JUST SAY IT LIKE IT IS!

You know when you are supposed to see someone and then something like a tsunami happens? I mean it doesn't literally happen but there's that moment when you know it won't happen, just like every other time you are supposed to hang? Yeah that…what do you do when that happens? You make better plans!!! But when do you say enough is enough and no longer put any energy or effort into your relationship? Like when do you realize you are a good friend to a person who's not such a good friend to you? When do you just say it like it is, and how? On a completely other note... The Holiday seasons hard for so many people, it's like a double edged sword. You love all of the holiday decorations and music but the reality is the Holiday is hard. Putting family together all the time, spending more money than you want to admit and then making a ton of plans with friends and family to pack it all into that week between Christmas and New Years. You eat things you don't want to eat for another 12 months, you drink more than your liver can take…all the while putting on a happy face while doing it. Ironically people are more depressed during this time than any other time a year…and the worst is Jan. to March, might as well hang it up and hibernate until the spring b/c it's the fucking WORST!! Add in the snow, freezing temps and all around shitty weather and you have the post-holiday blues. On that note, we are off to 2 best friends today/tonight b/c you know there's nothing like packing it all in:) HAPPY HOLIDAYS! XOXO BTC

"LETS HEAR IT FOR THE BOY!"

We clearly have to be the biggest cheer leaders for our kids, but sometimes I just wanna sit back and relax. Is that bad? I think to myself can't I just relax while you play with yourself? It just never happens, like EVER! Take today for example, I have to do a work call at 10 AM and then take Lila on a play-date for a few hours. I mean it gives her something to do, and I can talk to adults but at the same time I just want to wear sweatpants all day and stay home! I am looking forward to the coming weeks of family and friends, celebrating the holiday and not thinking about real life. What I am not looking forward to is post holidays, when everyone is super depressed and it's freezing up in the place! UGH i would like to knock out months Jan-March and just wake up in April when it's warm again, and everyone's exciting about the idea of having drinks al fresco. And so it goes…UGH I am hungover and exhausted and it's only fucking Monday! XOXO BTC

TAKE MY ADVICE WILL YAH?!?!

It's THE single most annoying thing when someone asks your advice, like really asks…sets aside time to talk to you, values your opinions and then doesn't remotely do what you suggest! That is BEYOND BEYOND if you ask me! Welcome Monday lord knows I love you! XOXO BTC

"SHOOTING AT THE WALLS OF HEARTACHE (BANG BANG) I AM A WARRIOR….."

I LITERALLY feel that way almost everyday in the area I grew up in. As I get older I feel further and further away from the type of people I used to call my friends, realizing that I always felt different because I WAS in fact different. I don't even think it was so much them making me feel that way, I think I just felt that way b/c it WAS that way. I am now sitting in the same town, looking for a home and clearly not committing to one b/c I don't even fucking like it here; but then there's that part of me that shouldn't and doesn't care about them, but has to see them AND THAT is super annoying. I think to myself would it be better to move to a completely different state? And how far would I have to go? I don' want to leave the best friends that I have had my entire life that live in the general vicinity of where I live, and oh my family too of course. Makes things a bit more complicated. I think that's what I loved about the city, the anonymity of it all was fantastic and you just saw who you wanted to see and ran into who you wanted to run into (on occasion there's always a one off) and there were all different types of people and schools; I just loved it. I know there were things about it I didn't love too, but those were things I could easily overlook. I am sad that there's not a place in NJ that exists with GREAT schools and everything that I want, that really good mix of people it's forcing me to think outside of the box that's for sure, but it also makes me sad to think that for the better part of my life I wasted so much time being friends with the wrong people. "TERRIBLE TUESDAY" is in full affect! XOXO BTC

"ISN'T IT IRONIC DON'T YOU THINK!"

WHY is it t

hat the holidays are just so hard for everyone, no matter what you celebrate? No for real, why are they so hard?? Everyone is supposed to have all of this good cheer and really it's far and few between. Everyone is spending more $ than they have, annoyed at all the holiday plans, AND don't forget my all time favorite the increase in caloric intake is BEYOND anything anyone wants to remember. "Isn't it ironic, don't you think?" I do love so many things about the holidays, the most fun is giving gifts to those you love:):) But I am really just so sad for those who can't share in the same joy, and who's lives are feeling off kilter during this time of year. It seems to magnify it all. Sending thoughts to all of those who are feeling down, there is always someone in the world thinking about you! XOXO BTC

WILD, WILD HORSES

It's been such a strange start to the month of December. 2 NOT 1 suicides this week, and it's just devastating no matter what you relationship was with or to them. You wonder how someone could be in such a dark, dark place, make one decision and then just like that, it's over. You wonder how they can torture the people that they love for the rest of their lives, just so that they could be a peace. You feel incredibly sorry for them, but in a really weird way you can for ONE split second understand the depth of their sorrow. Those moments when you feel like you can't breathe, BUT what do you do…you breathe, you move past it and do the very best that you can, everyday. You get up, take a shower, take care of your kids, work and wash, rinse, repeat. I am so sorry for all of their family and friends, just a really weird week. BTC

SUSAN MILLER'S GOT IT GOING ON!

What is it about Astrology that we all turn to? Or at some people do? I mean cosmically there's got to be more than a little truth to what they say, so why are there nay sayers? I mean don't you live you life by your daily horoscope? Don't you plan out your month based on what she says, and then when it does in fact happen say things like, "Susan Miller said that would happen" like her word is the word of God? Whomever God really is? Today is Dec. 3rd and even though she was a few days late, I was glued to my monthly read. I mean I literally sat in my kitchen and read it out loud, always think that like school I absorb that a bit better. I truly believe what she says is true, and I wait patiently every month for the next one…but in theory if I am doing that, does that mean I am not paying good enough attention to the month that I am in; and the things going on? Today is Wed. I need a drink but I don't drink during the week anymore, so I will settle for a dark chocolate chip I have to make my famous cookies. #loser. XOXO BTC

SANTA, I'VE BEEN BAD!

OMFG I don't know why every year I tell myself I am not going to overeat on Thanksgiving and every year I do and feel like I am going to fucking hurl by 6PM. UGH it's really disgusting and I swear my body is like WOOOW WTF. In any which case, it was a really peaceful holiday. The weekend was great too, family, friends, etc. it's always nice to have 4 days like that, you actually forget what it's like to spend that much time together. I am trucking like crazy to get this book in on time, so it leaves me very little time to be on here. BUT HELL it's WORTH IT! #terribletuesday XOXO BTC

THE CRAZY WORLD WE LIVE IN

It's a weird morning after the verdict of the Ferguson case…I don't know, I am really happy I have 2 girls at the moment b/c if you have an African American son; this hits you EVEN harder. BTC

CHALK FULL OF IDEAS

NOT really, hence the delay in my last post. All my good stuff is going into the book, which means it's not going on here:):) ANYWAY, it's Holiday time. I used to LOVE it when that festive feeling was in the air, now I can't seem to find the festive feeling anymore. All I know now is that I end up spending a shit load of money, and hear my kids say, "I want" about a gagillion times within an 8 week period. I want to love it, the food, the tree, the lights the love but I just don't get that same warm and fuzzy feeling anymore. So sad but so true. It's Monday, you know I can't wait until Friday. DUH! XOXO BTC

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

Ain't that the truth? Considering how long I have been waiting, something is going to really rock my world! Ran into an old friend today at Starbucks, been happening more and more lately considering I am back in the same area I grew up in. Some of them I dodge but some are really nice to see, and I always really liked this guy so it was kind of pleasant. He's the same person just older and with grey hair. Same face (sweet), and just an all around nice guy. Still yelling BT across the place, I felt compelled to correct him that it was BTC now…come to think of it, did I even kiss and hug him hello? Wait yeah I did. I am finding that when I run into the guys it's so nice, and I just dodge the fuck out of the girls. Not many of them are interesting enough anymore, nor were they then so why spend the time connecting again even for a moment…if it's going to lead nowhere? I am sure many people would disagree but it's just the way I feel! I really do loathe the girls bullshit! XOXO BTC

NURSERY SHMERSURY

It's weird to think that I never really got to decorate a nursery! THink about it, when I had Aiden she slept in our room until we moved to a bigger apt. At which time I got pregnant with Lila so by then Aiden had a full on room; and Lila slept with us. We then moved Lila into Aiden's room and it just got insane in NYC…then we move to NJ, and we are at my house I grew up in, looking for our own home in an area I can't even choose and the kids are now bigger. Brian and I go back and forth about having another baby, all that all over again and are we too old? BUT wouldn't 3 be the perfect number or does it just make it odd having 3? Anyway, I never got to decorate a nursery it's sad when I write it down. It's also terrible tuesday and I have been incredibly bad about writing on here; due in part to the fact that my book is due on Jan. 31st and that's all I can even think about, or write about! UGH XOXO BTC

I'M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

I TRY I really really do try to like a girl that one of my best girlfriends, is good friends with. I try so hard and to no avail something's just off with her! I can't quite explain it, but it's there every time we speak. I make an effort to say hello, have a conversation, etc. but it never really feels genuine. I want to think that my friend is friends with her for a reason, but it's so hard for me to understand when I kinda feel like she sucks! Well I shouldn't say sucks but she's EH at best. I think as I get older, I realize that there's a certain type I was one attracted to, or surrounded myself around that I no longer appreciate; or like for that matter! I can't really pin-point it in writing because it won't come across the correct way. It's interesting coming to terms with things like that at my age, you think why and how did I waste that much time with so many people that sucked SO bad!!! UGH it's Monday, I am hungover and will choose not to have another drink until Friday…oh well:) XOXO BTC

THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER

I miss drinking during the week. The boozy lunches, the cabs back to my apt toasty and then to continue toasting as the night progressed and the kids went to bed. I miss hailing taxis to go back and forth to my office, and really to go back and forth anywhere for that matter!! AAH I miss it so much. The most sterile part of living in the burbs is the fact that you have to drive everywhere, it's a fucking pain in the royal ass. Luckily I have a greatly great man who drives most of the time, oh unless I am pregnant:) I miss those days. I don't get as saucy as I used to at all anymore, and it's sad but true. Now my life consists of picking up my kids smack in the middle of the day, so even if I wanted to and have the change to I couldn't do it. Today is Wed., hump day. I remember in HS Wed. was our late day. We got out of school at a different time, everyday and Wed. was until like 3 or 3:15. Which on the tail end meant that practice was later, and then I would get home from school even later, to then have to do my homework even later…was annoying. NONE the less, it was also my fav. day of the week. Just getting over the hump meant the week was progressing and the weekend was near. I miss that too, waiting and pining for the weekends to have some fantastic plan with friends. Now it's just birthday parties and kids shit everywhere, AAAH life…it's so grand! Until next time… XOXO BTC

HONEY, I HAVE TO GO AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS….ON BUSINESS.

OK obviously I understand the need to travel for work, that I get; however that does not mean I have to like it. I never cared, he would go away I would get the wine and then some and just chill! Have girl time with my friends, have them over, drink, watch trashy TV, stay out late talking to girlfriends, etc. And then we had kids, it all went to complete shit! Every time he says he has to go away on business, my body gets really tense and I want to scream at the top of my lungs! I still know that it's necessary, and I still know that he has to go but I want to punch him square in his face every single time! Because in actuality, to me, it's a mini fucking vacation!!!!!! If I had the chance to get onto a plane, have a cocktail, wake up at 7, work out in the hotel gym, eat the continental breakfast and do it all over again for a few days I would fully consider that a vacation; maybe not in the traditional sense but it would be a vacation from my life, literally. At first when I made comments like that, Brian thought I was nuts. Then I think he thought about it for a while, and it kind of backfired for me. He started enjoying the trips more, after I pointed out that that is exactly how I saw it. He realized what I was saying was kind of true, and so he decided to look at it like that too. There are a few things that I get to do when he is not here, and so that's a bit of a vacation for me too, but I wake up in the AM and the shit's the fucking same up in this place! UGH Today is Monday, it all starts to blend into each other that days that is, but it is technically Monday; and for the first time in a really long time it feels that way! XOXO BTC

GAY IS TO MIXED AS MIXED IT TO GAY

A totally strange title I know, but a light bulb literally just went off in my head. I can relate to sam sex couples who feel different walking down a suburban street. Meaning, I understand what it feels like for people to think a lovely gay female couple are "sisters" when in fact they are a couple. I understand how hard that can be, and also understand why people may think that to be true. It's the exact same thing with me when I am with my girls, Lila especially. I am never the mom or rarely I am always the nanny. Just makes sense to everyone that I would be. The link below is to a partial interview that Jillian Michaels did with Health Magazine, speaking of these types of struggles. I wish too sometimes I was with someone who looked more like me, ONLY for that same reason. You would be at peace in that area for just a moment. I don't know why people don't get that, and especially don't understand why the gay community would go after her for a comment like that; bottom line is she's fucking right! UGH people WAKE UP! Today is sat. I am sitting in bed watching Alice in Wonderland with Aiden and it's like heaven! XOXO BTC http://www.people.com/article/jillian-michaels-statement-gay-out-comments

T T TITLE TITLE T T T T TITLE TITLE!

We have FINALLY nailed down a title for my book, the working title I LOATHED so this feels REALLY nice and REALLY freeing:) It's amazing that something so small (in terms of how much text), can be THAT important! I mean clearly the titles speaks volumes, but similar to naming a brand it just takes so much time. ANYWAY, it's Thursday so that means it's closer to the weekend which really means nothing for me, b/c it's all the same SHIT! XOXO BTC

"GRAVITY…IT'S WORKING AGAINST ME!"

I have to be ok with the fact that I am not 25 anymore, and what you put in is not always what you get out! CODE for, you get older and everything is just harder to fucking maintain! Work out HARDER (when I already was an animal), eat LESS when I already ate like a bird on most days, wear MORE makeup when the thought of caking things on my face makes me want to vomit and last but not least, make sure and nip and tuck so that when things fall down you can pick them right back up! UGH! Today is Wed. I love this day, always am really into smack, middle of the week. You feel like you are 1/2 done with things but you also have 2 more days to get your shit together. It is terrible to think that you are also closer to the weekend, so you have mixed emotions about wanting to be with you kids BUT also not wanting to be with them every freaking moment of the day. Oh well at least I do! HAPPY HUMP DAY! XOXO BTC

THROW YOUR BALLS IN THE AIR!

I think I am juggling too many moving parts, all at one time. Nothing gets done 100% when I work like this, but at the moment there's really no other way! Sometimes I think if I throw all the balls in the air, the "correct" balls will land on the ground; in just the right form. Somehow that's yet to happen. I have so many hopes and dreams, some obtainable some not, some I have reached some are in the not so distance future. I hope that drive to succeed will always be with me no matter how many balls are in the air. Until next time… XOXO BTC

THE REALITY OF IT ALL

It's the pits when you come to the realization that things are not what they seem. It's almost impossible for people to move past these things, the daily things in life that disappoint us! You know that feeling when you think something is one way and then it turns out to be another way? For example a friend you thought you loved and trusted lets you down, you buy a car you think you are going to love and then you hate it…but clearly too late to do anything about it. The job you've been waiting for for decades, turns out to be everything you thought it wouldn't. That town you moved that you thought you could learn to love, b/c you loved the house so much…is not at all what it seems. I think I fear all of these things b/c I have either experienced them, OR know too many other people who have. Does the reality of it all ruin your daily outlook; or does it help shape a perfect opinion so it spares us from making the wrong decisions. Story of my fucking life! Today is Sunday, had a nice relaxing day with 1 kid..the other one had bday parties all day! Was really lovely if I do say so myself:) Enjoy the week, the end always brings the weekend around! XOXO BTC

SPEAK UP!

It's amazing how much you have to be involved in your child's school, how much you have to advocate to make sure the school is on the same page as you. It's important to know that your voice HAS to be heard, you need to speak up as it relates to anything involving your kid! I am so pleased to say that Aiden's school has taken every measure, to ensure she is happy and thriving at school. Coupled with some of her ADHD and her anxiety it's not an easy thing to do daily, but they do it…and they did it with a smile. Brian and I had a meeting today to make sure she could apply for more testing time, and thankfully they agreed. She will no longer struggle to take her test in the time allotted she will have unlimited testing time. To all those parents who don't want to address their kids issues, or administer meds b/c you think you are taking the easy road out, step in our shoes for a day and see how easy it is for your kid to function. Remember, it's NOT about you it's what is good for your kid. If there is a way for them to feel better about themselves on the daily, then make it happen for them, PLEASE! HAPPY THURSDAY! XOXO BTC

TARGET IS TO ME WHAT CRACK WAS TO THE STREETS IN THE 80'S

ADDICTED THERE IS NO OTHER WORD ON THE THIS PLANET! I am 100% obsessed with Costco and Target, if I had to shop at those stores for the rest of my life I would…literally. I go in there and it's just a little bit of everything that you need, even when you don't know that you need it. It's deadly b/c you go in and you are like ok gonna spend like 150 bucks but you walk out of there and you've spent 300!! That was my AM today. I now feel complete, ridiculous! It's Monday but I guess that just means we are working towards the next weekend. I left my glasses at my in-laws and of course they will send them back to me ground not express. Gotta love it! XOXO BTC

1,2,3….4

Little Lila James will be 4 years old tomorrow, I have VERY mixed emotions about the change of age! First of all, there's that part of me that wants another baby and then reality sets in and I know well that ain't gonna happen! I remember looking at one of Brian's Aunts when their son was about that age and think why do they baby him? Why do they care if he gets older? All I have to say at this point in my life, now that I have my own kids is I GET it! You want to preserve that innocence that's still present before the age of like 5. You want them to stay your baby as long as they possibly can before they turn into little people. Once that's done you know that part of your life is really over and that freaks the fucking shit out of me! I want so badly for them to stay at this age, I mean hell I want to stay at this age too:):) Happy Birthday my little love Lila. You can be THE biggest pain in my arse but I like you SO stinking much! Your weekend will be full of friends and family to celebrate your special day, and I hope it's everything you want it to be! Cheers to the weekend! XOXO BTC

THE MOST CONSTANT THING IS CHANGE

I don't know HOW the world works STILL and I am nearing the end of my 30's. I always thought that at a certain age I would "get" it, but life always throws the most incredible curveballs and you never know what you will be thrown. The most constant thing, is change. I think that I can handle things really well, and then BOOM this wave of feelings come crashing in and I can't quite catch my breath. I know that everyone goes THROUGH it on the daily, so my problems are not more significant than theirs, actually mine at the moment are trivial in comparison to many of the things my friends are going through…but it does not make it anymore tolerable for me, while I am literally in it. The fact of the matter is the basic and easy way to shake things like this for me is not a cocktail or a pot cookie (although those things do sound delicious), it's time with my best girlfriends. It is the ONLY way that I can survive the bad feelings, is sitting and laughing with them. It's the first day of Breast Cancer awareness month, and I plan to think about everyone going down that horrific road called Cancer…on the daily. Nighty Night! XOXO BTC

201

I am dumb founded at a magazine, in my area called 201. It's a local publication and when I say local I mean LOCAL, and I am reaching out to them for a client/friend. While I am building Who's The Babe with Beth, I agreed to help a few small clients in the interim, on my own. Currently I am working with me AMAZING dermatologist, helping her brand her image and reaching out to media outlets to spread the word. I recently emailed the EIC of the magazine 201 and it is completely amazing to me that these local outlets have egos WAY larger that the editors at the major monthly magazines. Maybe they are trying to prove something, maybe they think that their balls are bigger, maybe they think that they really are that great…and really not even sure why I am speeding time writing this, I am just amazed at the attitude I just got from this bitch! It's Wed. so that means hump day, closer to the weekend but not that it really matters b/c it's Yom Kippor. Not sure what the meaning of it is, I mean you are supposed to remember the dead (fine), but you are supposed to do and and repent your sins but cleansing and not eating. I would literally need a year of that, to repent all my sins. Seems a little bit like a crock to me…but hey we know I am not a religious person so don't go by me! XOXO BTC

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

I really miss those trips with my mom, that we use to take to visit colleges. Sounds so weird,and slightly out of place but I miss that time alone with her, just us. We would take those long car rides stay in mediocre (but clean) hotels and eat crappy food at places like Denny's and Howard Johnson. We visited states like Massachusetts, VT, D.C. and fantasize about where my final destination would be. Little did we know I would be at two different schools, in two completely different states. Nothing seems like the straight and narrow when it comes to me, we always seem to take the more complicated route. I miss that time with my mom I really do, and think about the times I will be taking Aiden and Lila on those trips; with Brian of course:) It's amazing to me that so much time has passed and we never get that time alone anymore, nor will we ever. I miss taking those trips I really, really do! Today is "Terrible Tuesday" and we know how much I love that! The day started, is and will end just like I anticipated…CRAPPY! UGH XOXO BTC

"WE ARE FAMILY…I GOT ALL MY SISTERS WITH ME"

work is and always will be a HUGE part of who I am; but on the same hand so is my family. I wanted to be able to be everything to everyone, do it all but as we know…and I have mentioned before, it's just not that easy nor is it at all possible. At some point something's gotta give for the ultimate amount of happiness. There are so many ways I would like to balance my life even better, the pendulum for me just seems to lean one way or the other not exactly where I as a Libra want it; in the middle! There is something to say about balance, that feeling that everything is in the exact correct spot, there's something to be said for being in perfect balance. Question is who the fuck is ever in that position? Tomorrow is "Terrible Tuesday" the one day a week I always feel way less balanced, so I am incredibly excited it is coming so quickly. YIPPEEE XOXO BTC

BEAM MY UP SCOTTY

That is how I feel when I am with certain friends, that I could touch the sky I am so high on life. I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have them, come to think of it I can't even fathom what it would be like, nor do I want to! I am really thankful for them everyday, and know that's it unique to have such good ones. I think to myself if I had had better friends growing up (with the exception of camp) I would have been SO much happier; and wouldn't hate myself for being friends with a few major assholes. Oh well woulda shoulda coulda. It's Sunday night and I know I have mentioned how I don't have those Sunday blues anymore. It's actually really liberating but I feel guilty about it too, b/c I know Brian still goes through those emotions. I know it's hard to do the same shit day in and day out EVEN when you like what you do. It becomes a well oiled machine but at the same time it's like driving the same car for the rest of your life; just not as interesting and exciting. My honest goal is to have my husband be my manny, I mean how hot does that sound? HA! XOXO BTC

FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED

Been a little delinquent on here lately, just means I don't have a hell of a lot to say; clearly not common for this gal:) I am SO fucking hung over, WHY I proceeded on throwing back tequila shots while I was drinking wine at the same time is BEYOND me. I want to work out so badly and I know that I should but I don't even think I can force myself. The kids are with my in-laws so I will mil it for as long as I possibly can, and then pull the work out trigger when Brian goes to pick them up. I sinned last night having FAR too much booze, kill me now! I woke up this AM with no kids and I have to say it was quite liberating, but at the same time I think to myself at this age, if you don't have kids WTF do you do with all of your time? I am already bored and it's not even 10 AM yet! I love spending time away from them, and having time with Brian but then I want them to come home b/c I miss them so much! UGH I literally think I could puke…more later! (ILLIN) XOXO BTC

BORN DAY

It's really weird to think that this will be my last birthday in my 30's, so much of my 20's I remember and it felt SO freaking long. NOW I just think back to when I got pregnant with Aiden, my 30's had just started and I had 10 years ahead of me! It's insane to think back and recognize how long ago that was, because it honestly feels like yesterday! It's so true, the older you get the fast time goes. I have such a love/hate relationship with this day, I know that I never really love it…even when I was young enough and going out to celebrate. I feel like it always marks milestones and then things that I wanted to, but have not accomplished this past year. AND got knows that list still exists and is actually quite long this fucking year! Happy BORN day BIOTCHY BETH! XOXO BTC

I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I

I know THE most selfish individual on the face of this planet, and what makes it worse is that I don't think he thinks there is any other way to be. You know the type, the one that thinks everyone's out to get him and if it's not done the way he wants it done and when then you are the problem. YEAH that type. The one that can't understand that things can't happen always exactly when he wants it to happen; that life just runs around the circle they sit inside of…yeah that kind. I think it's worse when you can't connect on a personal level like you can't relate to each others lives. The reality is I DO have kids and I AM married, I can't go and do as I please, life doesn't work that way. As amazing as it is to have children you give up your own life for them, which I am FINE with…but it's just the way that it is. I feel sorry for him, I do. It's the kind of thing he will realize so late in the game that no apology will change the behavior. NOT to mention when you can't eliminate someone like this from your life, all you do is resent them. Sad but true. I think that people need to understand that when you can make something happen, you will and if you can't you just can't and you have to be ok with the word NO. If you don't hear the word NO enough, when you do hear it it does not sit well with that person. I am annoyed, frustrated and just about out of patience with this one…not WHAT???!?! UGH Happy Monday! XOXO BTC

WEED THE BAD ONES OUT

Now, my title can mean a few things! WEEDING out the bad people in your life is integral to your mental health! I mean I think back to all the girls that did such awful things to me, and want to punch MYSELF in the face to wake me the fuck up! I did not feel like I really got it right, until I was in my 20's; POST college. I still could not figure out what girls really loved me until I graduated. I don't know why girls need to be cruel, I mean I do not…clearly when they felt badly about themselves it was easier to make other girls feel that pain. I often run into one of these girls on occasion and for some reason she always seems so happy to see me. I on the other hand want to run for the hills. I think maybe she's not so bad anymore, and then something comes out of her mouth to remind me that she is the same bitch she was when we were 15. I wonder if SHE knows she's like that, and if so does she care? Then I think about a few people I am not longer friends with that I actually really like. The problem is that they are attached to the ones that I don't like, you know like backup singers. Sad but true. Listen, I am no angel. I said and did things to people more often than I would like to admit. I would like to think that some of them deserved it, but certainly not all of them did. You know the girls that fucked our boyfriends or the girls that acted like they were holier than though, those. I did and said things I am not proud of but am hoping that some of those things that people didn't like, was simply speaking my mind! Now I can confidently say my girlfriends, my best friends are the people that keep me going. They are the ones that make me smile, make me happy when I want to jump off of a bridge. I am thankful for my girls, and I am thankful that most of my girl WEEDED their bitches out; OH and I am happy a lot of them smoke WEED too:) HAPPY FRIDAY (almost)! XOXO BTC

WHO'S THE BOSS? BAD BOSSES?

I mean it was the BEST show in the 80's, but SO not what I am talking about in this entry. Why is it, that some bosses need to put others down, to make them feel better? Why are so many bosses full on narcissists? SOME even admit to becoming "that" type of person. It's strange to me that so many authority figures feel as though they are exempt from real life, simply because they run a company, make a lot of money, etc. Clearly they are lacking in some way, in other areas of their life to make them act this way. They don't simply act like this, just because no matter what their position of power is. I mean the President of the fucking US doesn't give that kinda of bravado off, why would someone who simply owns a company. AND it really does not make a difference how much money you make, everyone should be treated like a human being, regardless. I wonder when do these people become "these" people? Is it always present from birth it just needs to make its way out? Do others build them up so much that they then really believe they are THAT great? AND why can't they be deflated? I personally would love to deflate them, come to think of it I think at one point or another in my career I have probably hit this head on. On more than one occasion I have wanted or actually have called them out on this insane behavior. At the time it was probably totally out of line, but at the same time completely appropriate? Like an oxymoron…but one that makes perfect sense! It's hump day, and I feel like doing ANYTHING under then sun other than humping. I have a horrific cold that both my kids gave to me, and back home again with Lila who is running a fever, on top of coughing. It's a fucking train wreck up in here. Here's to a MUCH better Thursday and a MUCH needed weekend to drink my sorrows away! XOXO BTC

PRIVATE OR PUBLIC

It's an ONGOING battle in my head, what situation is best for my kid. I know sometimes you want what you are familiar with, but at the same time is there a better choice depending on your child? I am going to go out on a limb and say YES there is. I am struggling, STRUGGLING at liking Aiden's current school situation. People ask my why, they say things like it's a great town, with GREAT schools, etc. but why don't I agree? WHY am I not feeling the way everyone else is telling me that I SHOULD feel? Aiden is a complicated case, she's not the norm when it comes to getting up and going to school everyday. It's rough for her, harder than it is for most kids. I often think that if she had individual attention, and was not 22 kinds in a class with one teacher, that she would benefit from that sort of setting. I know that it's hard with so many kinds, being a teacher who does not loose their cool; or a teacher who simply can't handle all those student, at that age, at one time. I mean shit, I couldn't, but then again that's not my job. MY job as a mom is to advocate to make sure my kids have everything that they need. That if there's an issue I address it, if they are unhappy I find out the source of their unhappiness, that is what you do as a mom…as a parent. BUT when it all gets to be too much and you know in your gut you can change things, at which point DO you make those changes? We are at that point right now with Aiden, private or public. It's an internal battle where I need to come to some type of outward resolution. Stay tuned, I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting ride!

"HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME…"

It's amazing to think we live in a society where men hit women. To think that it's condoned or covered up in some way is incredible to me. Clearly there is a right and wrong thing to do, so just don't do it! I have not been paying SO much attention to the Ray Rice situation b/c once you learned he knocked her out what more is there to say? There is only more to DO. I also think the fact that the NFL is trying to deny they saw the video is stunning. They know DAMN well what went down, aimed to then cover it up AND on top of that say they never saw it. It has to come down to money, what's good for the team and the fact that pulling a player off the field during the beginning of a season, could potentially harm more than just the team he is on. I feel badly for his wife for having to go through all of this but more importantly I feel badly for her that she made the decision to stay. I can't judge and I won't attempt to because I am not her, and I am not in that situation; BUT, I feel the most upset about the fact that for whatever reason she does not want to leave. I am not sure if this will be an eye opener for just her and the league or for everyone, society in general. You would hope that would be the case, so women who don't feel says can somehow feel safer. It's Thursday Sept. 11th today, that faithful day we lost so many lives during the attach on the World Trade Center. I remember vividly being at Oprah Magazine early for a shoot, when the first one came down. I was already down in Chelsea at my then apt. watching the 2nd one fall from my roof. I was that close, but yet far enough away to feel the affects of the smoke, debris and then some. I watched people covered in ashes and blood walk through the lower west side streets and into St. Vincent's (not closed down) hospital. The care centers set up, the flyers with peoples names on them praying for any survivors. I can't even fathom what it is still like for those families…I only pray they have the strength to get through this day every year, and know we are all praying right there with them. God speed. XOXO BTC

HERE WE GO AGAIN….

It's that time of year when the kids starts school, everything feels and looks fresh, and more importantly I get a really great BREAK from my new life! I can't really remember what it is like to just go and do as I please, b/c I always had help with the kids; and that didn't exempt me from doing the motherly things, it simply allowed me to do ADDITIONAL things; and still be a mom. I am not sure that I was as attentive as I would have liked to be, but simply b/c I had clients and ran a business. HOWEVER, if there was ever a time I needed to be there or simply wanted to be there, I could. You take for granted some of the things you are able to do with full-time help, and then at the same time I don't even think that it's necessary for me to have it now! Clearly we don't have someone. There is that part of me, that would like to run out for a moment without throwing the kid/kids in the car and not relying on certain people to watch my kids. At the same time, it's so far and few in-between makes no sense to have someone sitting here from 9 AM to 6 PM while the kids are in school that entire time minus 2 hours a day! You know? ANYway. It's Monday, and it always gets me down…even though I don't answer for anyone else but me. Just makes me kinda sad. BUT the good thing is that Terrible Tuesday is right around the corner and we know how much I love that! XOXO BTC

ATHEIST NO MORE

I will start this entry by saying everyone that knows me well, knows that I am far from a religious person. I think part of the reason I am the way that I am, is because my parents really did not want to confuse me more with religion; when we were already dealing with the mixed race thing. I also think that my observation with religion has always been one filled with so much prejudice and judgement that it was hard for me to see what each religion really meant! It was doused with so much shit, that to uncover what was really there would take far too much time, and that would mean someone would have had to enlighten me in a very special way. Needless to say, I attended a Baptist church memorial service (my best friends brother-in-law died suddenly on the 25th), so Brian and I went to pay our respects. The MOMENT you walk into the church or even the surrounding area of the church (this one happened to be in Harlem), the vibe is just different, accepting, open, loving. It was also kinda nice to be the majority in the room and not the minority if you know what I mean:):) In any which case, I was SO moved be the ceremony, the music, the pastors, his brothers from his fraternity, the families who attend that I can honestly say it felt very at home for me. NOW my mother is Catholic and my father was Episcopalian so this is NOT an area I am well versed in, BUT honestly it did not matter. When I walk into a Temple I feel like I am from literally from outer space and it's not a jewish non-jewish thing at all, it's a welcoming thing for sure. I feel ostracized and small. Even during funerals, everyone is crying everything is SO sad, it's just horrific…with this, it was a celebration of this young mans life taken too short. A celebration in his honor with music and laughing. It was simply amazing. As I write this I reflect on my own life and I want to be remembered. I think about who would attend my funeral out of love and honor and not just because they had to. Where would I be buried? Or would I at all? What kind of ceremony would I want and would I want it to be non-denominational? I mean I would b/c that's who I am but there is a LARGE part I would love to take from the Baptist church simply b/c it's beautiful. A very interesting evening, one I could not have imagined but feel blessed to have attended. May you rest in peace Kevin Forbes, for you were sincerely loved by all of your family and your peers. XOXO BTC

DETENTION

I honestly deserve it! I have not been at all communicative lately on this, and it's not for lack of WANTING to but literally just forgetting! I can't say I have had SO much on my plate or anything, just managing the kids can be incredibly more tedious than I remembered when they got OUT of school. My life has shifted in a few ways and now I have had to concentrate on a plethora of other things, that are quite different from anything else I have ever experienced! The combination of selfishly enjoying the shift, paired with terror with not knowing what's around the corner has been a BIT exhilarating! A whole new chapter, and ones that I am in complete control over…and THAT is fucking cool as as shit. Aiden starts her first day of 3rd grade tomorrow, and I am BUGGING a bit for her. I fear for the way school becomes so much more competitive and ugly, and as a girl it's THAT much harder. Thankfully her best friend Sharon is in her class so I feel slightly better about it; AND her teacher is supposed to be amazing. SO lets reconvene after tomorrow (if I can remember), and I will download everyone on her 1st day! Let the school girl begin! XOXO BTC

COME FOR THE RIDE, OR GET THE HELL OUTTA THE CAR!

What's that really annoying saying Tereasa Guidice uses on Real Housewives of New Jersey? "Haters gonna hate?" I think the single most annoying thing that people do to other people, is doubt their abilities to get things done. I guess there is always going to be those people who ACTUALLY can't do things, but you see I am not so when people (and some of them I know extremely well) doubt my ability to get things done…I get extremely frustrated. I should really say that it infuriates me actually, to say frustrated would be far too kind. Have you ever had a night you thought might go one way, and ends up going a completely different way? I mean it's "Terrible Tuesday" so clearly my day is going to go as planned (shit storm), but I don't like being blindsided by my man, saying things to the effect that I could BE more, DO more when the lot of women he knows DO nothing! UGH FUCK HIM, FUCK EVERYONE! xoxo BTC

ADIOS SUMMER, HELLO FALL!

I mean I know it's not technically the end of summer, but it sure as shit feels that way! I am kinda ok with that, b/c it's literally my FAV. time of year! I do also have to admit that I use to like it a bit better, when I did not have kids (kind of like everything else), b/c I could just enjoy the weather, drinking in the warm/cold weather, wearing cute outfits at night, all that shit! And clearly I can't do that anymore, now it's about paying for the girls parties and fucking homework UGH! Just being honest. It's Tuesday tomorrow, Aiden is freaking out about school and there's just a shit load of crap going on…wishing Brian was home so he could go through it with me, but alas he's not. He's at his freaking football draft!! ARG! XOXO BTC

WHEN HE COMES HOME I LOVE HIM MORE

I do, I love him more! I love my man oh yes I do, I love my man but love him way better when he is new! Meaning!!!! When he goes away for business, I love him more when he walks through the door. I reach for the glass faster than I can give him that kiss when he walks in…alive. UGH just a thought:) XOXO BTC

I LIKE A PARK JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT PERSON

Today I spent the day bringing both my kids (and Aiden's friend), to a place called Van Saun Park. It's a little zoo, train that you ride, a merry-go-round and a GIANT park that consists of tennis courts, a park for kids, etc. Sounds amazing right? NOT! In theory it would be great to spend the day walking around on such grounds, seeing the animals, riding the train, but think about it. Wouldn't it be amazing to do it alone? OYE so bad. I DO enjoy doing things like that with my kids, sans the fighting in the car, the screaming, putting them on dirty toilets, sweating my freaking ASS off getting them in and out of the car, strollers, etc. As I write this, I actually feel guilty saying that I did not fully enjoy that time…and that I can't wait to hang with my girls this weekend (with kids of course). UGH I feel like a terrible person!! It's Thursday tomorrow, closer to the weekend (even though all the days blend into each other) just makes me feel good when I say the word FRIDAY! Monday, Tuesday, WTH. BOOYA! XOXO BTC

SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT GET IT

I know in most cases unless you have experienced something yourself, it's hard to really know what people go through. Like you feel badly if a friend loses a parent, but you REALLY get it if you lost one yourself. OR if someone has a child with special needs, you can only IMAGINE what it is like you can't REALLY feel the full scope of what it is like. I find that people who don't have kids have a hard time understanding what it takes to raise a person/persons. It's like they kind of get it, but they can't fully understand what it is like on just about every level. I am not saying there's anything wrong with that, it's just something we as parents have to cope with when you have to deal with people who can't really relate to you. It could be a friend, a sibling, etc. it's just fucking annoying A LOT of the time, and when you insinuate that is the case they get mildly offended that you would even think that. Problem is, it's true they just can't seem that all the time. I recently made a plan with a childless person, who was taking my child to do something. The plans got crossed over with an important dr. appt. which would affect the plans that we did make; AND I know that's super annoying. HOWEVER, the dr. is that much more important than the activity so they get annoyed that I messed up the plan (and it is annoying), but I get annoyed that they can't understand the appt. is very important! UGH It's "Terrible Tuesday" today so you know what that means…this day is gonna BLOW! XOXO BTC

"EASY LIKE SUNDAY MORNING…"

I can fully remember sitting in the car with my father, listening to the Commodores singing, "easy like sunday morning." We would harmonize beautifully and sing the entire song together, each taking the parts of the song we knew we were us! I miss that, singing with my dad. Due in part to the fact that my mother has THE worst voice on the face of this planet! Today is Sunday, I know I have talked in some of my other blogs about that Sunday blues that I no longer get, that I know most people deal with every single week. I feel incredibly thankful that that feeling is gone. I woke up to rain this AM, and given there are just a few more weekends left before summer is over is kind of a bummer; BUT I also enjoy the rain on a Sunday morning. It just seems appropriate, rain on a Sunday morning. We spent the weekend at Brian's parents to enjoy the pool, family, friends and it was really nice. There is a part of us that understand the possible joys of living down here, but then we think it's an hour away from NYC so how would that work for us? We are forever in the city, Brian still works daily in NYC, how would we really LIVE here. I am not loving being back in Tenafly, in fact I kinda loathe the area. I know it's close to New York, it's a nice place to live, the school system is like #3 in the state so for all intensive purposes it sounds good…BUT it's not. It's clearly not about me, it's about what is best for the kids yet I am not sure that it even IS the best for the kids. In a perfect world they would go to prep school like I did, have really nice friends that are not affected, and know the value of a dollar. That's my goal in the not so distance future! Have a restful Sunday! XOXO BTC

ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER….

Of course it's true that I stand out like a sore thumb in oh so many ways…so many different places. But when you stand out like a sore thumb in your family, it somehow makes it that much worse! I don't really know what my husband ever really saw in me? I mean we are so completely different to the core, that I sometimes wonder how we really got together? I mean SO many people who are married are basically one in the same. They look alike, they come from the same backgrounds, they are the same religion, race, I could go on until the cows come home; but you get my point. I don't see those major differences as much as I used to, but they are definitely still there. I think when we include extended family, it's SO apparent. I think to myself if I see it, there's no reason in gods name HE does not see it; or "they" don't for that matter. Then something happens, and it's oh so clear. Marriage is TOUGH, it's incredibly rewarding but it's also SUPER tough…kind of like starting a new business, but like every day:) TGIF! XOXO BTC

HAIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW

Clearly this is not an important post, but I am kinda wanting some of my hair back and it has to grow. :) I LOVE it short, I have always been a short hair person but I guess I am simply not as cute as I used to be! SO I want some of my freaking hair back. I am obsessing about how long it's going to take to grow, and how it will grow out? Do I cut in during the grow out process? Do I just leave it and let it grow out awkwardly? This is the shit I am thinking about today. While there are MAJOR issues in the world, this is what is on my mind. UGH how much do I suck right now? Onto the next thing…that thing being Thursday, which is always closer to my favorite day of the week…….FRIDAY! XOXO BTC

"TOP THAT"

"TEEN WITCH" changed my life!! I mean that fucking movie rocks me to my knees and brings me back to my childhood….and I mean that in a good way! Today is "Terrible Tuesday" so I threw that shit up on Instagram for shits and giggles and it was a HIT! NOT that I am at all surprised, but it really is the WORST/BEST movie ever! It's that part of the week that I hate, the one when I Don't go into NYC everyday so it's lovely…but at the same time I am not forced to be at the beck and call of any of my clients! I have everything in the world to do and nothing at the same time. I can find the dumbest shit to do, and then realize I have WAY more important things going on that need to be taken care of, but if there is not REAL deadline, and no REAL priority how do I prioritize? UGH! Oh well, tonight we are off to dinner with one of Brian's best girlfriend's who is in town. I don't like drinking during the week, but I won't turn it down either:) HOLLA! OMG that sounds awful. XOXO BTC

JUST DO IT!

I don't know, Nike really did get it right when that slogan came out! Am I the only one who emails back right away? corresponds to get things done right away? Wants results as soon as possible? My business partner and I always say that we were always the first to address an email, answer an email, deal with an issue…while so may other people simply DRAG their ass, EVEN when in many ways conversations could/would benefit them too! It's SUPER fucking annoying, as is everyone on earth to me this AM. I knew it was going to be that kind of Monday when I Am dealing with all this little (yet important) stuff that I really want and need to get done, doesn't. Isn't that always the way the week begins? Kind of in-between on all the projects and I have never been good at standing still! UGH Monday, FUCK YOU! XOXO BTC

THE RING OF FIRE

I don't know, I think Johnny Cash had a pretty good handle on this world, WAY better than me anyway. He was really able to throw some interesting (but clearly good) lyrics out there, that still stick to this day. "and if burns burns burns, the ring of fire…the ring of fire." It's TT today (Terribly Tuesday) and boy does it ever feel that way! SO many decisions, so little time. I guess life is always throwing curve balls, the question is not IF the it throws you curve balls it's more what you do with them when they are tossed. That sounds totally weird:) GearWe will all get through this, the day, TT but lord it feels like the world is on my shoulders. Clearly I am all about the lyrics today! HA! XOXO BTC

ONE NEVER KNOWS…DO ONE.

NOT sure if I have used that title in the past, BUT it's kind of amazing to think you just don't know what's in store of you next…in life. There are SO many things that make up what our future is, it's impossible to forecast the entire thing. I am thinking about seeing a psychic I saw one once and she really nailed it all on the head! I am afraid at the same time to face some things in my future, b/c that probably means something that is presently happening may not turn out the way I am anticipating. I mean that's life after all right? If we knew everything that would come then the most constant thing in life could NOT be change! HOWEVER, there is that LARGE part of me that wants to see what's around the corner, what door will open next, which one might close. I want to know those things so I can figure out where to put MORE (or less) energy…I NEED that, or so I think that I do. Question is who to go to? ANYWAY, it's Monday and fucking Monday blows…Tues. is DEF. no better, but maybe the world will seem brighter by Wed. and I am sleeping over a bestie's on Thursdays (girls only none of my family and just one kid and no husband on her side) so the week could NOT go by faster!! Until tomorrow. (or quite possibly the next day or the day after that). XOXO BTC

THAT GIRL…YOU KNOW THE ONE!

Why is it the girls that actually don't sleep with the friends boyfriends, are the ones that get the most shit…and then the ones that actually do sleep with girlfriends boyfriends get away with it; AND are still friends with the people they basically fucked over. (literally). Weird how things work like that, I think to myself if they only knew…and clearly everyone makes mistakes but that's def. not a mistake I ever made, and I have made plenty of them. We spent the weekend in AC with friends, a nice departure from the norm…WITHOUT the kids, which was DELIGHTFUL:) It was fun, I am not a super fan of the area, nor do I really love to gamble but a fun night none the less with best friends! See yah MANANA! XOXO BTC

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

Do you remember those days in college when all you had to worry about, was where you were going out that night to drink like an animal? To make sure you were up for class and prepared for some test, and then back to partying? You had nothing to worry about AT all, but yourself and even there you had your parents/parental help (if you were lucky). I miss those days like no other, the days you only worried about yourself! NOW I feel like I worry about everyone else BUT me! Today is Terrible Tuesday, the only redeeming thing about this day is that Brian is leaving for Chicago for a few days so I get some sort of a break:) AND a little help around the house while he is home before leaving for the airport (so lovely). Can't wait for the weekend…I think it's everyone's saving grace. We are AC bound with friends for the night (sat. to sunday) and I could really use a little alone time with my man! XOXO BTC

MONDAY MONDAY...

SO I used to wake up on Monday AM, or rather Sunday morning feeling like full fucking shit, pissed that I had to go to work Monday AM. I would think to myself it can't always be this fucking annoying to go to work, because you see ME I actually like to work! THANK GOD today is Monday, and I don't feel a BIT like I used to…there was even a moment with clients' when I felt that way (and I lived for doing my own thing), but now it's REALLY all about me. I am going to actually pat myself on the back for a moment b/c I don't do that like ever, and just bask in the glow of the things I am working on creating. HOLLA! (ew that so sounded like Heather from The Real Housewives of NYC). XOXO BTC

PICTURES DON'T TELL THE WHOLE STORY

WHAT is it about today's society, that every AMAZING moment we have to stop to take a pic? I guess we were always like that, but at the same time we took the pic and then we were done until we exposed the film. Nowadays we take a pic and it's instantaneous for us to post it on some sort of social media outlet…like IMMEDIATELY! ME included, but really what's that about? We capture the moment but they way in which we capture the moment is different, b/c everyone can see it RIGHT away. Some better than others, some edited, some not. I am not sure I like this time, the way it's done I mean it's great to connect with all my friends, but we are (and the younger generation for SURE feels this way), so engrossed in posting it that we forget to enjoy the moment. Had a lovely girls night out down at the Jersey Shore, makes me miss those precious times with good friends…and NO FUCKING MAN OR KIDS! XOXO BTC

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

It's weird, sometimes I am so excited for something to happen and then the actual day comes and it never lives up my expectations. I am not sure if I hold the candle too high or if the occasion is really not that great? It's weird, not sure if anyone has any idea what I mean but it's just a feeling I have and one that I have often. Makes me feel like sometimes I want TOO much or expect TOO much, and then what's offered is in fact very little. Some things just never change, I think I have always been this way. A little skeptical a little cynical but always hopeful. XOXO BTC

WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN

Isn't it funny in life anytime things are looking bright (or brighter), something comes along to fuck it up again? It's just funny how life works that way…I had that happen today. I don't want to jinx it or make it worse by even identifying the issue, but it's annoying that things were really progressing nicely and then BOOM some shit has to hit that same damn fan! SO typical for a Tuesday but not typical for a Monday. ANYhoo….the weekend came and went, spent it with my besets friend in the entire world and her family, was very lovely. There was ONE thing (issue), when another family "stopped" by…the mesh of kids DID not work. I am used to throwing these girls into any situation and having it, well work! Along came this family with 2 kids, and one of them royally fucked the happy rotation. Needless to say it was a bit of a shit storm for 2 hours, and needless to say hoping I don't really have to see them again until one of their kids parties! AWFUL to say, BUT TRUE! My kids are certainly not the BEST kids in the world and they have their faults as does everyone, but this was a whole new level of annoying. Makes you wonder if they have any other friends? OYE to say the least! Hoping the week does not suck as much as today did…could really use a drink but it's Monday and I try to hold out at least until Tuesdays! XOXO BTC

"AND THE BEAT GOES ON…DA DA DA DA DA DAADAA DA DA"

Eminem really knows how to throw down THE best lyrics. Just a nod to one of my favorites:) So, there you have it…that's a wrap! B2 office is officially no closed (in NYC with the exception of a client or 2), and onto BIGGER and better things. I owe my career path and success of the past moves, to the next chapters I am about to embark on. It was strange at first (first few days) to change my settings to home and not the office, but have just as much to do in such a different capacity. To concentrate fully on myself (and legitimately)is an odd feeling. It's Tuesday, and you know what I call Tuesdays (Terrible Tuesday),that shit ain't gonna change. HOLLA! XOXO BTC PS: that's the most fucking annoying thing that girl Heather does on "The Real Housewives Of New York." INSERT VOMIT!!!

MOMMY DEAREST

I love my mom, let me start by saying that. We are the best of friends, she has always been my go-to person for everything, no matter WHAT! I would call her first over Brian ANYYY day of the week, and often thought how could I get through my life without her. NOW I think God might be letting me know I can and will be able to live without her GOD FORBID that were to happen. Our relationship is just not the same at the moment…and I can't quite pinpoint why? It's super frustrating being ships that pass in the night, we see each other so infrequently where there is quality time spent, that it's hard to maintain a relationship…similar to a friendship that requires work. It's sad to think that the person you thought was like A is really like Z, a far cry from the type of person you relied so heavily on. I think part of my problem is that I sat her on a pedestal that did not really exist, like she was never really that person. She's a WONDERFUL person but she's got her faults just like everyone else. We NEVER fought I mean NEVER and if we did it was incredibly short lived. Now I think most of the time we keep our distance and when we do talk about something we argue about whatever we are talking about. I am devastated to say the least. ANYHOO….I got bigger fish to fry. My last official day in my office at B2 is tomorrow, it's bitter sweet b/c we have so many things in the works and it's time to focus on us, but at the same time it's like sending your baby to college…you just have to shed a tear. With a heavy heart today. XOXO BTC

THE GOLDEN YEARS

If they say the Golden years happen when you are a senior? WHY does it feel like Golden years when you have been married (or together), WELL over 20 years? Is it the "Golden Years" prematurely in relationships? It's Sunday night, the kids start camp tomorrow which is a good thing…considering Lila playing with me one more day might make me dumber and her, well dumber too! I can focus on the launch of company #2 and get on with writing the rest of my freaking BOOK!! I can't believe it's the end of June already, the summer flies by SO fast b/c everyone is always having the best time…but I selfishly love the Fall best. So really I have fun for about 6 out of the 12 months in a year. To another fun filled week, YEEEES! XOXO BTC

GIMME A PLAY BY PLAY

I need a full on play by play of all major events in my life. I like to know exactly who things go down, what's going to happen, how it's going to happen, how I can prepare, etc. I am not sure that everyone likes it the way that I like it, and I know that life should offer elements of surprise, but I do like a path of knowledge in most cases. Pregnancy, marries, my latest how book publishing works (agreements, ghost writers, etc.). I feel so out of the loop that I don't know what is and what is not normal. I know totally random post. ANYway, it's Friday tomorrow and I am feeling so scattered lately…I am neither here no there. I am both coming and going, and everyone is just on edge every which way I turn. I guess you can say I am just experiencing life. XOXO BTC

WHOMEVER THE GREAT

See, here's the thing! You can be GREAT at what you do for a living, like the BEST in the business but be a totally sucky boss/manager. It takes such a specific skill to manage a team of people and not everyone has it. These skills are not ones that can really be taught, it's kind of like cilantro you either like or you don't…you are either good or bad. I think it's MORE important to be a GREAT boss/manager than it is to be GREAT at your profession. Think about it, you can hire people that are as good as your OR better, if you can manage them properly. As a business owner myself, it's so fucking annoying when I see GREAT businesses with bad bosses, WHAT a waste of time. ANYHOOOOO, it's Wed. and I cannot wait for my kids to camp:) XOXO BTC

OFF BALANCE

I know my sign is the cardinal sign that always needs balance…and honestly it does feel weird when I am not balanced. But then it's hard to always stay SO balanced b/c well life happens. I think we as a sign take on the brunt of things b/c we are everyone's therapist (and we LOVE to be), we want everyone to be happy and will stop at nothing to achieve that, not to mention we ourselves never get a moment when WE feel off balance; b/c to the outside world we are ALWAYS balanced. Personally I hate that feeling, like LOATHE! It's Monday always feels great to wake up and realize it's Monday right? NO fucking way, it BLOWS!! THANK GOD the kids start camp next Monday b/c I am honestly getting dumber by the moment. XOXO BTC

FATHER'S DAY…NOT JUST ANOTHER DAY!

I love this day, you celebrate your father and/or your husband…it focuses on the person you love but not you, and I love LOVE doting on someone else! It's a hard day for me too…I miss my dad A LOT and for some reason can't remember a lot of things but always remember Fathers Day. I always thought this is that one day a year, that he loves us SO much and remembers why he got married 3 times and had 4 kids, b/c he WANTED to be father. Sad but true. I hope everyone that celebrates enjoys the time with their family. Love to all! XOXO BTC

PAIN, PAIN GO AWAY

It's hard to see someone you love in pain, and in pain a lot of the time. It affects every area of their life and then inadvertently affects you too. Why is it that the pain pain won't go away? Not sure what's worse having something quick and painful, or long-lasting dull pain…it all sounds horrific! Tomorrow is Thursday, and the start of camp cannot fucking start fast enough! I LOVE my girls (in this case Lila b/c Aiden is still in school), but I do need a break from these little biotches too. I need a little adult stimulation too and at the moment there's not much of that going on with this girl. I am ready for the weekend, it's Fathers Day (never really fun for me), but you know after Brian and I got married and had kids it's made it much more bearable. Sat. will be with friends for a bday party and an afternoon of fun, I need it too…nothing like being with your best friends (preferably your best girlfriends). I am exhausted, EXHAUSTED!! Nighty, night! XOXO BTC

WHEN IN DOUBY SHOUT IT OUT

Sorry, have had my head up my ass for the last few days, so have not had a moment to check in with myself:) I hope everyone's day is way more eventful than me, home with Lila until camp starts…YIPPEE! Lets not forget about work, the new company and getting my book in on time, b/c I know less important than my boo…and yes really less important, I wish everyone else would just understand that too! HA! IT's another week, starting off with lots of rain and lots of shit to do but SO looking forward to being in NYC tomorrow day through night, and ending the day having a few drinks with one of my besties!!! Summer is fun in SO many way, and then you stop and think of all the plans and people you get to see and it makes it even MORE exciting! I found out some interesting news the other day, a couple I am more than familiar with is separated; and has been for some time I guess under the radar. It is a an odd feeling to be at the age where some marriages don't work out, but at the same time we are certainly deep into that time, so it's not THAT weird. Does that sound weird? :) Wishing everyone a good week, will be back soon! XOXO BTC

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOO!

And I am NOT referring to Brian. Happy 43rd birthday to my REAL boo, Mark Walhlberg! This video sums it up, and Jesus H. Christ it make my fucking day! http://vimeo.com/20854428 Nothing gets between ME and my Calvins! XOXO BTC

I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLS….

I do sometimes wish I could be the califorina girl. The girl that can just relax and chill, and let shit happen. The one that can tune out for a moment to work, and just BE…but alas I am not. I am the opposite of that, I am the one that NEVER shuts down and can't even get out of my own way sometimes. It's sad but true, and I think even when I DO check out I am never fully OUT if you know what I mean. Why are some people programmed one way and some the other way? AND can we change and become more like the other way? It's Tuesday (and honestly it could have been more terrible:), but it's a weird feeling in the office while the walls are bare and all the samples are being returned to clients! I don't really know what to do with myself in there but at the same time there's SO much to be done! It will be strangely awesome to just think about my brand for a change, and not changing the world for any other brands. I am in the middle of a detox and could really use a glass of red, may have to break it for one little treat:) BON VOYAGE, or until the next time! XOXO BTC

AND THAT'S A WRAP!

There are those times in your life that you always think, that will never be me…I will never be at my 20th HS reunion, and then all of a sudden you ARE that person, old enough to be at your 20 year. IT's weird I think prep school is amazing in SO many ways, the friendships are so strong b/c you are with the same people for your entire life, BUT at the same time there are those who have that sense of entitlement after attending schools like that, and their elitist attitude only gets worse with age…and by this time, you can hardly stand seeing some of them; or relate to them for that matter. I had a GREAT weekend with friends, the same ones I have known for my entire life and am so thankful to have; but would have been cool to have seen some of the other people I don't really talk to anymore (other groups), and catch up. I am not on Facebook so there's a lot that I guess I miss about what's going on, in other people's lives. The weekend has now come to a close, and the fact of the matter is I am going to always run into people I just don't care for, question is how often at at what cost! HAPPY SUNDAY! XOXO BTC

HOW DO I LIKE YE, LET ME COUNT THE WAYS…NOT!

Everyone can be completive in their own way, whether it is with other people, with themselves what have you…everyone has a little bit of it, in them. I think my edge comes when I have to deal with PR people (whom you can say are "like" me in some way), and I just don't like them; but then I think to myself do I sound like that? B/c then really I don't like me! ANYHOO, it's Wed. better known as Hump Day, and my 20 year HS reunion is fast approaching (like this weekend:). Looking forward to seeing some old friends, and dodging others! The weekend is near! XOXO BTC

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME...

I have this reoccurring dream that I just LOOOVE! It's a GIANT group of my best girl and guy friends at a bar, you know brown bar, irish pub like; where the locals frequent weekly to come and sing some karaoke! AND the best part is there is a contest that I ALWAYS win, LIP SYNCING! It's like my DREAM (literally) to have a karaoke party where everyone is WASTED, having the best time…on a boat that sails around Manhattan. When this book blows up, that's what I am gonna do! And you know what you are all invited. Lets not forget about our troops this Memorial Day weekend…enjoy time with your friends and family, but never forget those who fight for our freedom in this country. XOXO BTC

ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER

Why is it that if certain people can't get something from you, then they can't really be bothered with you anymore? I can't imagine only be friends with people who offered things that helped or "bettered" me. I hope that all of my relationships whether they be male or female offer MORE than just things; actually I know that they do. I feel fortunate in my life to have those types of relationships, the ones when I need ANYTHING at all they are there…and miss all the times we used to hang out more, before kids. It's hard fitting it all in, for sure in a day let alone a weekend, so the ones that I do have are very special and quite unique. On a totally different note, I see some people that I know (not in my industry), launching businesses that already exist in so many ways and I think to myself is that just to pass the time? Or do they really think that they are doing something different than someone else? AND is that bad that I am even thinking that and judging them in some way for doing it? OR really are people just satisfied having something to do, and not a career? CLEARLY that's fine, I guess for me I just can't really relate to those types of feelings. AGAIN, not that they are bad at all, I just don't know what it's like not working towards something you want to be really big and really successful. I would say it's in the genes. This weekend is Memorial Day weekend, the one I always say is like a cock-tease to summer. It's never really warm enough for like pool weather, but warm enough to BBQ and drink outside with friends. As per usual we will be spending it with the Leshin's and other members of the crew, and really I would not have it any other way. Happy Happy Hump Day! XOXO BTC

RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS ALWAY GET ME DOWN

JESUS H Karen Carpenter said it RIGHT! Still home with the sick little one and we are going on a week tomorrow night. It's not easy seeing your kid so sick, and so helpless you are just not sure how they are ever going to feel better! NOT to mention your entire life is on hold, while dealing with all their needs (clearly as a mom that's totally ok!). I am just exhausted, every part of my business has had to go on hold, not sure which piece to pick up first or which way to turn next? NOT to mention, the poor other kid who is basically neglected (and feels that way anyway), b/c all of your focus and energy is on the sick kid. I should NOT complain there are people who go through SO much more, have kids WAY sicker than mine…so really I need to shut my pie hole and get over myself. UGH Here's to Monday Monday! XOXO BTC

PRAYING TO THE PORCELAIN GODS

THE only thing that's worse than being sick yourself, is when your kids are sick! It is so hard to watch them suffering, not to mention it throws the entire week off enormously!!! Little boo has the stomach flu, vomiting, fever. I feel horrible for her and hope she gets better soon! Today is Thurday and I was sick Monday (with Aiden) so this week is just one big shit storm! Funny how my husband does not get sick and really he (I think) is the one who could use a swift kick in the ass now and again! I miss those days when the weekends were all I looked forward to, party with friends, no work, kicking more than a few back, etc. OH well…Is what it is ain't it! Love to all! XOXO BTC

THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS...

Happy Mother's Day to everyone who is a mom and has a mom! I do feel for those who have lost their mom, there is just something about this day…and to those who can't for some reason become a mom, my love goes out to you too; Lastly for those who don't want to be a mom, you just don't know what you are missing:) Today I am SUPER sick and so is Aiden, so Brian took Lila to his family and I am with my mom and 1/2 my litter. It is kinda sucky to be honest, don't really feel complete without being a WHOLE unit, but hey it is what it is. Hoping everyone is with the ones they are supposed to be with! XOXO BTC

THE END IS NEAR...

Is it bad that I am kinda ready for the end of one company, to launch another? To end the commute to NYC that I barely do anyway? To be slightly thrilled to concentrate on one client and that one client is me? I mean I know literally that's not bad but there is also a part of me that feels guilty that I feel like this. On a totally non-related note, I got a chemical peel yesterday at her dermo, after I had the 2nd kid my skin went to total SHIT and I am determined to get my face back in order. Now it burns like a mother and apparently will begin to peel on or around Mother's Day. YES!! Hope everyone is having a nice Sat. I think it's time for a cock….tail. XOXO BTC

"ONE NEVER KNOWS…DO ONE!"

Ain't Misbehavin said it right, you just never know what some people are going to be like! You think you know but you have no idea. UGH! It's Friday, raining and we have a dinner with a couple that I don't know (business on my husband's part). PART of me wants to go b/c he it's a night out sans the kids, but the other part of me is so not interested and would rather put her sweats on and watch Law & Order on DVR. The weekends blend into the weeks now, and there seems to be on reprieve! It's lovely that it is Mothers Day on sunday, I do feel especially happy that I am a mom, you know the hardest thing you will ever love kinda deal. It's a day to spend with my girls and just get showered with love, I can't imagine not having children…BUT certainly not judging those that don't. Partly b/c if they don't have kids they don't even have a clue what they are missing! Spending Sat. night with one of my BF's from HS, so that's always a good time…that TOO will be when those rugrats are in bed! Wishing everyone a very happy weekend…obviously don't do anything I wouldn't do. XOXO BTC

JOIN THE CLUB SISTER

While perusing the websites for my clients, I came across this: http://www.people.com/article/kim-kardashian-racism-essay-kanye-west-north-west Clearly this is a subject I am passionate abut AND have experience and will continue to experience my entire life. It's hard coming from all different angles and all different prejudices, but it is clearly the world we live in THEN, NOW and I am praying NOT the future. Thursday always has a nice ring to it…having drinks with an editor after work and then home for the weekend. Looking forward to 3 days of non-stop kids, YES! XOXO BTC

ARIBA ARIBA!

IS THAT HOW IT GOES? OMG this is my FAV. day of the year and I NEVER celebrate it anymore! CINCO DE MAYO! The one day of the year I can use the excuse of loving tequila more than sex, and NO ONE judges me!! OLE! SO here's what I am gonna do. I am going to go get myself some skinny girl margaritas, sit at home doing homework with my older kid, bathing and feeding my younger one then put her to bed, hang with the older one put her to bed and drink IN My bed, my tequila. I will watch a show with Brian IF I have time and then pass out b/c what else can I do? NOT to mention tomorrow's "Terrible Tuesday" and I have a really annoying meeting to BOOT! What are you doing for Cinco De Mayo? Clearly a need a trip to Mexico sooner rather than later. OLE! XOXO BTC

MONDAY MONDAY...

It's been a long ass time since I did not want to wake up and go to work, deal with clients, life in general…but tonight is one of those nights, I don't wanna do it! I am thankful that the time is drawing near to soley focus on WHOS THE BABE! AHH, also means we have a shit ton more work to do, but it will all be for one thing…US!! Monday Monday! XOXO BTC

Happy Friday!

CAN'T EVERYONE JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME?

So many times in someone's life you want the people that mean the most to you, to be THE most supportive people no matter what decisions you make. Some will be good decisions some will be bad, but you need those people by your side. In work, it's a totally different story. You are never TOO sure who your alliances are, and if they would ever turn on you in ways you can't imagine. You think you know them, you WANT to know them but at the same time they are not REALLY your friends. I like to think that my friends in my industry ARE my friends, and that former and/or present clients have my back but at the end of the day you just never know. It's Thursday tomorrow, closer to the weekend, which means I get further away from the bullshit.WOW this month sucks a moose cock! XOXO BTC

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I know not everyone is great about doing anything and everything for friends, but I find that there are just SO many people that don't do ANYTHING for friends. They make it about them, instead of when it's supposed to be about the other person…it utterly amazes me! Clearly everyone can't stop their life for every single event in a friends life, but can't you bend a little? At the moment, I am helping plan a spa day for Brian's Aunt (who is on her 3rd marriage btw) and everyone involved are being total fucking ASSHOLES! Here is the latest response from Leslie Rubenstein (whoever the hell this gal is I haven't a clue), but her response infuriates me: "Aren't services usually individual? I'm really not interested in just coming for a treatment if I'm not spending any time with Judy. Is the idea for Judy to be treated for a spa day?" How does GO FUCK YOURSELF sound?? WHO the hell has time for this shit, that's what I want to write back but then that will just create an entire can of worms I don't feel like dealing with. Can't wait to see this piece at the wedding. SO it's "Terrible Tuesday" and you know everything just is OFF on days like this. I hope everyone is having an OK day, just relish in knowing this day sucks for all! XOXO BTC

YOU ARE SO AWKWARD…YOU MUST WORK IN FASHION

I think I have always felt a little "fish out of water" if you will in my industry, b/c well I am not that strange. As odd as that may sound, I myself am not sure why people in my industry are so, well, odd. I mean clearly super talented, have a love for the art form, but are so strange and not approachable; yet admired by their peers and other industry figures. Sometimes I want to say, WTF the stranger you are the more successful you will become? Why don't the ordinary people ever really make it, b/c really they don't! Take the Olson sisters. SUPER talented, love the fact that they never got super fucked up as child stars, but if you watch them in an interview or simply walking around you think…ugh why are they so awkward. They are just one example but I think you get what I mean. On a much lighter note, today is Friday. You know I feel like the days just blend into one at this point in my life, but it does mean I can have a drink tonight and not feel badly about feeling badly tomorrow AM; when I wake me ass up to work it off. Gotta love how high I strive! XOXO BTC

I AM OVER IT AND THEN SOME…

I can only imagine that everyone gets to a point in their career when they feel like they need MORE of something. You need to be MORE creative, you need MORE stimulation, you need LESS bullshit from others, etc. The question becomes what do you do with those emotions and how can you channel them into something NEW, different and more rewarding. As my life changes so does my career, it's inevitable and to be completely honest I welcome change. Nothing feels better to me than to purge the old and start a new. That does not work for everyone but it has always worked for me. I am not the person who can sit and do nothing, I always want to feel challenged, and because I want to feel challenged it allows me to continuously learn and grow in an industry I have been in for 15 years. WOW that fucking dates me now doesn't it:) Today is Thursday, such a good day…LOVES! XOXO BTC

FORGIVE ME LORD FOR I HAVE SINNED

It's Easter tomorrow and like Passover I could give a RATS ass! There are a few good things that happen on this day, one being I spend it with my siblings, with wine going overboard, lots of amazing food, and my kids are SUPER happy. It's also the best thing in the world to wake up in the AM and see how incredibly happy your kids are, when they see that the Easter Bunny came to visit. They eat tons of candy, wear pretty dresses and just play all day with their cousins…now THAT is delicious. The part I could and still don't understand is all the religions shit that goes on. I have always been so liberally NOT religious that now that I am older, I think to myself how and what do I teach my kids? We collectively decided that it would be all about love, tradition and family NOT religion. If they at anytime decide they do identify with either of our religions one more than the other, more power to them…However I selfishly hope they are like me, and are not identified with any ONE, but embrace and celebrate it all:) Happy Easter to those of you who do celebrate, it's a family day after all! XOXO BTC

MY LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH SPRING

It's SUCH a lovely time of year. Beer tastes better alfresco, everyone's in a better mood and no one needs to go away anymore because it's so nice outside! It's the preemptive beginning to Summer, what's not to love about Spring? WELL allergies for one! I mean I have such a love/hate relationship with this time of year. Fond memories of Lacrosse practice and games (ridic. but true), falling in love with just about EVERY former B-friend (including my husband) this time of year; and don't forget the end of school was always OH so lovely…but it was also always a time when I could not fucking breath. I could barely wait to get inside to air-conditioned rooms, had a swollen face for like EVER (or what felt forever), exhaustion from the allergy meds I was forced to take; AND lets not forget walking around sneezing like it was my JOB! I still have the the same relationship…kinda like mediocre sex. Even if you know it sucks you still kinda like/want it? ANYHOO, it's Thursday so you know what that means…the weekend is just around the corner, but then again all the days blend together so is there really such thing as a weekend anymore? Until next time… XOXO BTC

"FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER…"

I don't want to scream at people I know:) Like for this moment I feel pretty content. I could do without the NYC commute home (but don't have that for much longer), I could do without the rain this AM, but I honestly don't want to just scream at the top of my lungs at someone, and DEF. not someone I know! It's Terrible Tuesday so that's weird, but maybe it has something to do with the vodka on the rocks I started my week with last night? I don't like to drink during the week just sets me off but it went down really easy last night, nice and SMOOTH! This is Jess's last week in the office, and it's super sad:( The good thing is we won't be existing much longer without her…onto bigger and better things for that little gem! XOXO BTC

SING, SING A SONG...

Everyone has that THING that they wanted to be, whether it be an actor/actress, singer, whatever…everyone has that "thing." I had moments or warped moments thinking I could be a singer, but you see no one knows this! HA I don't think I have ever even written it..more like thought it. Even in those camp plays you feel like you are on top of the fucking world, and you are in the middle of nowhere (New Hampshire to be exact); but you are singing at the top of your lungs to the best of your ability! Today is Thurs. Brian is out drinking and such, while I am home with the kids watching Grey's Anatomy. To some that may sound totally lame, to me it's heaven. Is that bad that heaven is when he's not home? I had a great call with my editor this morning, which means the book is on it's way…spring 2015. :) Nighty Night! XOXO BTC

Who's The Babe?

www.whosthebabe.com :) Xoxo BTC

HOLY SHIT I AM ILLIN...

It's amazing as you get older, when you fall ILL what it's like! You really can't bounce back the way you used to, and you certainly don't recover as fast as you used to either…which really BLOWS! After this tooth extraction paired with the infection and a sinus infection on top of all of this, I am DOWN for the count. I can't sleep, eat, work properly, work out, I basically cannot function; but the problem is I have 2 young kids so clearly they just don't get that! It's hard keeping up with them, and making sure they are able to do the things that they want to do. NOT to mention it's super frustrating. THAT in a nutshell is my week. I am hoping that next weekends festivities are much better than my lack luster planned present weekend. Enjoy my friends, it is after all…Friday! XOXO BTC

GOOD GIRL GONE BAD!

You know you can always count on a few people in your life, other than family of course..and when you narrow that down even further there's probably one girl who is like a sister to you…and same for boys. What happens when that good girl that you know and love goes bad? I had a situation the other day with my best friend and I TRULY threw me for a loop! I guess that would be an example of never say never! It's all said and done, and we are past it but that bad taste is still in my mouth…and in my mouth b/c I was not the one to lose my cool, she was in a BIG way. Now I think to myself if you can talk to me like that, for no reason what else is wrong with you? But then on the flip side if you think about all the times you fight with your family and say things that you don't mean, and you HATE them for that moment…what happens? You get over it, so clearly that's what I have to do too! UGH what a fucking annoyance. Today is Wed. and I am home b/c of the lovely mouth surgery I just endured. HEY could be worse! Happy Hump Day! XOXO BTC

FULL HOUSE IS FULL OF SHIT...

Why is it that Candace Cameron annoys me so much? I liked her better in character that's for sure…the goofy, yet technically popular DJ on "Full House", WAY better than I can handle her now. I am all about doing your own thing, believing your own thing as long as you don't push your beliefs on other people; OR feel the need to say stupid shit like" I am going to be the most covered up person on, "Dancing with The Stars." Why on earth she can't just put more clothes on and shut it is beyond me! She annoys me, sorry if that seems offensive, come to think of it so does her brother and lord knows he was a hotty on "Growing Pains." I also can't imagine the lovely Greek hotness John Stamos can like her, he's just way to dirty:) Happy Monday! XOXO BTC

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL GLOAT IF I WANT TO…"

Where do you draw the line when it comes to talking about your successes? Do you openly let everyone you know and love that you are doing X Y and Z? Or do you allow other people to blow your cover, at your own expense? I have never really gotten that right. I either get the why didn't you tell me? OR the REALLY you are doing that? So you just never know which ones means that person is happy for you. Come to think about it, when I think of people that only talk about their successes I wanna puke, and happily clap for those who don't tell me…but things are relayed by another friend, and the other friend's successes. I don't know why I spend so much thinking about this shit, I always wanna do the right thing…just don't always succeed. Hope everyone's having a great weekend, I have some fucking infection in one of my teeth and have to get it pulled this week. Oh well things could be worse… XOXO BTC

HOLY SHITASTROPHY!

There is nothing in the world like being in a place, with people who don't understand, can't relate to, and don't want to know…WITHOUT BOOZE! Holy shitastrophy of a wedding I attended last night. What is it that people think being religious means that everyone else around them has to be uncomfortable? Does that even make sense? Like because you don't pray like them, dress like them, eat like them, think like them you basically need to suffer! It is amazing to think that you need to preform daily rituals in the eyes of God, to be a better person; to be a more worthy person. Isn't is really all about how you are to mankind? How you treat other people, what do you do with your life that makes you a better person? Doing for people as you would like done to you? So why it is that THE most religious people ostracize those not like them? Ironic no? Today I am revering from a dry wedding, where dinner still had not been served at 10:30 PM, I am with 2 BEYOND exhausted children, and 50 minutes away from him. When I tell you it was the BIGGEST shit show on the face of this planet I am being "conservative" for lack of a better term! I am nursing a REALLY infected tooth that needs to be pulled next week, on vicodin and antibiotics so life sucks a bit more than normal today. HOWEVER it is Friday, and you know what that means…more time to not do what I don't wanna do. BON WEEKEND!! XOXOXO BTC

T25

I started a new workout about a week ago called, T25. Shawn T. who introduced Insanity to me, leads the pack…and let me tell you it's 25 minutes of pure fucking, amazing HELL! I am a sweat ball when I am done, and loving almost every moment of it:) You should check it out if you want to make a bump up on your workouts, you feel FIERCE when you are finished that's for shit sure! I feel like changing up the workouts is the same way I change my hairstyles, nail polish, shoes, bags, coats…it makes everything feel and look fresher! I am am avid worker outer and have been my entire life. I think I have been doing something daily for AT LEAST 20 years and it really does feel amazing. You would think I would be in the best shape of my life, but then life gets in the way too:) HA! It's Wed. so you know what I say close to the weekend…PHEW! OH but we do have a wedding tomorrow, Brian's cousin is getting married on a THURSDAY no less, and oh I failed to mention I have to be covered from my toes to the top of my head; basically a burka, LITERALLY!! It's a black hat wedding (if you know what I mean), so I can't even dance with my man. UGH I love Brian but this shit is WACKED! OYE VEY! XOXO BTC

GIVING MORE INFORMATION AND LESS SHIT

I realized that I have a plethora of information to offer…but I rarely do that on here, mostly b/c who reads it; BUT non the less I do. What area would you like to know more about? Fashion? PR? Kids? Just curious… XOXO BTC

I LIKED YOU..ONCE

What happens when someone you liked, or felt like you HAD to like given who they were connected with…you can no longer stand; AND the worst part about it is that this person will be in my life forEVER! It's Monday I fucking hate everyone! XOXO BTC

CH CH CH CHANGES…TURN AND FACE THE CHANGE

The most constant thing in the world, is change. I think when my father died someone said that to me, at that point I was SO in the middle of trying to deal with the actual death, I didn't fully understand what that meant. NOW that I have had so much change in my life I really get it. Everything happens for a reason, when one door closes another one opens, when one thing ends something else starts…I really believe it all DOES in fact happen for a reason, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger; you know all that jazz. Sometimes I wonder why we are tested the way that we are, why some people are tested and don't succeed, vs. those who are tested and DO succeed! Can I please do the latter? Starting some new ventures soon, and I am scared shitless that it will fail. Then again, if I don't try I will never know right? Tomorrow is hump day…HUMP day, just wish I had someone to hump. HA OYE! XOXO BTC