ATHEIST NO MORE

I will start this entry by saying everyone that knows me well, knows that I am far from a religious person. I think part of the reason I am the way that I am, is because my parents really did not want to confuse me more with religion; when we were already dealing with the mixed race thing. I also think that my observation with religion has always been one filled with so much prejudice and judgement that it was hard for me to see what each religion really meant! It was doused with so much shit, that to uncover what was really there would take far too much time, and that would mean someone would have had to enlighten me in a very special way. Needless to say, I attended a Baptist church memorial service (my best friends brother-in-law died suddenly on the 25th), so Brian and I went to pay our respects. The MOMENT you walk into the church or even the surrounding area of the church (this one happened to be in Harlem), the vibe is just different, accepting, open, loving. It was also kinda nice to be the majority in the room and not the minority if you know what I mean:):) In any which case, I was SO moved be the ceremony, the music, the pastors, his brothers from his fraternity, the families who attend that I can honestly say it felt very at home for me. NOW my mother is Catholic and my father was Episcopalian so this is NOT an area I am well versed in, BUT honestly it did not matter. When I walk into a Temple I feel like I am from literally from outer space and it's not a jewish non-jewish thing at all, it's a welcoming thing for sure. I feel ostracized and small. Even during funerals, everyone is crying everything is SO sad, it's just horrific…with this, it was a celebration of this young mans life taken too short. A celebration in his honor with music and laughing. It was simply amazing. As I write this I reflect on my own life and I want to be remembered. I think about who would attend my funeral out of love and honor and not just because they had to. Where would I be buried? Or would I at all? What kind of ceremony would I want and would I want it to be non-denominational? I mean I would b/c that's who I am but there is a LARGE part I would love to take from the Baptist church simply b/c it's beautiful. A very interesting evening, one I could not have imagined but feel blessed to have attended. May you rest in peace Kevin Forbes, for you were sincerely loved by all of your family and your peers. XOXO BTC