MOMMY DEAREST

I love my mom, let me start by saying that. We are the best of friends, she has always been my go-to person for everything, no matter WHAT! I would call her first over Brian ANYYY day of the week, and often thought how could I get through my life without her. NOW I think God might be letting me know I can and will be able to live without her GOD FORBID that were to happen. Our relationship is just not the same at the moment…and I can't quite pinpoint why? It's super frustrating being ships that pass in the night, we see each other so infrequently where there is quality time spent, that it's hard to maintain a relationship…similar to a friendship that requires work. It's sad to think that the person you thought was like A is really like Z, a far cry from the type of person you relied so heavily on. I think part of my problem is that I sat her on a pedestal that did not really exist, like she was never really that person. She's a WONDERFUL person but she's got her faults just like everyone else. We NEVER fought I mean NEVER and if we did it was incredibly short lived. Now I think most of the time we keep our distance and when we do talk about something we argue about whatever we are talking about. I am devastated to say the least. ANYHOO….I got bigger fish to fry. My last official day in my office at B2 is tomorrow, it's bitter sweet b/c we have so many things in the works and it's time to focus on us, but at the same time it's like sending your baby to college…you just have to shed a tear. With a heavy heart today. XOXO BTC

THE GOLDEN YEARS

If they say the Golden years happen when you are a senior? WHY does it feel like Golden years when you have been married (or together), WELL over 20 years? Is it the "Golden Years" prematurely in relationships? It's Sunday night, the kids start camp tomorrow which is a good thing…considering Lila playing with me one more day might make me dumber and her, well dumber too! I can focus on the launch of company #2 and get on with writing the rest of my freaking BOOK!! I can't believe it's the end of June already, the summer flies by SO fast b/c everyone is always having the best time…but I selfishly love the Fall best. So really I have fun for about 6 out of the 12 months in a year. To another fun filled week, YEEEES! XOXO BTC

GIMME A PLAY BY PLAY

I need a full on play by play of all major events in my life. I like to know exactly who things go down, what's going to happen, how it's going to happen, how I can prepare, etc. I am not sure that everyone likes it the way that I like it, and I know that life should offer elements of surprise, but I do like a path of knowledge in most cases. Pregnancy, marries, my latest how book publishing works (agreements, ghost writers, etc.). I feel so out of the loop that I don't know what is and what is not normal. I know totally random post. ANYway, it's Friday tomorrow and I am feeling so scattered lately…I am neither here no there. I am both coming and going, and everyone is just on edge every which way I turn. I guess you can say I am just experiencing life. XOXO BTC

WHOMEVER THE GREAT

See, here's the thing! You can be GREAT at what you do for a living, like the BEST in the business but be a totally sucky boss/manager. It takes such a specific skill to manage a team of people and not everyone has it. These skills are not ones that can really be taught, it's kind of like cilantro you either like or you don't…you are either good or bad. I think it's MORE important to be a GREAT boss/manager than it is to be GREAT at your profession. Think about it, you can hire people that are as good as your OR better, if you can manage them properly. As a business owner myself, it's so fucking annoying when I see GREAT businesses with bad bosses, WHAT a waste of time. ANYHOOOOO, it's Wed. and I cannot wait for my kids to camp:) XOXO BTC

OFF BALANCE

I know my sign is the cardinal sign that always needs balance…and honestly it does feel weird when I am not balanced. But then it's hard to always stay SO balanced b/c well life happens. I think we as a sign take on the brunt of things b/c we are everyone's therapist (and we LOVE to be), we want everyone to be happy and will stop at nothing to achieve that, not to mention we ourselves never get a moment when WE feel off balance; b/c to the outside world we are ALWAYS balanced. Personally I hate that feeling, like LOATHE! It's Monday always feels great to wake up and realize it's Monday right? NO fucking way, it BLOWS!! THANK GOD the kids start camp next Monday b/c I am honestly getting dumber by the moment. XOXO BTC

FATHER'S DAY…NOT JUST ANOTHER DAY!

I love this day, you celebrate your father and/or your husband…it focuses on the person you love but not you, and I love LOVE doting on someone else! It's a hard day for me too…I miss my dad A LOT and for some reason can't remember a lot of things but always remember Fathers Day. I always thought this is that one day a year, that he loves us SO much and remembers why he got married 3 times and had 4 kids, b/c he WANTED to be father. Sad but true. I hope everyone that celebrates enjoys the time with their family. Love to all! XOXO BTC

PAIN, PAIN GO AWAY

It's hard to see someone you love in pain, and in pain a lot of the time. It affects every area of their life and then inadvertently affects you too. Why is it that the pain pain won't go away? Not sure what's worse having something quick and painful, or long-lasting dull pain…it all sounds horrific! Tomorrow is Thursday, and the start of camp cannot fucking start fast enough! I LOVE my girls (in this case Lila b/c Aiden is still in school), but I do need a break from these little biotches too. I need a little adult stimulation too and at the moment there's not much of that going on with this girl. I am ready for the weekend, it's Fathers Day (never really fun for me), but you know after Brian and I got married and had kids it's made it much more bearable. Sat. will be with friends for a bday party and an afternoon of fun, I need it too…nothing like being with your best friends (preferably your best girlfriends). I am exhausted, EXHAUSTED!! Nighty, night! XOXO BTC

WHEN IN DOUBY SHOUT IT OUT

Sorry, have had my head up my ass for the last few days, so have not had a moment to check in with myself:) I hope everyone's day is way more eventful than me, home with Lila until camp starts…YIPPEE! Lets not forget about work, the new company and getting my book in on time, b/c I know less important than my boo…and yes really less important, I wish everyone else would just understand that too! HA! IT's another week, starting off with lots of rain and lots of shit to do but SO looking forward to being in NYC tomorrow day through night, and ending the day having a few drinks with one of my besties!!! Summer is fun in SO many way, and then you stop and think of all the plans and people you get to see and it makes it even MORE exciting! I found out some interesting news the other day, a couple I am more than familiar with is separated; and has been for some time I guess under the radar. It is a an odd feeling to be at the age where some marriages don't work out, but at the same time we are certainly deep into that time, so it's not THAT weird. Does that sound weird? :) Wishing everyone a good week, will be back soon! XOXO BTC

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOO!

And I am NOT referring to Brian. Happy 43rd birthday to my REAL boo, Mark Walhlberg! This video sums it up, and Jesus H. Christ it make my fucking day! http://vimeo.com/20854428 Nothing gets between ME and my Calvins! XOXO BTC

I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLS….

I do sometimes wish I could be the califorina girl. The girl that can just relax and chill, and let shit happen. The one that can tune out for a moment to work, and just BE…but alas I am not. I am the opposite of that, I am the one that NEVER shuts down and can't even get out of my own way sometimes. It's sad but true, and I think even when I DO check out I am never fully OUT if you know what I mean. Why are some people programmed one way and some the other way? AND can we change and become more like the other way? It's Tuesday (and honestly it could have been more terrible:), but it's a weird feeling in the office while the walls are bare and all the samples are being returned to clients! I don't really know what to do with myself in there but at the same time there's SO much to be done! It will be strangely awesome to just think about my brand for a change, and not changing the world for any other brands. I am in the middle of a detox and could really use a glass of red, may have to break it for one little treat:) BON VOYAGE, or until the next time! XOXO BTC

AND THAT'S A WRAP!

There are those times in your life that you always think, that will never be me…I will never be at my 20th HS reunion, and then all of a sudden you ARE that person, old enough to be at your 20 year. IT's weird I think prep school is amazing in SO many ways, the friendships are so strong b/c you are with the same people for your entire life, BUT at the same time there are those who have that sense of entitlement after attending schools like that, and their elitist attitude only gets worse with age…and by this time, you can hardly stand seeing some of them; or relate to them for that matter. I had a GREAT weekend with friends, the same ones I have known for my entire life and am so thankful to have; but would have been cool to have seen some of the other people I don't really talk to anymore (other groups), and catch up. I am not on Facebook so there's a lot that I guess I miss about what's going on, in other people's lives. The weekend has now come to a close, and the fact of the matter is I am going to always run into people I just don't care for, question is how often at at what cost! HAPPY SUNDAY! XOXO BTC