"SHOOTING AT THE WALLS OF HEARTACHE (BANG BANG) I AM A WARRIOR….."

I LITERALLY feel that way almost everyday in the area I grew up in. As I get older I feel further and further away from the type of people I used to call my friends, realizing that I always felt different because I WAS in fact different. I don't even think it was so much them making me feel that way, I think I just felt that way b/c it WAS that way. I am now sitting in the same town, looking for a home and clearly not committing to one b/c I don't even fucking like it here; but then there's that part of me that shouldn't and doesn't care about them, but has to see them AND THAT is super annoying. I think to myself would it be better to move to a completely different state? And how far would I have to go? I don' want to leave the best friends that I have had my entire life that live in the general vicinity of where I live, and oh my family too of course. Makes things a bit more complicated. I think that's what I loved about the city, the anonymity of it all was fantastic and you just saw who you wanted to see and ran into who you wanted to run into (on occasion there's always a one off) and there were all different types of people and schools; I just loved it. I know there were things about it I didn't love too, but those were things I could easily overlook. I am sad that there's not a place in NJ that exists with GREAT schools and everything that I want, that really good mix of people it's forcing me to think outside of the box that's for sure, but it also makes me sad to think that for the better part of my life I wasted so much time being friends with the wrong people. "TERRIBLE TUESDAY" is in full affect! XOXO BTC