my dreams as vividly...until...

Sunday morning, I woke up in NJ and felt like I had just experienced the craziest thing EVER, that did not even really happen. Brian was still asleep next to me, Aiden was up and at em with my mom (we spend the night in NJ and thank GOD for her, she takes Aiden and let's us sleep!!!). I sat up, turned to him and told him that in my dream our little bugger reached out of my belly and I held her hand! It was the cutest/creepiest thing EVER, but aw I tell you..I fell in love with that little baby even more!

I remember watching my belly when Aiden was in there having no idea what was to come, this go round I feel and see all the flips and realize what's to come! It has now gotten to the point where Aiden sits on my lap, pulls my shirt up and rubs my belly AND my boobs. I think she thinks that they are all one in the same, like part of each other. I see the excitement is there, but she also seems quite nervous. I think she is just realizing that the baby will be here to stay!

UGH so many things going on in my brain, so many emotions...what to do with all of it, when you can't rely on a good drink it is VERY tricky!!! I feel like the photo I just posted MOST of the time!

XOXO
BTC

THE RACHEL ZOE "OTHER" PROJECT...

I have been watching "The Rachel Zoe Project" lately, my business partner (the other Beth) suggested I watch it, for business purposes and general amusement. I have to admit being in this industry she seems pretty chill...no mindless name calling, throwing foreign objects at assistants, one upping the people who work for her simply because she's insecure (oh come on we have all had bosses like that in fashion). All in all a pretty cool chick, that a great eye!

Last nights episode circled around fashion week AND fashion off spring. She seems to be struggling with the idea of having children and if there is ever the right time. It's weird, I find that whatever you make a priority, even if you don't realize it, is what you consider important. Granted my career is not as crazy as hers but...it's not an easy thing balancing and having it all. I don't think there's ever a good time, actually I know there isn't but really, is there a better time? Then I look at all these celebrities that have babies in their 40's and how they do it so beautifully, so why not have it now? Would the public's perception of the fact that you might not want to have kids, change the way they think about you as it relates to your career? I would have to say probably, yes.

I think there are some people who are MADE to be mom's and then mom's that don't realize they are made to be mom's, until after they become mom's. I want Rachel Zoe to have a baby, why I am making this my concern I haven't a clue, and who am I to tell her what to do? I can say from one career mom to a potential other, you CAN have it all...you may lose your mind in the interim but it IS possible. They just kinda do it all with you, and become part of your routine. I have a kid that dresses up like a princess, in high heels and all...lip-gloss and handbags galore! She is a part of my world and loving every minute of them. She comes everywhere with me and when she can't that's ok too. We try to parent together, but pitch hit when we can; one picks up the slack for the other.

I am now on the, "I want Rachel Zoe to have a baby kick" just like her sister and I don't know her from a hole in the wall! Rachel if you can hear me, do it...you will be an amazing mom, and Roger and amazing Dad. You were a beautiful bride and will be a beautiful mother. It's incredibly hard to do it all, but it IS doable...let me know if you need any tips, HA!

XOXO
BTC

GIVE ME AN INCH OR I WILL TAKE A GODDAMN YARD!

How on earth does a person wake up and realize that the life they lived just a couple of years ago, is no longer...AND when discovering that how do you help those around you, recognize that too? More importantly, how do you remind people who are older than you, that went through the same life transitions; but certainly need a "refresher" course?

Sometimes people just don't get it! AND I understand why...it's impossible to imagine having a kid, one on the way; or 2+ if you don't have any! Me included! I had no idea the amount of shit that goes into this, until I did it myself! So, I guess I kinda answered my question...there is no golden rule, or straight up way...possibly just the old fashion way of constantly reminding "these" people. Part of me gets too annoyed to try and explain it, while another part of me sounds like a broken record! I try and think to myself, if it were me and Aiden was grown up would I annoy her about some of the things people annoy us about? GOD I hope not! I really hope I am not that person, and when she does remind me...a light goes off in my head! Someone told me one of the smartest things I have ever heard, that having children is the hardest thing you will ever love...AMEN to that! It truly is. The best AND the hardest thing you will ever love.

Why is enough never enough? Why is it than an ample amount of time not sufficient? Why is a whole weekend required when one night is doable? Why is a 3 course meal in demand, when 1 course is the most effective? All questions to answer AFTER you have a kid, because your answers will DRASTICALLY change!

IF you know someone pregnant with their 1st ,2nd, 3rd whatever give them a goddamn break. Take a moment and just think, you know what they have a lot of shit on their plate; and a lot of shit in their belly. Let me cut them a little slack. Know that it's not about you, it's about them...and LET it be about them for at least those 9 months!

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend...I know I am, I am extra exhausted these days! Helping the kid put on weight is no joke!

XOXO
BTC

THE PRICE OF BOOTY!!!!

OMG the most amazing thing happens around the 7th month, you fat ass no longer looks so fat because your stomach is so big! It balances out the roundness in the back, with the roundness in the front! It's kind of amazing!

I just came back from one of my many trips to my office bathroom, and realized as I turned to walk out (I tend to avoid the mirror for obvious reasons) my ass looked smaller. DARE I say that? THEN I realized my ass was still huge but my stomach even larger.

WHO KNEW!?!?!?

WHY WON'T IT JUST FLOW LIKE A RIVER...

Why is it that when you feel like you have to pee SO badly, which is like every 10 minutes, you get there and it takes effort to get it out? Do you know what I am talking about?

I find that when I sit down to pee, i have to literally work at getting it out? When not pregnant you sit, you pee and it's like aaaahhh. NOT the case while pregnant! I seriously have to sit down even when I have to pee SO badly and concentrate on getting it out. I have actually tried leaning back, I tried sitting forward but nothing seems to help. Does this sound totally strange? This starting happening around month 5, and is getting increasingly worse as I get more pregnant. I do remember the same thing happened last time.

My world seems upside down when it comes to peeing! UGH The simple things become so much more difficult.

More to come in a bit, but for now I gotta PEE PEE!!!!

PS: DO YO KNOW THOSE FAMILY MEMBERS THAT ONLY CALL WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING? THE SAME ONES THAT ARE SELFISH ENOUGH TO ONLY SEE YOU ON THEIR TERMS? YEAH THEM...IS IT LIKE A PREREQUISITE FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE? SOOO DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT!

DIRTY THOUGHTS...

Sometimes I feel like a porn star in my own right...basically, the types of positions Brian and I need to come up sometimes to make sex happen successfully, can at times make me feel incredibly skanky...NOT necessarily a bad thing, but...I'm just saying.

PS: BO this one's for you and CCO!

COUNTING SHEEP...WHILE WIDE AWAKE!!!

The idea of more sleep is so damn appealing I compare it to a fantastic, large glass of cab. that I CANNOT have.

One thing that increases like wind during a storm is lack of freaking sleep! I have to pee AT LEAST 5-7 times a night, and so if you do the math...that would mean almost once an hour! NOT to mention my daughter who (like clockwork) has to get up at least once a night to pee herself, sometime between 1-3 AM! SO if you add that to the amount of times I get up we are nearly at 8! What can you to improve sleep? NOT A DAMN THING! Not pee?? Not possible! That's the thing you HAVE to get up and you HAVE to pee. I try and pass over the responsibility of helping Aiden to the bathroom in the night to Brian, but sometimes he does not even hear her calling us!

My feeling is that this is the way you get somewhat prepared to be up all night, with a newborn. Happened to me the first time but I had no idea that I would literally not sleep for more than like 30 minutes at a time; especially if you breast feed for MONTHS! AND there's no putting anyone on a schedule for at least the first 3 month, FORGET the let the kid cry it out until like month 4, 5. That is a hell of a long time to wait, months are like years in this condition!

So, sleep...it becomes non-existent. When people said to me enjoy your sleep now because you will never sleep again they were not kidding!!! Let's see what do I hate more than anything? When Brian tells me he's so tired and not quite sure why...with a smile. That means he remembers he is looking at his wife who is 8 months pregnant with his second child, running a business, managing a 3 year old, putting out a book and then some. He kindly takes it back and realizes he sounds like a total ass! BUT what do you do when you meet the other people who don't know as well, who say the same thing? Smile and walk away...and then think about how good it would feel to trade lives with them for 24 hours. If you have not experienced the difference you can't blame those who do not know. Just think at some point in their lives they probably will.

What can the people you love do to help? Do it all for you! Make sure your husband/wife/partner whatever picks up the slack. Have them do the dishes, cook, take care of the kid a bit more than you, etc. I am still reluctant to ask for help because I like to do it all myself, but then there comes a time when you MUST pass along some of the responsibility or you will DIE of exhaustion! It's the little things, and PLEASE unlike me...cancel plans, lighten your schedule if you work or run a business or just do too much. Make sure and take some time for you so that on the weekends you can literally do nothing...I mean there's no such thing as nothing...but you get my drift! It will help when you can look forward to not spending so much time in the car. Have people come to YOU, especially those that NEVER offer; bottom line then just don't see them!!!

On a much lighter note:
WTF is that STUPID quizno's commercial where the damn cat is dressed up in an ancient 1800's outfit singing about pricing? DO you guys knows what I am talking about? I seriously do not know how commercials like that, can be made! I am in a fragile state and that just makes me want to punch the television EVERY time!

**It's "Terrible Tuesday" people, you know what that means...a little something one of my best friends from my days Oprah labeled, and since then Tuesdays havw never been the same!

XOXO
BTC

NAME CRISIS!

We had finally moved on and chosen a name, we all thought we loved...and then there was me, it all changed last Friday!

I walked onto the bus Friday on my way to work when I heard it...the name I thought we had gotten over and had also abandoned...alas, it caught me by surprise. I loved the way it sounded and it was a girl too, it's not typically just a girls name. I turned to see if I thought the girl was cute (naturally it's always helps when you associate the name with someone cute) and really she was not super cute; BUT I was so attached to the name for that moment it truly did not matter! I felt a twinge in my stomach and thought to myself OMG I am now going to take the name we all agreed on, and muddy the waters. At the end of the day this will be my babies name forever. It will not change and I/we really need to LOVE it! I don't want something weird but I want something that says Brian and Beth's kid, the same way Aiden Rae does. So now how to break the news to my husband AND my mom the 2 major players in the name game for me?
"UH, the pressure of a name....CINDA FUCKEN RELLA!" -Name that movie!!!

I met Brian on Friday afternoon (remember I had to have those tests at the hospital) and blurted out, babe do you love the name we already chose? He said, "yes what do you mean, oh no Beth do you not love it?" I had to tell him the whole bus story and really after I was finished he kind of got what I was saying. Even though Aiden is SUPER girly her name is not...it's just so "us" and beyond perfect for her. It is different (as in it's typically used for boys) but yet not strange like the name, Elektra or some other shiteous name. I wanted to feel the same way about this name and also really wanted it to go together. So here we are weeks away from having the kid and changing the name yet again. I have to tell you, when you don't know the sex (as we did not the first time and I have to say something I prefer) and not wanting to know this time either, but having a really dumb technician slip...I prefer not knowing. I don't know, I just did not identify with it the way you do when you know. I think it's cool that we have experienced both...BUT if we have another one after this I am certainly going back to the not knowing!

In any event, the entire weekend involved having family meetings with Aiden, myself and Brian (mom included in at least one of those) and going over the names again. We have come to the conclusion that Brian needs to sit with our choice for a moment and my mom and I love the other name we thought about, from the beginning...NOT the one we settled on a couple of weeks ago. Either way, whatever name we choose I know will suit her perfectly...just a total shit show trying to figure things like that out! You would think it would be easier the 2nd time around!

Speaking of which, you always hear how much HARDER it is with 2 kids (lucky me) but what you don't hear is how much EASIER it is preparing for #2, when you already have a #1! I said to Brian yesterday short of clothing (if you are having a different sex) everything else is pretty much the same. You know all the things you need for the 1st 6 weeks, you know the things that are major in the beginning i.e. place to sleep, toiletries, diapers, bottles, pump if you need it and really that's it...oh and a swing that damn swing saved me life with Aiden! Short of that, it all works itself out AND you already have everything that you need. I feel a lot less stressed about materials needed, apparently so...the clock is ticking and we have done very little. Do you guys or did you guys find that to be true? I mean granted 2 is very different than one but when it's still cooking in there the prep. work I find...is cake compared to round 1. I see these people walking around the baby stores clueless with guns, AH those were the days:)

On a completely different note:

I have attached a pic of Aiden and her Uncle Greggy, one of Brian's best friends from childhood. Here they are getting married (yes married) at his house this past weekend...Aiden's in her new goggles she is obsessed with and a princess robe that Gregg gave her, that use to belong to his daughter Lexi! I swear he is THE most amazing person with Aiden and I love the way they love each other...it's truly something special. I have a very similar relationship with Greggy and one that I truly value. There is something to be said for great friends just like great family, you can't beat that kinda love...and we have so much of it all the way around, I feel truly blessed!


Aight check yah later!
XOXO
BTC

MOVE OVER BABY, HERE MY ORGANS COME!

Had to go for an ultrasound...long story short had some pain...blah, blah, blah here I am...

Did you know that all your organs are LITERALLY pulled up and pushed in different directions when you are pregnant? I mean, I had read about it (in the medical books) but I did not LITERALLY know what that meant. So there I was 1/2 naked on a mobile, uncomfortable bed at Cornell Medical, with a technician who barely cracked a smile (I had Brian join because I can't really kung fu fight if I needed to, if he decided to attack me, behind closed doors ,1/2 naked...like I could if I was NOT pregnant), to have an ultrasound. OH oh, also I had to fast for 6 hours prior to the test, WATER included! Not fun for anyone, but especially not fun post 30 weeks of pregnancy!

There I was in this cold, sterile, grooooosss room taking deep breaths flat on my back for the fist 10 minutes. I felt like I was going to A. pass out from breathing so heavily B. throw up because I was so sick from not eating and C. trying to constantly crack jokes, so that I could crack the code of this incredibly weird technician. My next move was to turn over on my left side (THANK GOD b/c as many of you know it's much more comfortable) to then do the same drill of deep breathing, etc. Mind you he was using so much warming gel I felt like I was gearing up for sex with Brian with KY (not likely he fell asleep in the dark room on a chair waiting for me). In any event, the same thing went down on my right side and before you know it I had been in the room for 30 minutes; and I was finally able to roll myself off of the bed...AND more importantly finally go get something to eat!

The moral of this post is..I had asked the technician why on earth was he looking for my liver, gallbladder, etc. all the way up under my boob? AND why did I have to turn over on both sides? His response, "Everything is pushed up and over" and he continued. AH WHAT? Everything is pushed up and over? WTF does that means? So my organs that are normally resting comfortably above my belly button, etc. are now literally up and all the way around? OYE! Seriously? That painted picture made me want to vomit!

It's amazing what a woman's body is capable of going, what our bodies go through during pregnancy IS truly amazing! I guess sometimes I lose site of all of the miraculous things we are able to do. Thankfully the tests were negative and all is fine, I apparently pulled some sort of muscle while working out or it's simple stretching pain...not sure which is worse, but...

Hope everyone's having a great weekend...I don't know weekends are just not the same when you can drink! Nice QT time with the fam, but...nothing like a drink on top of it all!

XOXO
BTC

NAME THAT STRIPPER!!!

I want to know, how many strange names can you think of? What's the craziest name you have ever heard...even if this person is all grown up, does their name sound like a stripper? A car wash? Something that fell down the stairs...I want to know...Send me some of the strangest names you have encountered...inquiring minds what to know!!!

On another note...I feel so lucky, I really do...for all of the things, places, people I get to meet and know, I feel lucky. Life can be tricky, what's that saying it's not what you know it's who you know? Well that seems to be true...but the thing is, if you know "those" people aren't you one step ahead of the game anyway? Don't you have to find yourself in a position to know them...to be cultured and educated and schooled enough in your field to be surrounded by such amazing people? The world is a strange place but I feel VERY lucky to be where I am today. It took lots of hard work and dedication, lots of sleepless nights and canceled plans, LOTS of trust and then some to build a reputation that's strong enough to weather the strongest storm...I feel lucky.

I feel lucky to have gotten pregnant not one but two times when I have friends that are still in the struggle, I feel lucky to expose Aiden to all of the colors of the rainbow in a place like NYC. There is no place I would rather share my life experiences than here in New York, the giant melting pot of the world. Sometimes it's hard being different (whatever that difference might be) but I would not have it any other way. The journey of both my pregnancies have changed me as a person, and for that I am forever grateful! You learn to love differently, selflessly, and most importantly with all of your heart. You can't help those that can't help themselves...or feel guilty for your success over theirs; you can only work on yourself

So, I am thankful today and every other day...

BUT still not naming my kid after a toy, stripper, cartoon, or past ghetto movie icon...next thing you know I will meet someone named Abalonia!

Have a good one!
XOXO
BTC

42nd 9th HERE HE COMES!!!

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20412790,00.html

There are no words.....
WELL yes there are, WTF is wrong with people...
More shit on a stick...what's that saying? Shut your pie hole?
He will definitely be reincarnated as a gay, busted, drag queen...reincarnated into everything he says he hates but probably secretly loves!

TALK ABOUT RUSSIAN ROULETTE...

Russian Roulette that's the game we play when producing the little ones, we just never know what we are going to get!

Here's the thing, I come from a mixed background (caucasion mom/African American Dad) and married a very cute caucasion/Jewish man. Basically my apt. is like the UN! Given all of the color mixing we were just not sure what (now Aiden our first child) was going to look like? It's like gambling and getting the best case scenario! Given she was only going to be a quarter African American the chances of her being brown were...well slim to none! My husband wished and wished we would have a little brown baby but to no avail. We got what we got, and what we got is BEAUTIFUL! She's like this little golden child:) And what she lacked in color she made up in personality!

So there we were patiently waiting in the delivery room for her to arrive (we did not know if we were having a boy or a girl), to see what on earth we had produced. For most people, that's the biggest surprise of all...the sex, but for us we were waiting to see the shade of the baby too!!! To some that may sound just insane, but really for us it was a normal thought!

Is this weird that I am talking about this? Probably to most, but truly it is something we think about often! Now, once again with this one in my belly we wonder like any normal parent, what the baby will look like? Will the baby look like Aiden? Will the baby be the same color? Lighter? Darker? I know in my own family (I have a little brother) he is lighter than I am. We resemble one another but are 2 completely different color tones! WOW there are so many things to think about when having a baby, who knew betting on what color your kid would be...would be one of them!

I can't imagine what my parents went through in the 70's! I walk down the street on the UES sometimes and people often think I am my daughter's nanny...I S__T you NOT! A post for another time:)

Is it the weekend yet? Off to the dr. shortly. I now see her every other week, and that will soon progress into every week. This is the so not fun part, the part when you just play the waiting game. I had Aiden a couple of weeks early, so God willing this one will come a bit early but not too early! I pray, not about world peace but about that!

More to come kids, more to come!
XOXO
BTC

PREGNANCY DOES NOT TAKE EVERY BRAIN CELL FROM YOUR BODY!

How do you help people to understand that you are not stupid, you are just pregnant??!!?
I find that people often mistake your pregnancy for a "condition" that you can't "help." In other words being pregnant does not mean you can't think the same way...you might be a bit slower than you were when not pregnant but hey...the baby does come out! Why do people think the way you would normally react or deal with a situation might change? AND typically I find it is the people who are younger than you AND certainly less experienced in their field. You want to slap them and say listen, I have been around the block a few times, paid my dues being pregnant is not a handicap!

I find that some of it must be dependent on the way you look...in my business if you can't move faster than a fox you might miss out on an opportunity! HOWEVER there are plenty of people who have had babies, successfully...some more successfully than others, but I think people forget that they have mother's too...and if they didn't, well then they would not be here!!!

On the other hand there are times when I do feel completely overwhelmed by everything and the last thing I need is a dumb email from someone...but then I think, really I would feel the same way with or without kids and pregnancy. A dumb email is a dumb email! An annoying person is annoying person, etc. I like the, "never let them see you sweat" kinda attitude, and it's worked pretty well from me. Gets the job done even if I am upside down and turned around inside. I welcome the day when these people marry and have babies and are still trying to run their "perfect" businesses. I know that day will come, so I just sit back patiently waiting for it to happen...and really by then, I will be done having the kids and running the GODMAN WORLD!!! Well not really, but that just sounded like a good ending to my paragraph:)

On a lighter note, Aiden said to me today..."Mama I know you have to go pee pee but can you go downstairs I have to go to the bathroom up here...she then paused and said, "Is that even possible?" So apparently I am now the size of a mack truck to my daughter too! UGH TGIIAO (thank god it's almost over)!!!

PS: Rule #248 never let them see you sweat, because once you do...you lose all credibility!

Hope everyone's having a FABU weekend!
XOXO
BTC

GOD F___G BLESS...

REECES PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!!
I'm just saying...
xoxo
BTC

MEN WILL BE BOYS...OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...

I learned something while pregnant the first time, that's just now being reinforced for a second time...Men (straight or gay) say really dumb things to pregnant women. I am not sure if it's just because the notion of pregnancy is so foreign to them or because they are just plain stupid. It may, realistically, be the a little bit of both.

When men say things like," Better you than me" about being pregnant, I often say there is a reason men are not the ones that do this...bottom line is they are pussy's and we are not. My all time favorite thing that is often said is, "OMG your belly is HUGE!" OK fucker, well you see...I have a baby in there, and it grows exponentially by the moment, so yeah my belly IS huge. Remember your mama carried you around for 9 months or you would not even be here; need I remind them that? I think the ones that are more sensitive of course are the ones who have wives that have gone through it. I think the ones who are the least sensitive are the ones that have not experienced it second hand. In any event, it's a total shit show.

How do you deal with these types of situations? Here is one of my suggestions:

IDIOT-"Hi Beth it's so good to see you..OMG your belly is HUGE, no Beth your belly is HUGE" (like I did not hear it the first time mind you)
BTC-"Um thanks so much for pointing that out, not really...kinda where I should be for this point in my pregnancy!"
IDIOT-"Really? I don't know...where you that big during your first pregnancy?"
BTC-"I am so flattered that you remember what I was like last time, given you are a gay, single man"

At least "we" women don't have to worry about sweaty balls and baby powder!

GOD is it Friday yet? I am so needing it to be, besides being BEYOND exhausted I just don't feel like looking at anyone's face for a couple of days...including my own!

CIAO FOR NOW!
More to come kids, more to come...
XO
BTC

WHEN YOU JUST NEED NOT SAY ANYTHING!

This is the shit that makes me crazy!

http://blog.giselebundchen.com.br/en/sentido/a-importancia-da-amamentacao/

"Remember how Gisele Bundchen said that mothers who don't breastfeed their babies should be shackled and thrown into prison for the rest of their lives? And remember how you drove by Gisele's house last night and threw out a titty balloon full of spoiled milk with a note attached that read "Breastfeed on this so your bitch ass can shut up already!". Remember that? If you don't, you should go suckle on a bottle of Ginkgo, because this happened yesterday so your memory might be going. But I'm disgressing all over the place again!

Gisele went on her blog last night to clarify the "there should be a worldwide breastfeeding law" comment she made to Harper's Bazaar UK. Gisele wrote:
My intention in making a comment about the importance of breastfeeding has nothing to do with the law. It comes from my passion and beliefs about children. Becoming a new mom has brought a lot of questions, I feel like I am in a constant search for answers on what might be the best for my child. It’s unfortunate that in an interview sometimes things can seem so black and white. I am sure if I would just be sitting talking about my experiences with other mothers, we would just be sharing opinions. I understand that everyone has their own experience and opinions and I am not here to judge. I believe that bringing a life into this world is the single most important thing a person can undertake and it can also be the most challenging. I think as mothers we are all just trying our best.
The next time Gisele doesn't LITERALLY mean something, she should use the word LIT-TERALLY in front of it so we know not to take her statement seriously.-DILISTED

Take a look at what Giselle has to say about breastfeeding, and then retracting her statement because she sounded like a total ASS! From the beginning I have always said my blog was going to be about me, but that I would also try and be somewhat subjective, when necessary; whatever works for you kinda thing...but what I cannot tolerate is rampant rants about things that might not work for everyone. I mean, she should obviously stick to modeling, she's got looks but that does not necessarily mean she's got the brains!

Here's the thing, Giselle, biselle, miselle whoever the hell you are...you have a right to take a passionate stance re: breastfeeding. You can believe it in, feel it, live it, breathe it, but that does NOT mean you can be intolerant of those who do not shares your same sentiments. I think there's a fine line to be crossed in that regard and many people cross it without realizing what it is that they are saying. Why is it that the breastfeeders can't condone the non-breastfeeders, but the formula feeders don't say (or typically do not) negative things about the breastfeeders? Or if they do, they certainly do it quietly...I know I do:)

I think I finally know where I stand on this issue...I believe and condone both behaviors. It is not contingent on what I "believe" to be right, more so dependent on the mother and the child. Who am I to judge someone who decides it is indeed the best thing to do, given the proven medical history they are probably correct. On the other hand, some chose not to do it just because, some literally are not able to, and some try and it just does not work out for anyone...

In conclusion, watch your mouth! Words are powerful especially when it comes to women who are pregnant, post pregnant breastfeeding, etc. What is good for you may not be good for others and that's just what makes the world more colorful. It is such a controversial topic I doubt it will ever go away, but maybe one day we will live in a world where the breastfeeders can share the same general space as a formula feeders, and live in perfect harmony!

Awwww, the joys of pregnancy...NOT!

XOXO
BTC

NAME THAT TUNE...

I know I have talked about this before, but I must address it again...it's just tooooo juicy!

What is it about names that gets everyone so fired up? AND why is it that people think that their opinion genuinely counts? Is it possible that their insecurities about their own name, make them feel like they need to attack other people and the names that they choose? I still to this day, do not understand. IF you ask someone for their opinion it is then appropriate, if not...the best you can do is fake a smile and pretend you like it. What is the harm in doing that? If you feel the need to talk about the fact that you do not like it, then by all means please do...with someone else! Showing a family of 40 a face that insinuates you do not like a name choice...just super annoying!

How do you find a nice way of accepting things that others decide, the ones you love...without pushing your own opinions on them to harshly? Is there a way? Is there a way of accepting things even if you don't love whatever they are choosing? I think my mom did...I know when we first decided on the name Aiden Rae, she was not thrilled. She loved Aiden but was not in love with Rae. Funny enough, she loves it now...and tried her BEST to not push her own opinions on us; however, she is the mother and I think mother's can be exempted from this rule. I also think when you talk to a friend or family member and you have them involved in the choosing process, that's fine too. I use naming as an example but really it could be anything from the clothes you wear, to the names you choose to the foods you eat, etc.

Please do try and remember that we are more fragile than ever, our emotions are ALL over the damn map...so all we need is positive love and attention, anything past that...shut it!

Ah, what is that saying "Love and Light?" Yeah eff you...I need a beer!
XOXO
BTC

CH CH CHANGES...IN THE SKIN THAT IS...

I remember sitting in my dermatologist's office when I was pregnant with Aiden thinking, why are there darker spots on my body, face and then some? Why do my nails have little dark lines on them? And more importantly when did this happen if I am just noticing it now? DId I have these before I was pregnant? And if not, how do I get rid of yet another disgusting part of pregnancy!!!

Changes in your skin are normal ESPECIALLY when you have darker skin. Of course something else that I did not know when going into all of this; HAD I known I would not have felt like a total leper! I kept asking is there anything to be done? And if so would it be harmful for the baby? The first thing that I did when I saw the dark lines on my nails was google it (SO DUMB) and found that it can mean that you have some form of cancer. So, there I was super pregnant about to give birth and diagnosing myself with cancer. I called the dr. right away, paid him a visit only to realize that these changes are in fact, normal. He suggested I wait until after the baby is born and then see if the lines disappear. Well, he was right...a couple of months after she was born they did just that...disappeared. Had someone told me that these things MIGHT happen, it would have been nice.

Sometimes the changes that do in fact occur you are more privy to based on your race and genetics, i.e. skin changes, stretch marks, etc. Now that I am going through it again, I know the signs and signals to look out for, when it comes to changes such as these. If I don't tell you who else will? I'm just saying...

We have a little visitor here at B' squared today...Pigtails and all!

ENJOY your weekend, I know I will...almost at the end of this journey and VERY ready to begin the next phase!!


XOXO
BTC

"MAMA, WHEN THE BABY COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH..."

How on earth do you explain to your 3 year old daughter where the next baby is going to come from? As in, where does it come out of your body and how? According to to Aiden, the baby will be coming out of my mouth!

I have to admit that's pretty smart of her to at least realize that it will be coming out of A hole, just not THAT hole! I was very close to telling her the whole truth, nothing but the truth so help me God...BUT my mom advised me against it. Now that I think about it a bit more I would probably have traumatized her at much to early of an age. I want her to love her vagina NOT hate it! She would see me puke and figure things from your stomach come out of your mouth. Logical for sure!

How do you enter into this new phase in your life and new person in your family, positively? I have no f___g idea. You read all of these things what to say and do, so that your child does not freak out when the little addition arrives. Is it possible that you can over prepare? How often should you talk to your child about it? AND how do you prepare your husband for another arrival too? Can you really be prepared??? I have to be honest I am more worried about preparing my husband for the new addition, than I am Aiden. He finally admitted that he is much more nervous this time around than he was like last time! I said, naturally...because he knows exactly what's about to go down! How on earth can I manage his feelings when I can't even manage my own!?!?! Apparently, the person that is actually going to give birth people worry about the least. Where's my T-shirt that says, "Babies Mama Again?"

Now that I have entered the 3rd trimester there's no turning back now. Unlike the 1st time around you think about preparations much later. I have not done one thing for this child, NOT one! I am assuming at some point someone will do it for me, but who is that someone? Obviously an unrealistic expectation. It's all such a blessing but at the same time completely terrifying. I don't have time like I did last time to ponder and relax and wonder...I just have time to do! Everything is getting increasingly more difficult, walking, exercising, traveling back and forth to work, getting up (when you are down) getting dressed, showering, dressing Aiden, bathing her...I could go on and on and on...NOT to mention this oppressing heat, it's just BEYOND normal!!!

UGH HAPPY HUMP DAY!

BTC

MEN WILL BE BOYS...OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...

I learned something while pregnant the first time, that's just now being reinforced for a second time...Men (straight or gay) say really dumb things to pregnant women. I am not sure if it's just because the notion of pregnancy is so foreign to them or because they are just plain stupid. It may, realistically, be the a little bit of both.

When men say things like," Better you than me" about being pregnant, I often say there is a reason men are not the ones that do this...bottom line is they are pussy's and we are not. My all time favorite thing that is often said is, "OMG your belly is HUGE!" OK fucker, well you see...I have a baby in there, and it grows exponentially by the moment, so yeah my belly IS huge. Remember your mama carried you around for 9 months or you would not even be here; need I remind them that? I think the ones that are more sensitive of course are the ones who have wives that have gone through it. I think the ones who are the least sensitive are the ones that have not experienced it second hand. In any event, it's a total shit show.

How do you deal with these types of situations? Here is one of my suggestions:

IDIOT-"Hi Beth it's so good to see you..OMG your belly is HUGE, no Beth your belly is HUGE" (like I did not hear it the first time mind you)
BTC-"Um thanks so much for pointing that out, not really...kinda where I should be for this point in my pregnancy!"
IDIOT-"Really? I don't know...where you that big during your first pregnancy?"
BTC-"I am so flattered that you remember what I was like last time, given you are a gay, single man"

At least "we" women don't have to worry about sweaty balls and baby powder!

GOD is it Friday yet? I am so needing it to be, besides being BEYOND exhausted I just don't feel like looking at anyone's face for a couple of days...including my own!

CIAO FOR NOW!
More to come kids, more to come...
XO
BTC

WHO TO "EDIT" OUT OF THE DELIVERY ROOM, AND THEN SOME...

Here's a topic that can be a bit stressful when it comes to actually delivering the baby...Who should be IN the birthing room with you? IF anyone other than your mate!

I for one am a less is more kinda girl. I think the less stress you feel in this situation, the better off you are! I don't think it should be like picking teams for kickball in 4th grade (as in feelings get hurt if you are not picked) but more importantly what feels right for you and your partner. It's one of those situations where you can just be selfish!

How do you determine who you will want in there? It's totally individual and everyone is different, but I did not want to worry about anyone else, at all, but me! I had Brian in the room, along with my brother (prior to pushing); and had my mom and in-laws float in and out. I think at first for some reason some people thought it would be ok to invite the entire tri-state area to the birth, I on the other hand had a different plan.

The other MAJOR issue you may encounter is who do you want to visit you while you are in the hospital, post birth? Mind you, you will feel and look disgusting, you will be freaked out because you just had an alien come out of your body, you don't know how to do anything really well yet, and you are now STILL fat! On the other hand my best friend Dana could have cared less...she had all of her immediate family and then her parents best friends and us. I give her MAD props because I would have literally lost my shit!

Make sure you think about these things BEFORE you go in so that it is not a shock to anyone. You will want to know who's in and who's out...so that your husband can delegate and deliver the news accordingly. Also make sure and have list of people you want him to reach out to (at least the first time around) this time around I will just email from my own computer I am sure...but this way, you will get the word out to everyone that you are having that baby!

Bottom line is, don't worry about hurting other people's feelings. If there feelings do get hurt, they are kind of idiots anyway! It's not about them, it's about you and your husband/Partner/friend. It can be a pleasant experience or it can really suck, so just make sure you surround yourself with those who create a zen like experience!

XOXO
BTC