I STILL HAVE A BAD FEELING...

There are times in your life when you say things to people that you care about, or say things about people you care about that you know you can't take back. I have one of those that still haunts me... A nameless faceless friend from the past, whom I really cared about overheard me say something about them that was a bit out of character for me; AND also somewhat not true about them. It was one of those moments when you leave your phone on and and you are reiterating something to someone, and being slightly more off color than you normally would...and they hear you. It was really not nice of me, and to this day I still feel really badly about it. NOW, there are a TON of people in my past I don't feel that way about, don't care for, and am happy to not be connected to anymore...but there is always at least one where that does not hold true. In any event, today I feel I need to repent that sin, mourn the loss of a friend and then continue to move on as I have so many years later. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend...until next time. XOXO BTC

I HATE to say this, but I HATE everyone...

It's kind of irony at it's best (that above title). But it seems to be true these days...I seem to loathe more people than I like. What is different in the world that I feel this way, or I am just getting older and realizing there are so many more people who suck than those that don't? No one ever seems satisfied, and maybe part of that is the case that people get too much of what they want, and then go ape the times that they don't. The idea of instant gratification has taken on a whole new meaning now a days. We use to live in a world when we could not see results so quickly, we would have to wait to see something that we worked on, etc. But now, b/c you can turn things around so quickly when you don't people are not happy. I find this DAILY in my what I do for a living and it seems to be spilling into my personal life too. IF you can't be everything to everyone, if you can't be everyone at once or you can't deliver everything at all times, you have failed in some way. The bar is set too high so even those that deliver 99.9% of the time, is not longer enough. I am exhausted. Exhausted from hearing people bitch all the time about MORE MORE MORE, exhausted from not getting enough sleep b/c well you know my kids need me 100% too, and SHOT to shit trying to hold my own self together making sure I don't fall apart. The theme of the day is, clearly I hate everyone...but hate to say that too. Is it the weekend yet? Oh wait those suck lately too. XOXO BTC

Can woman really have it all? I honestly am not sure...

People often say that the best thing that they ever did was have their kids...and this I TOTALLY agree with; HOWEVER, we know there's always a touch of honesty missing if you ask me. Brian and I have created this amazing life with our 2 girls, a life I am so blessed to have. But really, can a woman have it all? It's that forever pondering question posed all too often. I do think it's possible to feel and say that you can have it all, but at what price? Something's always gotta give whether it is SOME of your career, your health, your relationship with your significant other, time with the kids, etc. Something has to give. The question is what do you need to give up a little? What areas get 80% and what areas get 100%? I would like to say I am even on all accounts but clearly things for me take a back seat, although that's not even something I listed above! So I won't include that, but at some point my clients get more attention than my family and at what price? OR my family gets more attention than my clients, and is that fair? How to you juggle it all and how can you be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE? I woke up a couple of times in the night for Lila, and have been on and off for the last couple of months. I am clearly lacking in the sleep dept. and I don't even have a newborn and at what cost? I turned to Brian in the middle of the night and said to him I don't know how much more of this I can take before I start to lose my mind, or continue to lose my mind slowly. So, I pose that question again, can you really have it all? I think you can look like you have it all, but in reality it's just not possible. Mmmmm....I feel this way today, talk to me on another day when she does sleep and everything is status quo and I may feel differently:) JUST being honest! XOXO BTC

So many people's personal style confuses me...

I am not sure if it's because I am in the industry or simply b/c I am a bitch...but I sometimes don't get the success of others; as it relates to fashion. What is it that people love and others loathe? AND why don't others loathe it the way that I do? I know that everyone has their own "sense" of style and that makes the world go round, but there are SO many people out there highlighting their own personal style, and style choices that I think truly suck! Then I think to myself..maybe it's me, and I have horrible taste? NO that can't possibly be:) In any event, can anyone now simply throw on some J.Crew rhinestone necklaces with a pair of pencil pants and a patterned sweater and call themselves a style icon? I think that if you don't have people that are truly schooled in that area running the show anymore, then anyone can be anyone...literally. IT seems to me that in very few professions can you just waltz in and say you are someone, act like you are someone, do things like you are someone...BUT in media you can crawl all over that shit with little to no experience; OR clout! I mean you don't have teachers walking around without credentials? You don't have dr.'s walking around without licenses practicing in the open? Why the fuck can anyone start a fashion blog,site whatever, look like shit, and direct big brands...DEAR lord what has this world come to. Don't get my wrong there are some good ones, but there are plenty of shitty fashion blogs...with really crappy taste. Now off to watch "Revenge", don't mind if I do. Nighty, night! xoxo BTC

Give a little, get a little...

I think one of the hardest things for people to understand is that the world does not work in a "tit for tat" way. You can't wait always get back exactly what others give. If the world worked that way no one would be friends, we would only have ourselves to deal with! I have come to realize that people invite people to do things, come to parties, etc. sometimes ONLY if they are invited the other way. OR you can be idiots like me (us my husband and I), and always include everyone to make it easy...EVEN when you are never invited to someone else's things. I don't know it all seems really political to me...why can't we all just get along? How do you know if there is a friend you can count on 100% vs. one where there are stipulations to the relationship? AND what if an entire group feels a certain way about a person/people but you continue to have a relationship with them simply b/c it's easier than actually dealing with it? How does that benefit anyone? Everyone is so weird, not to say I am not somewhat strange in my own way but...I don't know, as we get older everyone gets stranger!! Have a wonderful CYBER monday:) xoxo BTC

Happy THANKSGIVING!

Happy Thanksgiving...that's all for today:) Much love and happiness to you and yours! xoxo BTC

BIG BIRD DAY!

MY absolute favorite day of the year is Thanksgiving!! I love the food, family, cheer and nothing has to do with ANYTHING gift related! You just stuff your face, enjoy each others company...AND eat some more. It's the one holiday I claim will always be at my mom's! I can't give it up, I tried but it just does not work for me. I grew up in the house where we still celebrate and hope to for many more years to come; especially now with the kids. The most delicious food we prepare, including macc and cheese, turkey, stuffing, gravy, apple pie, pumpkin bread...and no one does it better than mom. It is also a time to think about those who are less fortunate than we are, those who have less or none at all. Those who have been victims of horrific life curve balls and now have nothing at all. I wish I could give more, do more. The 1st thing I am doing if I ever do make more than I can handle is give some of it away; obviously the democrat in me! Happy Thanksgiving to all...enjoy your friends, family, food, wine, and then some. xoxo BTC