THIS IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...

What do you do when a friend (best no less), loses her way? How can you find your way back to her, how can she find her way back to everyone? Well she did just that...and in that moment I felt like it was the 1st day of the rest of her life! It's hard to talk about things that were never easy to discuss to begin with, EVEN when you are present in person and in spirit. One of my BEST friends in the entire world lost her way, and now she is being integrated again into our world and really...she's doing it beautifully! It's hard to think that there was a time when I buried her in my mind and in my life, b/c the idea that she was going to die was extremely possible. I did not want to be one of those people that just hoped and prayed with the notion that things would never turn out positively; it was much easier to realize it was more than likely NOT going to happen. BUT it did, not sure still how it all went down but she came back to us. She cleaned herself up on the inside AND the outside...and I could not be happier, and in all honesty relieved! The issues I can't seem to come to grips with, is the man and the past. I don't know exactly what went down and I am not sure if I have a right to ask. I can't seem to figure that out, can I ask those things? can I GO there? I mean we REALLY went there on Sunday, at a bar and laid right into her...but can I go there again and again and even more? Can I get the full story at least once and then REALLY, truly move one? Can I? I feel like I can, that I can push those boundaries when I need to b/c we are so close. But how does it happen? How does life get SO bad you have to turn to a drug that nearly destroyed you? HOW does that happen? How does someone who has everything make those types of life decisions? A highly educated, smart, joyful, loving person do that? It scares me more than anyone could ever imagine, lord knows I don't want to fuck up my kid so that those are things I would have to deal with later in life too. I mean, someone's got to take some responsibility for it...in addition to THE one person who can control it; and that being "you." I am happy to have her back in my life, in my mind and alive and well. I am thankful to know that we did not give up and just let her be, people who love her went to great lengths so find her and to get her back. The rest is up to her...the sky's the limit! Here's to "Terrible Tuesday!" XOXO BTC