SOMETIMES YOU MISS THE ONES YOU LOVE, WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

You would think that after all these years the cliche holidays would not bother me anymore...that after all this time, I would be for lack of a better term...over it. BUT sometimes Christmas does get me, I guess it's a holiday that reminds me of GREAT times and also really CRAPPY times. Lets see if I can remember a little of both.

I remember (fondly) setting up a train for my brother that went around the xmas tree, late at night with my mom, when of course I no longer believed in Santa...but my baby brother did. My mom and I had a GREAT time, I stayed up late, we laughed it was really the first time I got to do that...that being my first year not believing in Santa anymore. The following morning however really threw me for a loop...I was just a few months into the 4th grade so you can imagine, extremely impressionable. It's Christmas morning, and my mom got me this GOD awful outfit I HAD to have (sweatshirt dresses were all the rage), and this one was Gold and Black (I know, for real? YES for real). I opened that box and my heart stopped, I finally had an outfit that some of the girls I knew and was friends with had...from a hideous store called, Marcia's Attic. Now that I have kids you couldn't pay me money to go there! In any event, I thought I was hot shit...and according to the general world of the 80's I was! My father came that morning to pick us up to spend Christmas day with him, my stepmother and my grandmother...I walked out like I owned the joint and my father literally said to me, or rather my mom, "how could you dress her like that she looks like a whore." There are no words. When I think about that today, being that I have 2 kids that are GIRLS, makes me want to punch him back from dead (no pun intended). I remember that time so fondly and at the same time it was one of the worst christmas's of my entire LIFE. So, with that said...I miss you Dad, A LOT on most days but I wish more than anything I could have that moment back, b/c there are times that I revert back to that person and don't like who I am. What I know for sure is that moment made me stronger in the end, made me realize what NOT to do as a parent, so for that I am forever thankful. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! XOXO BTC

Merry EVERYTHING to everyone

Quick note to say Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate...Wishing everyone a wonderful day with family and friends. Much love, XOXO BTC

EVERYBODY NEEDS SOME TIME TOGETHER, NOW AND AGAIN...

I feel like it sounds so cliche when I say this, but I am learning more and more in my marriage that every couple DOES need alone time! I don't think it's really necessary to have a "date night" EVERY week (really just not possible in my world) however, an evening with no kids is literally just what the dr. ordered. I had a lovely evening with Brian and friends last night, while the kids slept at my mom's. It was nice to have a cup of coffee that stayed HOT while sitting in bed watching the news this AM. It was great getting dressed in an appropriate amount of time and I was even able to eat breakfast sitting at the table; as opposed to standing up in my kitchen, eating from the counter b/c you don't have time to really sit and digest your meal. THANK GOD for Nana. It was a great way to kick off our little family vaca. Lila and bought some last minute things at a local NYC Upper East Side retailer, and the 1st thing I got when I walked in was" Oh she's yours? I thought you were the nanny." My response was, "So many idiots think that..." and then of course there was the awkward silent pause. WTF I hate people! Onto other things... SO tomorrow is Xmas eve, and for the first time in my entire life I have little to no emotion for the holiday this year. I want the kids to have an AMAZING holiday, but me...just not really concerned about it in the least! AND funny enough is I HATE that feeling b/c this was my fav. holiday EVER! What I am going to do is try and enjoy some time off from the office (yes it is possible for a moment), and try not to take for granted that Beth and I have the ability to close it until the 2nd, without having to answer to anyone but ourselves! Now THAT is reason enough to kick my feet up. None the less, I hope everyone has a lovely last day shopping or whatever you are doing...and I be back for sure, on Christmas! XOXO BTC

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT... AND I FEEL FIIIIIIIIIIINE..."

So, apparently today was supposed to be the end of the world. How many people do you think were shocked this AM to realize they were still alive and kicking? I certainly was NOT one of them...but I guess I can understand all the hype. How would we really know if it was the end anyway? Today will be the last day in the office, and then we are closing this puppy until the 2nd of JAN! HOWEVER, as a business owner you are never really closed! None the less it will be nice to spend uninterrupted time with my family, not get up at 5 to make lunch, prep dinner, work out, like a crazy person! Will be nice to create my own schedule for a moment:) I miss those days when you could really just walk out of an office and turn off. SO back to the end of the world...We are all still here, good, bad or whatever. So I guess live your life to the fullest, continue putting emphasis on the things that mean something to you and fuck everything else. HA! XOXO BTC

ANXIETY IS THE NEW BLACK...

I meet more parents who have kids that are anxious, than I do people with kids who are NOT! MINE included... I have been dealing with Aiden's anxiety lately, something that has been elevated since she started the 1st grade. It is so interesting because most people would not even KNOW it's an issue with her, she has hidden it pretty well. The academic transition from one grade to the next had her worried about the amount of work, and so on and so forth. Many things are not even worth worrying about, but her little mind has been working overtime! In any which case, I think that early intervention (like anything) is KEY, and we just met with a wonderful Dr. this week. Feeling positive about making her feel better, less anxious and just happier. All I want is for her to be happy. Almost Friday... XOXO BTC

THERE IS NO FUCKING FUN, IN GUNS...

I cannot even understand for ONE moment, why anyone would have a firearm in their home, or anywhere else for that matter; UNLESS you are a full on cop! WTF is wrong with people? There is nothing in the world that would ever make me believe that's even remotely ok...THEN you have those who hunt, what goes on with them? First of all who wants to kill an animal for fun anyway? There is no fun in that, another group of wackos carrying fire arms. How do we change all of this? and WHY did it take this long for people to make changes as this epidemic grew and grew and grew! I am incredibly sad to think I have to even THINK about things like this; but when you have kids the world revolves around them and their safety. BTC

ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE...

Having 2 little girls is THE single most amazing thing that has ever happened to me! I love everything about identifying how they feel, why they feel certain ways, etc. simply because I am a girl too. When having girls, there are things that come along with them...you can't always prepare for; and that is sometimes scary b/c you too had those same feelings at some point in your life. Some people may still feel the way they did at a young age. Insecurities are just part of growing up and certainly part of being a girl. I know what it is like to not look like any of your peers, to not have the same skin, hair, etc. Having 2 parents that look very different from each other...all of those things. I remember having friends who suck ass parents would like at my like they were from outer space! On MORE than on occasion. I wish I knew what I know now, then. I wish I knew all of those things because really those would not have been my friends. And of course there is a reason they are not my friends, today. All of those feelings of who am I? Where do I belong? Do I fit in? Are normal...I am now having to deal with some of those same issues with my own child. I think daily how can I help her along this journey? How can I let her know that people can be cruel and mean but in the end most of those people are not those who sit at home, with no career, no real meaning to their life...but $. How can I tell her that those are the people that the teachers HATED, and we are the ones that the teachers loved! How can I express that they will be friends with the SAME "type" for the rest of their lives, and never know anything MORE than that. They will end up marrying the SAME type of guy, same clothes, same cars, houses...all kind of a cookie cutter world. They will never know any adversity b/c they will never open themselves up to different things. How can I say this, in a way that a 6 year old can understand? On a lighter note, I WILL tell her the many lovely friends she will make along the way. The ones that will last a lifetime and be by her side when you think you cannot possibly get up. The ones that will fly to the ends of the earth to make whatever you are going through hurt less...that they won't care how much money you have or don't have, what you look like or what kind of car you drive. They will simply love you for YOU! Those are the things I will tell her...and then one day you will wake up and realize those other people are not even an after thought. You end up feeling badly for them b/c they ARE so limited. It does not always hurt as much as it may hurt now, but you too will get through this like we all did. Food for thought on "Terrible Tuesday"... xoxo BTC

TWILIGHT ZONE

Does anyone else feel like the month of December is like living in the twilight zone? I don't know what is going on in the world...I can't quite put my finger on it, and now with all of this horrific news involving the most horrific experience EVER known to man. I don't know anymore, I always wanted a 3rd kid but after this, it makes me wonder if I want to bring another child into this insane, fucked up world. How do we move forward from tragedy? How do we tell our kids everything will be ok, when the chances of that being true, seems lower than before? These kids of ours, they will end up in class, room, school, etc. It's grossly inevitable. SO incredibly sick. I can't in good faith feel the holiday spirit, I won't let the kids in on this...but I am scrooge and scrooge for a reason. With a heavy heart, BTC

HOW TO POSSIBLY MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL...

I almost can't even think about what happened today, to those men, women and children....it's almost just TOO much to digest. I can only imagine what everyone is writing, feeling, thinking, doing tonight after such a senseless tragedy. As I sit here with my youngest (2) while my older one (6)is having a sleep over with my brother and his girlfriend, and my husband is away on a business trip...I think how LUCKY I am given the present circumstances. I know every other parent is thinking the exact same thing. How do you process all of this? AND if you have a child is around the age of my child (6) or older, how do you talk to them about it...if at all? You drop your child off at school and think that it is a safe, contained environment...but the truth is you just never know no matter where you live. I guess given that I live in NYC I am used to hearing about petty crimes and things of that nature, but THIS this is just insanity. There is nothing in the world that can be worse than losing a child. I clearly remember when my father was so ill and my grandmother (his mothers) was still alive. She said to me no mother/parent should live longer than their child; it's just not the natural way. And it's true, the idea of having to live through that is something I cannot even remotely fathom. My heart aches for all of those lost, especially the grieving parents whose lives will be forever changed. I pray tonight (and we know I am not a religious person, rather spiritual), for all those affected. I am sad, really, deeply, truly sad. Mothers/fathers hug your children tonight...and please don't ever let them go. With a heavy heart, BTC

THE AWKWARD RUN-IN...

I am not good with the unknown. I don't like to be surprised for the most part, I always like to know what's coming next; but as we know life does not always work that way. It is sometimes so weird running into someone you genuinely like but have no relationship with anymore..AT all. How do you handle? I often find that being more chatty is helpful, so that even if you don't feel like you want to talk to the person...they will think that you do. AND it also makes it a lot less uncomfortable in a not so comfortable situation. You then go through all the times that you spent together (in your head), and wonder what it would be like now if the paths has stayed along the same road. At least I do with those that I did/do like. Friendships work in such strange ways! Happy Weekend!!! XOXO BTC

A LITTLE TIME OFF NEVER HURT NOBODY...

I think a little time off from your significant other is a MUST...even if it means counting a business trip as "time off." I know I need it and I can't imagine my man does not feel the same! Given that we are a household of women (and one man), when the man leaves..it's nice just being with the girls! I get some time for me when the kids go to bed, I can watch whatever I want, eat whatever I want, go to bed whenever I want and so on and so forth. By the time I start missing my husband, he is home. I am always encouraged (by my man) to be with my girlfriends, go away with my girlfriends, take time for me, etc. I can't imagine being with someone who is NOT like that...although I know there are tons of women who are married to men who would strongly disagree. Interestingly enough most of my friend's men feel the same way, which allows us to have time with each other...just the girls. Looking forward to a couple of days to chill with my girls, taking time for me, and then seeing him again on Sunday...his BDAY! XOXO BTC

BRANDI OH BRANDI...

I am not sure it's a good or a bad thing that I think Brandi Glanville and I are cut from somewhat of a similar cloth. Sometimes she can be crude, always honest, and forever in your face..but I like that, I really think b/c we are a lot alike. NOT that comparing myself to celebrities is a past time, but I can't help but notice there are a few out there I can really relate to. Take Brandi, Bethenny, and me (maybe it's the B in our names), but I can't help but notice how outspoken they are; and how much that really can bother others. In truth they really are only saying what other people are thinking, or at least that's what I tell myself. I think if everyone was slightly more honest about how they felt, people would get along much better. Relationships would be stronger, things would just be...easier. How do you know when enough is enough? I know they say that there is a time and a place for everything, but I really don't think 1/2 of the time people are being nasty. BUT on the other hand I do have to admit that I CAN be nasty; and do say things at times that I shouldn't. I would like to think that the majority of time I am just saying what other people think. Isn't that really the whole idea of this blog? You have to find a life partner that can accept you for WHO you are, and allow you to be yourself. EVEN if that means pissing them off A LOT! I am happy to be the way that I am some people hate me some people love me, but either way I will always be upfront about how I feel about them and everything/everyone else! XOXO BTC

SOMETIMES I GET THE "WEIRD" VIBE..AND CLEARLY DON'T LIKE YOU FROM THE FIRST CONVERSATION.

I often get a weird vibe from people that I THEN just can't shake! I think that initial intro. is key re: perception. When you don't vibe with someone from the start it sets up for a less than stellar future; AND the worst is if you know this person/people will have to be in your life for the better part of your future! How do you deal with them? AND do you have to literally fake it...forever!! The worst is when the person you think is so off, thinks that they are the best thing since sliced bread, and clearly you don't agree with them..but their perception of self is so askew it's almost more annoying than the actual person! Often times these people dish out things that they can't take back. It takes a special kind of person to NOT attack those types of people, when you know that you can...AND literally should! I think there are a lot of people out there who can fake how they feel, but then at the same time there are ton of people who cannot...I being one of them. How do I deal with them when I don't want to, AND how can you make it so that when you are together you can tolerate each other; b/c you HAVE to! I am still learning that myself b/c you reach a certain age where you only spend time with people that you want to spend time with and not with ones that you don't. That's clearly not realistic because there comes a time when everyone has to deal with people they don't like. Do you call them out on their bullshit? Do you make sure that they know you don't like them, but simply don't have a choice the times that you are together? Or do you leave sleeping dogs, well you know asleep? Food for thought, there are so many people that I love to pieces and so many randoms I just can't stand! Happy Monday! XOXO BTC

SHARING THE WEALTH!

SO, Hanukkah starts tomorrow...the festival of lights! We will be kicking it off with Brian's family and then continuing the celebration the following week with friends. I really do enjoy all of this holiday cheer for my kids but jesus H.C (so appropriate for this covo.) it cost an arm and a leg; AND these kids get way too much shit if you ask me. How do you create a balance between giving and getting? 8 nights of Han, then xmas, it's insanity! I don't want the kids to not enjoy it to the full extent but I mean can you imagine how much loot that is? AND how much we spend on them? Do people really understand it's about giving not getting? Or rather both? Anyhoo...for all who celebrate Hanukkah, have a very HAPPY and healthy one! Bon weekend. XOXO BTC

ATTACK OF THE KILLER CLOANS...

Why is it that there is always a group of women, hanging out, that all look the EXACT same? Talk the same, dress the same, look the same, share the same interests...where is the diversity in that? I should have known growing up that, that was not my jam. That I could have found a more diverse group (socially and economically) but just didn't, and still to this day I am not sure why. Of course this did not apply to ALL my friends, but it certainly did apply to some... The most interesting part about it, is that they still hang with the SAME type of people, never got out of that, and just do the same shit with the same like people as adults? Where's the fun in that? Who brings different things to the table? IF you all dress, think, act alike it's like attack of the killer clones! I guess there is nothing wrong with that, but clearly it's not for me...and would make no sense to the kids that I am raising if everyone that we were friends with, was SO alike. I battle with this a lot, where we should move (if ever out of NYC), what kind of place I could provide them to show them how we as parents think; if not NYC? It's harder I think for us than other people. We always have to think somewhat outside the box, but outside the box means out of NYC. My head spins like a hamster wheel with all of this, ALL the time, day and night. It is really exhausting! XOXO BTC

DON'T SIGN UP FOR THINGS YOU CAN'T HANDLE!

I can't quite understand why people sign up for things, that they can't handle. Why sign up for a service you know you can't pay for? Why get married to someone you know you don't even love? Why be friends with people you don't even like? And then in the long run why sign up for things you CAN'T handle! Everyone makes mistakes, gets involved in things they don't mean to but if you KNOW you shouldn't be doing something, come on now get your shit together. If you can't make payments, deal with the wrath of people you don't like, marry someone you can't even stand sleeping with you are going to have to deal with the consequences. Not to mention some of those consequences don't always just directly affect you, they may affect others. I am certainly not perfect, FAR from it actually but I would hope at this stage of my career and life I can make the BEST decisions; in my business and personal life without totally fucking up other people. XOXO BTC

BUSTED BLOGGERS...

WHY are there so many of them? BTC

HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO GIVE, TO GET...

So many things running around my brain daily...Considering I run a business, and it's a client service business I know what it's like to get paid for a service; AND how to provide that best possible service you can. But being on the other side of that, I sometimes think how much do you have to give...to get? I would like to think I am a good sell without having to literally SELL myself i.e. $, BUT I guess everyone has to give a little (or sometimes a lot) to get what they want. Food for thought...more to come! XOXO BTC

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH...

AND THEN THERE WAS ONE...

You would think getting car jacked at gun point was enough to counter act all of the bad shit you have done, and is the higher power's way of getting even with you, but alas that is not the case. Why do so many bad things happy to mediocre or rather good people? There are so many people I would like to bestow all the bad shit onto, that lands one me; but then again I am thankful everyday to have a happy, healthy family too. It's quite odd to think about all of the bad things that happen, when at the same time I often think about all the good things that happen too. Are you selfish if you think both ways? FYI that's not rhetorical:) But really, should we feel badly about FEELING badly about things that happen to us, when the greater spectrum of things that happen to us are great? Is that too complicated? I don't know...food for thought. You gotta love a Monday! XOXO BTC

"I HATE CHRISTMAS..."

I am sure many of you remember those words Scrooge said...and unfortunately I am kinda in that place at the moment. I am not so into this holiday season, I guess for a variety of reasons. Some I know some I can't even quite place. BUT what I do know is that I can't let the kids know any of that. SO...with that said, we decorated the tree last night, put out our Hanukkah menorah's and such; and listened to holiday tunes too. What is it about the holidays that makes everyone happy/depressed? It's irony at its best really, you are elated b/c it's a time to share with your family and friends but for those same reasons you find yourself sad at times. It's just SO much of everything at one time, money, time, food, etc. For now I can say Happy Holidays b/c lord knows I don't want everyone else to feel the way I do, or there would be be holiday cheer. I am fully scrooge at the moment and need a pick me up. Not sure what that is, but I will let you know if any when it does happen. XOXO BTC

I STILL HAVE A BAD FEELING...

There are times in your life when you say things to people that you care about, or say things about people you care about that you know you can't take back. I have one of those that still haunts me... A nameless faceless friend from the past, whom I really cared about overheard me say something about them that was a bit out of character for me; AND also somewhat not true about them. It was one of those moments when you leave your phone on and and you are reiterating something to someone, and being slightly more off color than you normally would...and they hear you. It was really not nice of me, and to this day I still feel really badly about it. NOW, there are a TON of people in my past I don't feel that way about, don't care for, and am happy to not be connected to anymore...but there is always at least one where that does not hold true. In any event, today I feel I need to repent that sin, mourn the loss of a friend and then continue to move on as I have so many years later. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend...until next time. XOXO BTC

I HATE to say this, but I HATE everyone...

It's kind of irony at it's best (that above title). But it seems to be true these days...I seem to loathe more people than I like. What is different in the world that I feel this way, or I am just getting older and realizing there are so many more people who suck than those that don't? No one ever seems satisfied, and maybe part of that is the case that people get too much of what they want, and then go ape the times that they don't. The idea of instant gratification has taken on a whole new meaning now a days. We use to live in a world when we could not see results so quickly, we would have to wait to see something that we worked on, etc. But now, b/c you can turn things around so quickly when you don't people are not happy. I find this DAILY in my what I do for a living and it seems to be spilling into my personal life too. IF you can't be everything to everyone, if you can't be everyone at once or you can't deliver everything at all times, you have failed in some way. The bar is set too high so even those that deliver 99.9% of the time, is not longer enough. I am exhausted. Exhausted from hearing people bitch all the time about MORE MORE MORE, exhausted from not getting enough sleep b/c well you know my kids need me 100% too, and SHOT to shit trying to hold my own self together making sure I don't fall apart. The theme of the day is, clearly I hate everyone...but hate to say that too. Is it the weekend yet? Oh wait those suck lately too. XOXO BTC

Can woman really have it all? I honestly am not sure...

People often say that the best thing that they ever did was have their kids...and this I TOTALLY agree with; HOWEVER, we know there's always a touch of honesty missing if you ask me. Brian and I have created this amazing life with our 2 girls, a life I am so blessed to have. But really, can a woman have it all? It's that forever pondering question posed all too often. I do think it's possible to feel and say that you can have it all, but at what price? Something's always gotta give whether it is SOME of your career, your health, your relationship with your significant other, time with the kids, etc. Something has to give. The question is what do you need to give up a little? What areas get 80% and what areas get 100%? I would like to say I am even on all accounts but clearly things for me take a back seat, although that's not even something I listed above! So I won't include that, but at some point my clients get more attention than my family and at what price? OR my family gets more attention than my clients, and is that fair? How to you juggle it all and how can you be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE? I woke up a couple of times in the night for Lila, and have been on and off for the last couple of months. I am clearly lacking in the sleep dept. and I don't even have a newborn and at what cost? I turned to Brian in the middle of the night and said to him I don't know how much more of this I can take before I start to lose my mind, or continue to lose my mind slowly. So, I pose that question again, can you really have it all? I think you can look like you have it all, but in reality it's just not possible. Mmmmm....I feel this way today, talk to me on another day when she does sleep and everything is status quo and I may feel differently:) JUST being honest! XOXO BTC

So many people's personal style confuses me...

I am not sure if it's because I am in the industry or simply b/c I am a bitch...but I sometimes don't get the success of others; as it relates to fashion. What is it that people love and others loathe? AND why don't others loathe it the way that I do? I know that everyone has their own "sense" of style and that makes the world go round, but there are SO many people out there highlighting their own personal style, and style choices that I think truly suck! Then I think to myself..maybe it's me, and I have horrible taste? NO that can't possibly be:) In any event, can anyone now simply throw on some J.Crew rhinestone necklaces with a pair of pencil pants and a patterned sweater and call themselves a style icon? I think that if you don't have people that are truly schooled in that area running the show anymore, then anyone can be anyone...literally. IT seems to me that in very few professions can you just waltz in and say you are someone, act like you are someone, do things like you are someone...BUT in media you can crawl all over that shit with little to no experience; OR clout! I mean you don't have teachers walking around without credentials? You don't have dr.'s walking around without licenses practicing in the open? Why the fuck can anyone start a fashion blog,site whatever, look like shit, and direct big brands...DEAR lord what has this world come to. Don't get my wrong there are some good ones, but there are plenty of shitty fashion blogs...with really crappy taste. Now off to watch "Revenge", don't mind if I do. Nighty, night! xoxo BTC

Give a little, get a little...

I think one of the hardest things for people to understand is that the world does not work in a "tit for tat" way. You can't wait always get back exactly what others give. If the world worked that way no one would be friends, we would only have ourselves to deal with! I have come to realize that people invite people to do things, come to parties, etc. sometimes ONLY if they are invited the other way. OR you can be idiots like me (us my husband and I), and always include everyone to make it easy...EVEN when you are never invited to someone else's things. I don't know it all seems really political to me...why can't we all just get along? How do you know if there is a friend you can count on 100% vs. one where there are stipulations to the relationship? AND what if an entire group feels a certain way about a person/people but you continue to have a relationship with them simply b/c it's easier than actually dealing with it? How does that benefit anyone? Everyone is so weird, not to say I am not somewhat strange in my own way but...I don't know, as we get older everyone gets stranger!! Have a wonderful CYBER monday:) xoxo BTC

Happy THANKSGIVING!

Happy Thanksgiving...that's all for today:) Much love and happiness to you and yours! xoxo BTC

BIG BIRD DAY!

MY absolute favorite day of the year is Thanksgiving!! I love the food, family, cheer and nothing has to do with ANYTHING gift related! You just stuff your face, enjoy each others company...AND eat some more. It's the one holiday I claim will always be at my mom's! I can't give it up, I tried but it just does not work for me. I grew up in the house where we still celebrate and hope to for many more years to come; especially now with the kids. The most delicious food we prepare, including macc and cheese, turkey, stuffing, gravy, apple pie, pumpkin bread...and no one does it better than mom. It is also a time to think about those who are less fortunate than we are, those who have less or none at all. Those who have been victims of horrific life curve balls and now have nothing at all. I wish I could give more, do more. The 1st thing I am doing if I ever do make more than I can handle is give some of it away; obviously the democrat in me! Happy Thanksgiving to all...enjoy your friends, family, food, wine, and then some. xoxo BTC

PLEASE DONT GO....PLEASE DONT GO!!!!

I think the constant battle between city folks and burbs folks is where should one live, and why! I know in my house we constantly battle staying or leaving NYC. I don't know what to do...I grew up in the burbs but have literally lives in New York City since 1999. That's a LONG ass time to move out!! I did not use the kid things as an excuse to leave (and most do rightfully so)...we stayed, and continued our life in a similar fashion...just with 2 kids. I thrive over the diversity, the thirst for life, the fact that you can eat, shop do just about everything in the most amazing city in the world! I revel in the fact that my kids can sit in a classroom full of kids, who are all so different in so many ways; culturally, economically, etc. HOW can we leave this? I can travel to work and be there in a jiffy...and be right back at Aiden's school for anything that I am involved in. I can have it all, so to speak! I can have it ALMOST all if there is such a thing. I love it here, it's part of who I am...it's my identity and I am not sure it's something I can just let me know... BUT, there is the space issue. I would like more space, and not a 4 bedroom apt a 4 bedroom home. I want a backyard where the kids can just open the door and go out and play! The question is, is that enough of a reason to leave? Food for thought. Enjoy the day! xoxo BTC

YOU CAN'T LOVE EM ALL!

I have come to terms with the fact that you can't love em all! There was BOUND to be a spouse that I didn't LOVE, someone who married a friend. The fact that 99.9% of them are great is a HOME run. Given that there's at least one is pretty damn good. The question is, then what do you do? Do you continue to pretend like you enjoy their company and suck it up so that you can remain just as close with your friend? OR do you try and maintain the relationship with JUST the friend, and omit the husband or wife whenever you can? Would love to know...still don't know the answer. For now, I suck it up. BON WEEKEND! XOXO BTC

WHEN TO SAY WHEN...

When do you know when it's time to end a friendship, relationship, anything of that nature? When do you know it's time to part ways with the best of intentions, realizing you no longer have anything in common? Sometimes ending friendships are just as hard as ending a relationship...How exactly do you bow out gracefully? I have had several past friendships fizzle out, some just we just grew apart others more controversial. There are 2 sides to every story and then there's the truth but how do you determine the mistakes you may have made with those past friends you won't make with your present friends? I would have to assume that you would work harder on the friendships that you do have and those you do love, than you did with those you have lost. It's a 2 way street, you give and you take and you are there for one another. You need to give a little and they need to give a little, or it just won't work. I feel like so many people who are no longer in my life, were omitted for a reason. There are very few I still care, love and think about who are no longer in my "every day", and then more of those who I just kinda can't stand and probably can't stand me! I love when you run into someone you genuinely LOVE, and then loathe the times you run into those you don't. Such is life they say...As you get older you realize there are people you don't want to remain friends with and those you do. You are wiser, more independent, less concerned about outside influences and more concerned with what makes you happy. Food for thought...love to all!! XOXO BTC

AND it's that day again!

It's that day again..."Terrible Tuesday!" I don't know what it is about this day, but it is always incredibly annoying; or and horrible. Everyone has a tude, and the worse part about it is in most cases...you are doing something FOR their best interest and they put up a damn fight!! What is it about this day that sucks so badly? Maybe b/c it is not the end of the week but not the first day of the week? Something like you can't be as big of an asshole on Monday b/c you are starting the new week? I don't know what it is but I hate this damn day! Looking forward to "hump" day, has a much more pleasant ring to it! XOXO BTC

SANDY IS SUCH A W___RE

Sandy was such a beast, IS such a beast!! My heart goes out to those affected by the storm...I am happy to say that all my direct friends and family are safe; many without power but no MAJOR damage. What a horrific storm swept through the tri-state area for the last couple of days. We have been home, with the kids...thinking of as many activities as possible:) Nothing more to say than, donate money, help in any areas that you can...and pray for those who were less fortunate in the storm. xoxo BTC

OH DEAR LORD....

I can't even IMAGINE what it would be like to walk into a situation, much like the one that occurred here in NYC...on the UWS. I trust my nanny to love my kids as much (at times BE me), as we do. I have never thought for a moment that I would have anything to worry about when it comes to the care of my children; but it seems you just can't trust anyone, anymore. The horrific crime of 2 children murdered by their nanny yesterday has me rocked to the core! I have these INCREDIBLE fits of rage in my head, and want to jump in and kill her myself! I CANNOT imagine how the mom and dad even feel, I am devastated for them; BEYOND beyond. THat's all I can even muster today, I am utterly sick about it. Hug and kiss those close to you..you just never know. BTC

IF THE SHOE FITS...

I don't understand why people sign up for shit, they can't follow through on. I still have so much to learn about owning a business and such, but I don't think Beth and I would ever put ourselves in a position to do something...we were't A 100% behind, or B. something we thought would be monetarily possible. It's amazing to me that people can suck the life out of someone and then in the end...walk away. I have learned a lot in all my years in this industry but one thing never ceases to amazing me...the ability of people to use the shit out of other people, and drop them like a hotcake. OYE TO THE M__R F___G VEY! BTC

JUST another manic monday!

I have to say...Mondays don't bother me, ANY more. I think when you do your own thing you are excited to go to work, I hang with my business partner whom I love, etc. I then take for granted the fact that I love what I do AND I do it for myself (so to speak). I don't get those Mondays blues or anything like that, and I know most people do. Maybe if it were easy to tell your boss your feelings, reservations, etc. then less people would have it?? Then again there are a ton of shitty bosses out there that probably would not even care. I guess taking a moment to reflect and saying I am not EXACTLY where I want to be, but am closer than I was before is important. AND feeling blessed that I don't have to feel that way every day is really, truly amazing. XOXO BTC

AAAH This feels goooood...

Did a little update on the blog, today. Not that many people are going to even notice my changes BUT, none the less it feels GOOD! So things have changed a bit, moving onto bigger and better things that don't only involve the world of pregnancy! Seems I have a lot more to say, on just about every topic known to man...that others may not actually speak of, out loud. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's Friday, raining in NYC no one seems happy about it AT all...and I generally can't stand anyone today. No real difference from any other day, except for the fact that it is Friday and usually people don't bother me quite as much. I spent the last few days taking care of my sick kid, dealing with bullshit at work (you know crazy demands, etc.) and my man away. Needless to say the weekend could not come fast enough, but then again it is hardly a weekend when you do not get to sleep, you can't come and go as you please and then you wake up and it's Sunday night all over again. One thing is for sure, I will be crawling into my bed around 7:30 PM for the damn night! xoxo BTC

I don't fully understand...

I feel like I am forever saying, "I don't get it?" And when I am saying that, I am referring to people. Like I don't get why they said that? I don't get why they did that? And so on and so forth. Most of the time it's about stupid shit! LIKE I don't get why my client did X, I don't understand why those boys bullied a 67 year old woman on a bus and this just NOW comes to light? Case in point...people are WACKED! How can you differentiate between truly sacked and just acting wacky? Sounds like a really simple clarification, but really in turn...some of the people who are really out there don't even realize that they are out there! WOW I just went on a tangent. IS it that everyone is just getting stranger? Or I am the one that's strange? So many questions so little time:) On a lighter note, I am thrilled to say I am going to douse myself in Skinny Girl Margs and have another fantastic summer weekend...OH and it's my brother's bday. He is making us all go to Med. Times. I wanna crawl in a hole and die. BON WEEKEND! XOXOXO BTC

ANNOYING PEOPLE NEVER LEAVE

I know SO many annoying people. I think to myself, why if there are annoying do I know them? I mean some I guess I meet and are annoying, but no for real I know so many people that I am kinda friends with...or are friends with that are annoying. Now people reading this no, this is not you b/c you don't even know you are annoying and no you are not one of my best friends; HOWEVER, I often wonder if you know you are annoying? VERY important questions. HA! aaah. not really. XOXO BTC

SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE...

You know they say some people can change, part of me wants to believe that, but for some they just cannot change. In relationships, whether they are about love, friendship whatever...it's all about the give and take. You give 50% you get 50%. I have SUCH an issue with friends who have some sort of self "motive." I am thankful that my BEST girlfriends' are just like that. It took YEARS for me to realize that I did not have to try and fit into a mold, I could just finds girls that were more like me. It's not quantity it's quality. I am thankful for the ones I can go to no matter what my issue is, big or small! You can't choose your family but you CAN choose your friends:) HOLLA! xoxo BTC

Things can change on a dime...

My lovely nanny came in this morning telling me about her cousin, who died suddenly when a tree fell on his car. Now THAT puts it all in perspective doesn't it? I sometimes sweat the small stuff, who doesn't but at the end of the day it's so small compared to REAL life problems. I have to remind myself that I have a roof over my head, food on my table, family and friends that I love and count on; and that's just to name a few.

I am taking this moment to be incredibly thankful for all that I have, and hope in some way in my lifetime I can give to those who don't have what I am privileged to enjoy.

Tomorrow could be a really big day, a day that helps propel something I have been working on for YEARS now. All I can do is hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. In the end, if it does not happen I have counted my blessings for the things that I do have.

Food for though, why on earth I am so philosophical without any type of mind altering substance, at this very moment is so beyond me.

LUV!
XOXO
BTC

Gotta love a journalist like this!

http://jezebel.com/5903524/getting-measles-trendy-among-babies-whose-asshole-parents-didnt-vaccinate-them

NUFF SAID.

XOXO
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OH

and margaritas are SO underrated. I am not quite sure who or what came up with the tequila but it is the MOST delicious, game changing nectar.

MMMMMMMMMM MMMM GOOOOD!
BTC

PARENTAL ROAD BLOCKS!

How do you deal with parents that you are either friends or family that don't parent REMOTELY like you? You can't really get rid of them, nor do you want to...but you do want them to think a little bit more like you? WHY? I guess case in point is you don't want your kids feelings to get hurt, and if they difference in parenting is that extreme I think that's one of the things that can happen.

I am not sure how to deal with those kinds of things, b/c it's not like I am THE best parent...or that only my way works, I just know the other way does not. I do like that the majority of my friends parent their kids like we do; it makes for a much more comfortable environment when we are all together. I guess the ones that don't you just have to limit the amount of time the kids spend together? At some point as the kids do get older, they may not like each other..or get along, so that's something I am sure a lot of people face; but at the same time I hate to think it could be like that when we love getting all of the kids together!

WHAT to do if it's family?? UGH I don't know but if you do, give me a ring!

CIAO!
XOXO
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Life is a highway...

Sometimes you are just not sure what direction life may take you. What path you are supposed to walk down, and who is going to walk down that path with you. One day you wake up and you are one place, and the next you are about to embark on an entirely different journey; do you jump (into something new), or stay stuck in that same rut?

I am not sure what to do, but for tonight...I am going to drink myself to sleep, with no food.
That's just for tonight.

XOXO
BTC

It's been forever...

Then again, I have devoted the last couple of months to my upcoming BOOB JOB!
I recently underwent a breast reduction. To be exact I went from a 34E to a 34C, HOLY CRAP it's incredibly liberating. NOT to mention when I lie down, they don't move:) Kinda nifty!

I sept the last 2 months preparing, cleaning out my body, no booze, not evening activities NADA! NOW that it's all over, I am easy my way back in nicely...if you know what I mean!

How are things with all of you? Well I hope...Much love!
XO
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