CRY ME A RIVER...

I give a whole new meaning to Justin's song, "Cry Me A River"...I mean for real, I am like waterworks central!

What is it about the increase of hormones that makes the smallest thing, seem incredibly LARGE! I cry at times when it makes no sense at all, and that often turns into hysterics. Last night I could not find this schmata thing I wear sometimes at home and cried hysterically to Brian, because it was missing. I mean, like I have nothing else to wear? It is beyond ridiculous!

I watch "The Hills" for christ sake and cry because kristen can't be with Brody! I don't know those people, nor do I care...but for some reason things as ridiculous as THAT, make me weepy! No one told me that I would want to kill someone at one moment and then want to kiss them the next. Things that never bothered me, bother me now...and the things that made me crazy before pregnant, I could care less about! I cannot make a decision worth my life and I am someone who was RARELY indecisive. My normally short fuse is even shorter, and I can't stand when things are not in the perfect order; being type A already that's super scary for people like my husband. I hate disorganized anything and chaos makes me nuts...but I have not done a THING for this baby at all...and am entering my 7th month of pregnancy early next month. WTF does that mean? I want things done but I don't want to do them? I guess in conclusion you are just not yourself when pregnant, DUH we know this man. I mean you are in some ways but in many other ways you are not!

I always like to pile on so many things that I can't really breathe, but want everyone to think that I have it all together! I am not sure how to balance it all at the moment being a mom, having a big career, husband, friends, family, plans, etc. but I am reluctant to let anything go! I cry because I can't handle a lot of it, but at the same time I still do it all? WHAT the fuck is that about? I guess the only thing I really have going for me, is a lot of sex! HA!

More to come kids, more to come...
XOXO
BTC