"THE SUN WILL COME OUT...TOMORROW..."

What is it about the Fall that makes me SO much happier than the spring and summer? Strangely enough people love the spring b/c it's warmer, you can sit outside and enjoy a drink, everything's blooming. Me on the other hand, I appreciate the cold a little bit, I like when the holidays fast approaching and all that good stuff. SO today is Wed. and that's always a weird transitional day. It's not Tuesday and it's not Thursday so it's like now what? It's not a GREAT day to drink b/c you have to be responsible for 2 more days of work. I have Aiden's Halloween party tomorrow, remember...I am the class mom. If those mothers only knew the half of it:) Happy Hump Day! XOXO BTC

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO SAY...I'M SORRY.

IT'S HARD FOR ANYONE TO SAY SORRY, especially those times when you don't even think that you did anything wrong!! You know how it goes, "sorry seems to be the hardest word"... So, yeah I am sorry for hurting people and saying not nice things sometimes, I am. I am sorry that people don't see things how I see them and how I don't see things how they see things. It would be A LOT easier if that were the case, but it's not so sometimes you just have to say you're sorry and move on. I have a hard time with that, I am sure they do too; not to mention I can't hide my feelings on most occasions so it's hard to LOOK like everything's fine when you don't feel that way! I hope everyone is having an OK day, it's "Terrible Tuesday" and we know how that story goes. XOXO BTC

""WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE STOP PLAYING NICE, AND THINGS GET UGLY..."-THE REAL WORLD"

What happens when you feel like you REALLY, REALLY know someone, and then they fail you in some way. They shows sides of themselves that you did not even know existed, and when they do...are those things that you can get over? How do you deal with it, move on, and still maintain some sort of relationship; and is that even possible? I am beginning to think that CAN happen, even with those you are SO close to. The question is do you want to continue having that relationship, and if not then what do you do? Ever wish you could just turn your mind off? Literally say to it, please quiet yourself down for a moment so that I can think? OH and without meds of course:) I wish I could turn it off tonight, this week, this month, this year, last year. Off to watch Revenge so that I can feel normal again, vs. people are are clearly crazier than me! XOXO BTC

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT...

It's funny, sometimes people can just READ you. Read you in a way you would rather they not! It's like they don't like you and you don't like them, but nothing is really ever said. It's always been that way for me and a "teacher" from the past. Most people walk away from school and then never come back, never have anything to do with their school...I (strangely enough) am not one of those people. I think to myself now that I am adult why do I still feel that way? Maybe because you still suck? ANYWAY... As my 20 year high school reunion approaches I wonder what it will be like, who will be there and do they even really care? More importantly, why do I care? I am still friends with my group so it's not like we don't see each other, but then again it might be nice to see people I don't see every day too! And then of course not so fun to see people I don't give a rats ass about too:) It's Monday, and boy does it feel that way. I cannot WAIT for this month to come to an end, it's been HORRIFIC!! XOXO BTC

GIVE ME A BREAK I SURE DESERVE IT IT...

That's all I gotta say.

YOU WANT TO MAKE IT, EVEN IF YOU'VE MADE IT!

The strange thing is even if you have made some sort of success for yourself...you always want MORE! I don't know if that's something that is innate, OR you feel success so you just want more of it. Either way, I always want to DO more, BE more, WORK more!! HOW to do it is really the more important. I think that's my next conquest, WHAT is next for me! XOXO BTC PS: TERRIBLE TUESDAY WAS OF COURSE...TERRIBLE!

"NOBODY KNOWS THE TR0UBLE I'VE HAD..."

Does everyone think this month blows? I mean I know I have said this in other posts but really it super sucks!! I am now on the way to a root canal dr. b/c this same fucking tooth has literally bothered me for like 5 years, NO joke! Lends a whole new meaning to getting to the root of the problem:) SORRY I could not help myself! Yesterday we walked for my best friend Carrie's son, Sam. WHAT a treat it was...and so inspiration. she and her family are just amazing! Hope everyone's having a better Monday than me! XOXO BTC

STANDING THE TEST OF TIME...

Is there ever a time in ones life when you are not tested but something OR someone? Do we ever "pass" the test? And once you "pass" the test, then what? Life is clearly one big test, but sometimes I Want to say FUCK YOU to the test! Lets see in just 24 hours my mom fell running after one of my kids, my business partner AND PR Coordinator have the stomach flu, I got my period, Lila finally got over some cough/fever shit; AND my husband and I could not BE more at odds. That's like a month long series of tests. Then there are those who are REALLY and TRULY tested daily. People with MUCH bigger problems than me, like terminal illness, no money, no family, etc. Who am I to think that my tests are more significant than those who are truly tested? You see at the time, you don't think about those really important things. All you think is this BLOWS and why the hell can't things just go slightly in the right direction!! Today is Thursday, which means it's closer to Friday, which means it's closer to the weekend; which also means Monday is around the fucking corner! UGH XOXO BTC

WHY ARE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE SO DUMB?

I mean really! WHY is it that so many smart people are...stupid! I mean I am so not a rocket scientist and I don't claim to be GREAT at anything, other than maybe my career; but I there are far too many people who are smart/stupid. I could write an entire book just on that alone! Case in point... There is a person who will of course remain nameless, who has the ability to act like a total self loving, SNOT! She walks like her shit don't stink, she talks like her shit don't stink, she is just an all around self loving, A #1 BIOTCH! I know what you are thinking...tell me how you really feel? :) But really, I want to tell people to shut the fuck up daily, hourly, BY the moment actually, but I don't. I DEF. don't over the phone to a client, I def. don't to friends when they drive me nuts, and I MOST CERTAINLY don't to someone in the industry. People are crazy, and when you call them out on their bullshit it makes them irate. I can sometimes relate to that actually, I don't like when people tell me I am not listening to what they say...so I have plenty of my own faults. HOWEVER, those I am holier than though types need to take a step back and wonder why they have so much conflict! I cannot imagine that it does not spill over into other areas of their lives, I can't be the only asshole that has to deal with their shit!! ANYWAY, enough about the bitches of east wick/Eastside:) I hope everyone has a lovely night, it's hump so you know what that means...the weekend is NEAR! XOXO BTC

A DOG WITH A BLOG

I love the name of that show my kids watch, it's so...weird that it works! I have been thinking of what else to call mine, but it does not have the same ring to it when it's not as funny? You know seems way too predictable! So today is Tuesday, I have to be home again today b/c Lila is sick with fever; and if it's not me who else would it be? It's amazing to think that now I don't have the help I used to have so any deviation from the normal plan involves me dropping everything, and being there. In theory it seems normal, but when you run a business and you don't want to be home...it's a bit of an adjustment! "Terrible Tuesday" I hate this fucking day more than life itself. Although this month, every day seems to be like "Terrible Tuesday." I have come to the realization that I no longer like one of my best friends husbands. I mean what is that about? I think he's passive aggressive, annoying, may even be gay for that matter and still manages to take the love my friend has for him and stomp all over it; in front of other people. It is amazing, once I get something like that in my head it makes it very hard to leave. Question is will I ever voice my opinions to her? And if so, is that even appropriate?? I would think not, but what do you do when it's the person you tell EVERYTHING to? I have a lot to think about, but for now I am just trying to get through the day! XOXO BTC

LIFE IS HARD

It's really amazing to think about what people have to endure, with just every day life. One minute things are just moving along nicely and the next, shit happens. The storm was my FIL's surgery, the after math is really the worse! There were some complications with his surgery (as there are in so many other cases), and so we are still not out of the woods. We are just at a place where he is somewhat awake but not fully out of the woods. Life is hard, it's hard for him, it's hard for us and most of all it's hard for my MIL. It's nice to know Brian has a big family who gives lots of support. This month's horoscope did mention that it was going to be a VERY hard one; for everyone. I am praying that he makes it through without too much damage on the other end, b/c this is going to call for rehab, etc. Hope everyone starts the week off to an ok start, lord knows mine is NOT! XOXO BTC

OCTOBER NEEDS TO JUST FUCKING END!

It's barely begun and this month already sucks BALLS! I read every horoscope known to man, even ones from people I have never even heard of; but none the less everyone's saying this month is going to BLOW! AND so far, everyone's dead on target! October needs to just fucking end! I can't even WRITE! JESUS H. xoxo BTC

DONT HATE ME...B/C I AM SLACKING:(

I GET A D- LATELY, I REALLY DO! And I mean that in ALL areas of my life. I get a D, b/c I have not been the best blogger I could; well all things considered b/c technically I am not a blogger:) BUT I can't seem to be 100% in ANY area of my life at the moment, and for someone like me that's really hard. I am 1/2 assed with just about everything and everyone can pretend like they don't see it or don't know but that's such a crock of shit! HOW can I BE better, DO better? Did I mention that I am also Aiden's class mom? OH yes I am. I am her class mom, so that's another thing I will fail miserably at...or at least fall short, and being new that's not such a good feeling. It's Monday today, and doing EVERYTHING under the sun I still could not make it in. I can't even go into the reasons why, but it's RIDIC! Hope everyone's having a better Monday than me, Astrology Zone said my month's going to suck...so far she's RIGHT on TARGET! XOXO BTC

LILA JAMES IS 3

WTF where did the time go? I remember so well the day she was born and it really feels like so long ago in so many ways, and so recent is so many other ways. It's hard to remember life without her, or either of my kids for that matter! What did I do all day? What did I do all night and on the weekends? I mean it was all about me, and that's THE most insane thing to think about! ANYHOO, I made cookies for her little class and she will have ice-cream cake here with her family. I love her so, she's my little boo. She is THE biggest pain in the ass on so many levels but she's my boo. I love her to death, she will always be my little baby! I hope everyone's having a great Thurs. you know tomorrow's Friday so that makes today tolerable. XOXO BTC

I need

A change...what that is, will let you know KNOW! XOXO BTC